Customer Reviews

Handfasted And Heartjoined: Rituals for Uniting a Couple's Hearts and Lives

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

As a Pagan and minster able to perform weddings and handfastings I've got to say, I've NEVER been as offended by a work that's supposed to be all about love as I've been by this book.
Where to begin...hmmm...OK let's start with her perception that in order to be handfast, you MUST be a Witch but not a self-initiated one, rather only Coven-initiated. Her introduction describes a handfasting she refused to do! I could give the benefit of the doubt as the man involved was obviously not wanting a full-on pagan handfasting, BUT rather than explaining what would happen, etc, she tells them she won't do the ceremony, and later in the introduction takes obvious pleasure in the demise of that relationship. Later on in the book her depictions of what a "TRUE" handfasting is (as the three types) I was about to chew the book up and spit it out when I read this line: "For a couple that consists of two initiated Witches (and I do not include self-initiated in this definition)....." I decided then and there that this book is A) Witchier than thou and B) disrespectful of not only self-initiates but also of those who would marry a non-Wiccan/pagan. She states that such marriages generally do not work out. Let me assure you, they can and do. Marriage is NOT about religion, folks, it's about SO much more and she scoffs at that as well, stating that romantic love has NO place in marriage. I had to give this book some sort of rating and as there wasn't a bit for NO stars, I had to give it the lowest, but frankly, I'd give it less than one star. Follow your hearts, let THAT be your guide in your pagan wedding, there WILL be other books out there and soon.
Blessed Be.

I was very disappointed in this book. I have been looking for ideas for my wedding/handfasting and thought this sounded like it might have some good ideas. Boy, was I wrong! The author has a very negative attitude towards anyone who wants a Pagan wedding and is not a Coven initiate, let alone a solitary. She also makes very snide remarks about anyone who wants a Pagan wedding, but doesn't want the whole BWD (Big White Dress) format. Overall, I would rate this book lower than 1 star if I could. I definitely would NOT recommend it to anyone!

I was very surprised by this author. As a solitary pagan, marrying a Jew, I was put off by her instance that the marriage is doomed (we have already been together for 22 years) because I am pagan and he is not. She tells some terrible stories about non pagan officals refusing to officate at handfastings, and then proceeds to talk about the inablity of "interfaith" marriages from working and that she often will not marry such couples. One reason I am a pagan is because I abhor intolerance, and here it is. Well, I guess a fundamentalist is a fundamentalist, not matter who your God or gods.

I was very disappointed with this book. I felt that the author was quite judgemental of different people's types of commitments. I follow the Reclaiming Pagan/Wiccan tradition, & I believe that this type of book is too snobbish to have any relevance to an eco-feminist tradition.

I have been looking for a book on handfastings since I discovered the religion of wicca. I finally found one, and I was pretty impressed with the information and ideas given in it. The only problem is, becaus i have read so little ont eh subject, I have no idea how well researched this book is. But all in all it has excellent ideas and it shows that there are different degrees of handfastings. A simple handfasting, for example, can be as long or as short a commitment as two people want, whereas the more "serious" handfastings are "as long as the love shall last". Her opinions can help you form your own but remember, as she says, IT IS YOUR HANDFASTING, no one should be able to tell you what you can and cannot do in your own ritual of love.

This was the first and only book I could find on Handfasting. I had already started (and almost completed) the preparations for my own Handfasting when I ordered this book. Maeve Rhea starts off the book with a negative Handfasting experience as a warning (that's my guess) that this is a rite which should be seriously thought out. I agree with that viewpoint. Ms. Rhea also is of the opinion that pagans and non-pagans should not be Handfast. This is something that should be a matter of choice for those involved. This book has some useful information and is well written. I had finished reading it in a matter of hours. I recommend this book to those who are planning a Handfasting and are sure of themselves.

This book is of particular interest to any pagans who are in the process of creating a meaningful ritual for their marriages, particularly if both parties in the marriage are pagan, or at least one is pagan and the other is pagan-leaning. The book is well-written, and explains the purpose and history of handfasting, with particular focus on the meaning and significance of the ritual. I would recommend it to any pagan couple that wants a meaningful ritual to mark their union.

This book is an good resource for suggestions and ideas on planning a handfasting. My partner and I used this book to put together a list of what we wanted/needed - and it helped us figure out what we didn't want or need as well. I would not call it comprehensive, but it does touch on all the major points needed to be considered - good for someone who is a self-starter or enjoys putting together more of the details themselves with just an outline for a guide.

As Shonna Rhein pointed out, the book was obviously biased and lacking in some aspects. Pagan-to-non-Pagan marriages do certainly work out, and solitary practitioners are just as much a witch as those who are coven-initiated.
That said, I did find the book was helpful in planning my ceremony and writing vows.

I was suprised after reading this book to find so many harsh and judgemental reviews! Having been married before, I found the authors voice to be extrememly refreshing.

This book is not a "How To" book, by any means. I do not believe it was meant to be... On the contrary, I believe this book to be the ultimate resource for the development of realistic expectations.

The author is definitely opinionated with regard to inter-faith marraiges, and her experience is primarily with that of coven-initiated pagans; so it is to be expected that she voice her opinions as such. However, I did not find her voice at all judgemental or discriminatory. Afterall, she made a point throughout the book to insist that, when done with intention and for the "right" reasons, ANY union can be successful.

Deciding to get married is a huge decision, and unfortunately, the current divorce rates are proof that too many people embark on this decision without a clear or realistic vision of "why," or what to expect. It was her views on what it takes to have a successful union that drew me to her work.

I found her to be brutally realistic, forcing the reader to really look within his or herself to determine the true intention behind their desire for union. Her views are based on years of intimate experience with couples and their paths to unity, and I found her stories of actual experiences to be extremely illuminating.

I also found her realistic approach to planning, extremely helpful! When I married for the first time, I allowed my family and friends to make decisions for me and ultimately (although my wedding was beautiful), it was not about me and proved to be a miserable experience.

This author has an unbelievable grasp of what works! Her views are opinionated, but with good reason. Sadly, I believe many of the reviews thus far, to be extremely unfair and most likely the rants of some extremely stressed out or insecure people.

The fact is, she makes some incredibly good points, whether you choose to agree with them or not. When you pick up a book, on any subject, you do so because you are interested in what another being has to say. It is soley up to you to choose what to take from it.

That in mind, this work is not for the faint of heart. If you don't have a clear idea of who you are and what you want, or you are expecting someone else to tell you exactly what you should do, step-by-step, then by all means avoid this book.