I recently watched the documentary, Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage. The film was produced, directed, and written by Lamar and Ronnie Tyler, the married duo behind Black and Married With Kids.
Upon receipt, I immediately watched the film, popping it in my laptop.
From the start, I didn't know what to expect. I had seen their ads on facebook, commented on their fan page out of support, but never watched the trailers.....
And honestly, I don't know why.
I've brainstormed a variety of reasons, however. There's a possibility that I thought the film just wasn't for me. See, I'm not married, I don't have children, and couldn't think of how this documentary would benefit me in any way.
Their website, Black and Married With Kids, on the other hand covers a wide range of topics, that aren't exclusive to the married. Dating relationships, familial concerns, children, faith, politics, current events, and education are just a few of the topics that they regularly cover in a safe and constructive web environment. The posts are thought provoking, honest, sincere, but always marked with compassion....and for this reason, they've become one of my favorites.
I check the site daily for inspiration, controversy, and intrigue.....
But I wondered if the movie would be he same. What would be there for me? A young single childless graduate student.
But I watched nonetheless and found the film refreshing.
No, I didn't cry, but I sincerely appreciated the opportunity to view authentic relationships, real conversation, and couples who valued one another.
But what I valued most was watching black men talk with their wives as they described their passion and their desire to not just maintain their relationships, but to thrive, to inspire and to break down many of the negative stereotypes they face daily.
This was something I hadn't seen before... at least not on screen. And for this reason, I immediately posted the following, on their facebook page, after viewing:
"I just got it in the mail........popped it in ....and I absolutely love it.....I really see this as monumental for our culture, our future, and our chi ldren. Thanks for sparking the discussion and the work you do."
As a single woman, who looks forward to marriage. I can honestly say that the film didn't give me hope to find a good black man....lol. I know there are good black men out there. They're the men I work with, family,friends, classmates, and neighbors.
But as a child from a single parent home, the film did help confirm my expectations for marriage, making my mental images concrete. In addition, I honestly believe that the documentary is a excellent resource for those who hope to be married, serving as a stimulus for constructive dialogue, a teaching tool for both the young and old, and a model for children without a firm foundation.