Customer Reviews

Happily Ever After Divorce: Notes of a Joyful Journey

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It was the title that first attracted me: Happily Ever After Divorce. As someone who once bought a decorative pillow with the words "Happily Ever After" embroidered in demure cream, and tossed it on my marital bed hoping that the pillow would make that wish could true, I keenly felt the pain of thinking that my own impending divorce would kill my dreams of happily ever after.

Jessica Bram, a witty and honest writer, is here to tell you that there's a lot people aren't telling you about your divorce, and most of it is actually pretty good news.

Ms. Bram doesn't sugar-coat the pain, fear and confusion that come through the process of tearing one home into two. In there are all the gut-wrenching legal battles that feel so much like being under seige, the guilt at what she's doing to her children, the anger at the man who was supposed to love her forever now turning into an enemy. But the resounding message throughout each lovely chapter is, "I made it, and so can you." It is a genuinely uplifting book. By the time you get to the chapter "Friends With My Ex-Husband," you feel like although it can be dark during a divorce, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

If you're expecing a "how-to" of happy divorce, this isn't the book for you. It's a series of stand-alone first-person essays about one woman's experience. But in many ways, it's even better than a how-to. It's certainly more personal, touching and well-written. You feel like you're talking to a sister or old friend who has gone through what you're going through - and is here to let you know that everything will be okay.

At times hilarious (the chapter on eclipse-chasing in Europe with her young boys is not to be missed), often poignant but mostly hopeful, Happily Ever After Divorce is a book you'll want to read again and again and pull out in your darkest nights. By the time the author finds love again in "Then Comes Love" (you hoped all along that she would, but were not always sure, since she seems to really love being single), you feel like someone has shone a light on the map, and you no longer feel you're in alien territory alone.

This book is an engaging, charming and fast read. I recommend it highly.

What a breath of fresh air this book was ! As a recently divorced 58-year old woman (of 2 grown daughters), I was struck by how similar our feelings and experiences were throughout the whole divorce process - feelings about our children, our ex-husbands being incredible fathers, trying to keep our kids whole and healthy throughout the process and everything else she captures so beautifully in her book. I was actually happy I read it AFTER my divorce, rather than while I was going through it. It allowed me to reflect on where I've been, where I want to go and how I might get there - at a time when my feelings were not so raw.
I didn't want this warm & tender book to ever end, and I will definitely re-read it. It was such a comfort to me.

A wonderful read that flows, entertains and makes you feel less alone. Jessica helps you conjure up and understand all the emotions associated with divorce, and moves you through them. You'll find yourself nodding your head in agreement as she relates her experiences, and you'll find the book hard to put down.
We were fortunate to have Jessica speak to our group and the audience didn't want her to leave! She's a breath of fresh air with a delightful sense of humor and encouraging words of wisdom about moving life forward.

I picked up Jessica Bram's book at the Next Chapter Expo [Denver 2011], the first, post-divorce expo in the country. As a divorce coach, I have read dozens of books on divorce and found Ms. Bram's book one of the very best. I wish I had read this book when I was going through my divorce. The book delivers a message of hope and great tips to deal with issues that surface during post marriage transitions.

Thanks to the stories shared by Ms. Gram, I too remembered feeling overwhelmed when a light bulb burned out and I cried over another "broken" thing. I grieved for the loss of my mother-in-law, my friend and surrogate grandmother, who I never saw again. I wish my ex and I knew the advantages of keeping lawyers and court staff away from our parenting plan. Dating in my 40s was certainly a trip - and Jessica tells of her experiences with such humor. And most profound is her explanation for the genuine admiration she now feels for the father of her children.

Ms. Bram tells a tale of hope, adventure & happiness. Those words aren't often used in books about divorce. She doesn't gloss over the painful components of divorce - and there are many. But she says that for every bit of sadness there are also moments of relief and perhaps even joy for being able to breathe again.

Happily Ever After Divorce is just the right dose of reality, humor and inspirational anecdotes. Jessica Bram's story shows us that even an experience as dreadful as divorce is not insurmountable. Her tales are witty, sorrowful only sometimes and most of all REAL. The memoir-style writing gives advice without being at all preachy - after all, it's her story and you can take from it what you will. I took a whole handful.

The process of being "re-singled" (as Jessica suggests we could call it, as the word divorce holds such negative connotations) while painful in so many ways, paves the way for opportunities that would never otherwise have been possible.

Throughout the book, she speaks to the reader with candor and presents the hopeful as well as not-so-pretty sides of single motherhood. This is a refreshing and light way to not only identify issues in divorce, but to embrace and accept them (and yes, you are still allowed to be angry).

When I first picked up this book I was thinking, "How can I possibly respect a woman with 3 children who was happy about divorce?" But as it turns out, Jessica takes a rather unhappy situation and learns to change her frame of reference.

Isn't that a skill we can all use to overcome life's challenges?

This is a book with a unique point of view: divorce doesn't have to be the worst experience of your life, and it can even lead to a joyful and fulfilling life. Although the author doesn't skimp on the challenges she faced in going through her divorce, her personal stories show her ability to overcome difficult times and emerge triumphant.

The book opens with the author, Jessica Bram, leaving her nineteen year marriage at the age of forty-one, with three young children. In her introduction, she admits that finding the courage to get out of her marriage was hard:

"Hard like childbirth, like building a skyscraper or perhaps demolishing one. As hard as any of the most formidable challenges I had ever faced -- every college or graduate school degree, every major disruption, every relocation, every turnaround.

But then, as after childbirth, a glorious new life emerged at this time, my own. After my divorce I emerged into sunlight, stunned and blinking. Disoriented, yes, and many, many times afraid. But only then did life begin. Only then did I start to piece together, for the first time ever, a life that had fresh air and laughter, challenges and triumphs. A life of outer joys and for the first time, inner peace.

I am here to say that it can be done."

In a refreshing down-to-earth writing style, Bram reveals how she coped with the rollercoaster of emotions as she went through the divorce process. She discusses how she raised her children in a loving atmosphere and worked with her ex-husband to be sure that they always acted in a way that was best for the children.

"How did these children of a painful, difficult divorce turn out? I can say this unequivocally: that the way we raised them as children who belong to two separate homes, governed in the agreement that we tediously began to hammer out over that long-ago cup of coffee, is the one thing, in my life at least, I can call an unqualified success. Our three boys grew up confident and secure in two different, peaceful, loving homes. Never having had to choose between their parents, they have close, comfortable relationships with both their father and me. They get along well with each other and with friends. There have been girlfriends, some long-term. All three have excelled in school, with the two oldest attending Ivy League colleges. The fact that their lives were not cradled in wall-to-wall comfort, that they had extra responsibilities -- remembering in which house their school books were left, helping their mother shoulder difficult household chores, preparing their week's assignments while keeping in mind in which house they would be spending the night -- only made them more capable and mature than a good many of their peers. Mostly, I believe that they are truly secure -- as only children with reliable, mature, and loving parents can be."

This is a book that any woman going through the emotional turmoil of divorce will relate to. It's filled with personal moments of revelation, good sound advice, and helpful ideas. If you're going through a divorce - or even thinking about divorce - this book is for you. Not only will you find a kindred spirit, but you'll enjoy the clever writing and upbeat message that even though your marriage is ending, a new and possibly wondrous life for you is just beginning.

I finished the book last night and I must say this book is Pulitzer!

I have never in my 39 years of life read such realistic literary literature, ever!
This book, "Happily Ever After Divorce" is an exact replica of my life right now!
The only difference between this author's married life/divorce and mine is I'm African American, LOL!
The only part in her book that I have not experienced is the mother-in-law bonding after the
divorce, I filed in August 2009 and my mother-in-law and I still have not spoken yet.

After reading the book, I hated coming to the last page, it was that good!
I feel much better about my circumstances now after reading it and I'm encouraged to go to the end.
I do see the light at the end of the tunnel and it looks bright!!

Anyway, the climax in this book is on pg. 128 and it describes my whole 12 year marriage and why I filed for divorce, in the first paragraph it reads," So despite my otherwise normally independent nature, I tended to be uncharacteristically complacent about allowing myself to be led around.......The relaxation afforded by not having to find my way around seemed well worth the surrender of autonomy"....... Pulitzer!

It was inspiring to encounter this memoir of/by Jessica Bram. Her story immediately walked off the page and into my thoughts and feelings. I was divorced many years ago, but I still wrestle with issues around the breaking up and making up of relationships. There i was in the coffee shop with her, doing the emails, making friends with the one I used to love, and finding I too could go on. One of the intriguing things about the book was the framing of each of the issues/moments in a separate chapter. I loved the titles--it meant i could easily return to a particular episode I wanted to re-experience. When i started the book, I began to read fast and furiously; it was as if I had been offered a sumptuous feast, lots of courses, none of which I could resist. But then I realized that the moments were even better when I slowed down and savored them, "consuming" only one--at most two--chapters at one reading session. It occurs to me as I write this, that Jessica's story would be especially good reading for folks who meet to share dilemmas about relationships.

A friend gave me a copy of this book and I could not put it down. It is the story of Jessica Bram's divorce and how she made a new life for herself and her sons and discovered that life after divorce can become a time of discovery and fulfillment.
While the story of her divorce was quite painful to read, she does not sugar coat her struggles with her ex-husband nor her struggles with becoming a single parent. It is written with warmth, humor, and compassion.
This is not a how-to book, but rather a this-is-how-it-can-be book, and as a middle-aged woman finding herself divorced after a long term marriage I find the book to very affirming and postive.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who is already divorced, going thru a divorce, or is facing a divorce. It is a gem of a book.

I heard Jessica Bram speak at a book signing recently. As she read a passage from her book, my eyes welled up with recognition. Although her journey is uniquely her own, somehow Ms. Bram gets at the common threads, issues and fears for women who are considering divorce, in the thick of it or at the end of the process. Ms. Bram is authentic - a genuine voice that at times reveals the raw pain and fear of divorce, yet at other times, finds humor, a self-deprecating chuckle, to give us a little comic relief to what is an intense experience. The voice I heard at the book signing, is the same voice I heard as I read the book, which was like that of a friend, sharing her truth. The book is conveniently written in "digestible" essays - great for people like me who fall asleep regularly with a book on my chest. I would read one or two chapters then look forward to the next time when I could pick up and read any chapter I opened to. As one who is just beginning her own journey, I appreciated Ms. Bram's honest account and her hopeful view of happiness on the other side of divorce.