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Hanging On By My Fingernails: Surviving the new divorce gamesmanship, and how a scratch can land you in jail Paperback – April 17, 2012


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 230 pages
  • Publisher: Burning Sage Publishing House (April 17, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0981611400
  • ISBN-13: 978-0981611402
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,157,620 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Janie McQueen's writing career includes news beats at major metro newspapers including The Greenville (SC) News and the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, and a stint as a speechwriter during the 1996 Summer Olympic Games in Atlanta. She is the author of three previous books, including The Magic Bookshelf, a parents' favorite and library staple that was also featured in Parenting's Babytalk magazine and as a series in The Los Angeles Times Book Review as part of Reading by 9, a children's literacy initiative. A native of Beaufort, SC, McQueen has a BA in English literature and writing from the University of South Carolina. She is married and the mother of four children, who range in age from 3 to 14. They live in metro Atlanta.

Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
5 star
83%
4 star
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2 star
8%
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See all 12 customer reviews
Kudo's to you McQueen for bringing this out into the open!
victim of divorce process
If you are a woman in an abusive relationship and/or married to a narcissist, you must read this book!
J. Landers
It's about time for a clear-eyed look at the divorce and custody industry.
Ann Individual

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By J. Landers on March 18, 2013
Format: Paperback
If you are a woman in an abusive relationship and/or married to a narcissist, you must read this book!

Here's the latest twist - Abusive husbands now claiming their wives are the abusers and they are the victims!!

This ploy is just as ugly as it sounds. Some men are upending domestic violence laws so that their wives (who are the true victims) are arrested, prosecuted and even sentenced as abusers.

In the foreword to the new book, Hanging On By My Fingernails: Surviving the New Divorce Gamesmanship, and How a Scratch Can Land You in Jail, written by Janie McQueen, Tamara N. Holder, a Chicago criminal defense attorney, explains how the scam works:

"Unfortunately, many abusive men have learned to reshape domestic violence laws into another weapon of abuse. They are turning police and court protections upside down: The abusers themselves call 9-1-1; they have the women arrested for domestic violence; and then they do everything they can to try to have the women prosecuted and sentenced. In this way, the true victim is painted as the abuser.

There is a deeper motivation in using this ploy; to show a pattern of "violent conduct" on the woman's part so that the abuser can use it as evidence against her in a divorce or child custody battle. And this form of abuse is permanent. A bruise heals after a few days, but a conviction for a violent crime mars her record forever.

The set-up: A couple has a fight. Either the wife calls 9-1-1 in a desperate plea for police intervention, or the husband makes the call first in a preemptive attack. When the police arrive, the woman is visibly upset. The man, on the other hand, is extremely calm as he switches off his anger. The husband tells the police that his wife is delusional, crazy, and violent.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Wren Archer on April 9, 2012
Format: Paperback
Don't scratch him trying to get your cell phone back. Knowledge is power. The advice in McQueen's book is relevant to any women in the midst of a divorce or contemplating a divorce. For that matter it may apply to some men. The outrageous tactics mentioned have been gleaned from divorce warfare cases and unfortunately they've been used against, and hurt good people. People like the author. Even if you think you're getting out of a marriage peacefully the nutty stuff brought to light in this well researched book can be pulled at the ninth hour. Do you have kids involved? You owe it to them to read the book. Don't live in fear of the tactics, become aware of them, be informed.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Sarah Miller on April 6, 2012
Format: Paperback
In addition to providing a wealth of legal advice, Janie expertly weaves her personal story of divorce, as well as those of other women and men who have fallen victim to divorce gamesmanship, into a tale that is at times both riveting and poignantly humorous. Having just gone through a divorce myself, I was fortunate not to fall victim to the kinds of underhanded maneuvers that fill the pages of this book. Yet, in the high stakes world we live in, I would not hesitate to recommend this book to any friend contemplating separation or divorce. Janie's knowledge of the legal pitfalls that can ensnare the unsuspecting can serve as a cautionary tale to anyone navigating the complexities of divorce today.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Jenna Brooks on May 26, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
There are times when I find myself wishing I could somehow get a book into the hands of every woman out there.

I have a special section of my library which holds a few well-worn texts on Domestic Violence, the Family Court system, and related issues. There were only five "go-to" books there, until a moment ago - when I placed Janie McQueen's HANGING ON BY MY FINGERNAILS on the top of the stack.

Not to be pejorative toward other works on the referenced topic, but this isn't the usual offering on DV and the courts. This is the story of Ms. McQueen's own hellish struggle with the latest tentacle of the misogynistic chokehold that the "Father's Rights" movement has established within the FC system: Divorce Gamesmanship.

To sum it up: The male who wants to dump his wife/mother of the children somewhere while he sets himself up for the preferred stance in a divorce action is instructed to get her arrested. How? Bait, attack, assault - and if she defends herself, call 911. The System will take it from there.

The enduring power of this book is found in the fact that Janie McQueen doesn't merely explore, examine, and explain Divorce Games; no, she recounts it. She lays bare her own ordeal of being maneuvered onto the Gamesmanship hook, with her children used as the bait; then, she adroitly takes apart The Games, and the systems which support them. In her work to get the warning out to other women, Ms. McQueen relives a thousand betrayals, from the treachery and deceit of her well-coached ex to the church people whom she once considered friends. Perhaps the most devastating element of "Hanging On" - of this sick culture as a whole, really - is the enthusiastic, even eager defection of useful idiots to the side of the oppressors.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Eyes on May 12, 2012
Format: Paperback
This book is a MUST READ for ALL women. With more than 50% of marriages ending in divorce, and more and more women ending up in jail after altercations with spouses and boyfriends, what you don't know can seriously hurt you. Author Janie McQueen educates women on the perils that can destroy a woman's life if she is not aware of the laws, the legal system and how it works when couples fight. If you are unaware, a simple scratch on your partner can leave a permanent mark on your record that can not only scar you emotionally, but it can devastate you financially. Many companies do not want to hire a woman who has an arrest record--forget about a conviction!!

Expert reporter and author Janie McQueen writes not only a riveting story of her time in jail and having the police come to her house believing she was suicidal when she wasn't - all because her husband was framing her-- she teaches you the laws, and what you need to know to be prepared. She also shares the stories of other women who went through exactly what she did, too.

Did you know if your kids see you fighting in some states it is considered "cruelty to children"? It's true!

Don't wait until it's too late for you, and you are scarred deeply by a bad argument. Get educated, be knowledgeable and be prepared!!

Excellent book. I highly recommend it!
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