Happily Married With Kids [Paperback]

Carol Ummel Lindquist (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 6, 2004

Most new parents quickly discover that the arrival of a newborn-and the subsequent changes in priorities and lifestyle-can put a tremendous strain on even the best of marriages. In fact, research indicates that sixty-seven percent of new parents complain they are having less sex, less fun, and more arguments than before kids entered the picture.

Now, Dr. Carol Ummel Lindquist, marriage counselor and happily married mother of two, explores why parenthood can sometimes wreak havoc on dreams of a happily ever after-and reveals what couples can do to make their marriages solid and satisfying. Inspired by the author's twenty-five years of professional experience-and her own successful marriage-Happily Married with Kids shows readers how to:

€ Avoid the real parent trap: exhaustion and disruption
€ Manage conflicts and improve communication
€ Stay best friends with one's spouse
€ Balance work and home
€ Enjoy their kids-and each other-at every age
€ Revive their sex life
€ Find humor in everyday difficulties
€ Make time for themselves and their marriage

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Nora Ephron said that "having an infant is like tossing a hand grenade into a marriage." Carol Ummel Lindquist, who has spent twenty-five years as a marital therapist, agrees wholeheartedly. She says that sixty-seven percent of couples with children are less happy than they were before kids--largely because of unrealistic expectations. Some of Lindquist's advice seems simplistic ("Try to go one hour, one day or one week without criticizing anything,") but perhaps simple is the best place to start for couples trying to function on four hours of sleep. Happily Married With Kids has chapters on constructive fighting, how to find quality childcare, and ways couples can revitalize a lackluster sex life. While the topic of new-parenthood has been covered before, this is still a worthy reference for couples short on sleep and patience, but desperately in need of quick solutions to bring the fun and connection back to their marriage. --Erica Jorgensen

From Publishers Weekly

"The current high standards for parenting lead to low standards for marriage," contends clinical psychologist Lindquist in one of this book's more provocative chapters ("When and Why Benign Child Neglect is Good"), and here she informs parents how to reconnect and stay connected through the tough times. It's not difficult to reclaim a balanced relationship, emphasizes Lindquist, if you give your marital bond as much consideration as your children's well-being. She raises issues ranging from having an affair to traveling with the kids and delineates roles and rules for both children and parents. Spiced up with pertinent comic strips and real-life examples, Lindquist's highly readable, informative work will appeal to those who are looking to reestablish their lost matrimonial love.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 368 pages
• Publisher: Berkley Trade (January 6, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0425193950
• ISBN-13: 978-0425193952
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.2 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,505,416 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I'm a clinical psychologist, therapist and marriage counselor. My book, Happily Married With Kids, is a love note to my husband, Neil, who never read a self-help book in his life, until this one. Together we raised our two sons while I maintained my private practice in Laguna Beach. I am known for my work with high conflict couples and trauma therapy for individuals.

Recently I began conducting Couple Vision webinars and teleconferences, to introduce more couples to a specific technique designed to bring two independent lives together in a unified vision.

You can read more about my practice at http://www.cullagunabeach.com and about my book and webinar at http://www.doctorcarol.com

I have always wanted to share what I have learned to a broader audience and a few years ago decided to write down what I learned in my practice and observed while raising our own kids. The new book is a revised, updated edition of Happily Married With Kids.

If you read the book and find it helpful I would really appreciate if you would post a review on Amazon. Bloggers, if you like the book and have an idea for your blog, please contact me through one of my websites or call my publicist at 941-870-3422. To all who read this, I especially send you love and good luck improving and refining your relationships. Having a happy marriage is, I think, among the best gifts that you can give yourself, your spouse, your kids and everyone else around you!

Here's more that my publicist wrote ...
"Don't wait until it's too late to save your relationship!" writes Jessica Drew de Paz, Psy. D., Laguna Beach. "Dr. Carol Lindquist is an expert in couples' therapy, and in this book she shares her wisdom with the masses. You will gain practical tools for navigating universal parenting stressors, and emerge a stronger, healthier, happier family for having read it."

For less than the cost of Happy Meals for the kids, Dr. Carol presents well-documented, simple-to-understand, practical advice that helps couples build warmer, happier and longer-lasting relationships. The new book is written for couples with children, but offers practical, universal advice that would benefit all couples. It's a perfect gift, too, to express to your spouse how much you love them because you want your relationship to be the best it can be, now and forever.

The new edition is pared down to the essentials and "a must-have and should be required reading to accompany a marriage license as well as a birth certificate," said Laurie Parker of Temecula, California.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for new parents, January 10, 2004

By 

Neil M Poll (Laguna Beach, CA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Happily Married With Kids (Paperback)

As a psychologist working both with couples and individuals, I have been awaiting the publication of this book with much anticipation. So often I have found that parents of young children feel very isolated and overwhelmed in their distress over having to balance parenthood and marriage. This book resonates so well with the experiences of many couples having to adjust to the challenges of parenthood and marriage. In this book Dr. Lindquist describes with a great deal of humor the frequent challenges that arise. This book is practical and easy to read, even when you have had an exhausting day with the kids... This is a book that not only describes and analyses the problems, it focuses on solutions, recovery, and repair. Dr. Lindquist offers wonderful suggestions and specific "how to" tips that will help couples stay connected, communicate well, have a good sexual relationship, negotiate responsibilities, and learn to enjoy vacations, holidays, and the rich joys that can be experienced in one's marriage and with one's children. What I also liked so much was Dr. Lindquist's comfort with self-disclosing her own marital and parental challenges as well as what worked for her. This makes for a very engaging and alive book. I loved this book. I plan to recommend it to my patients and friends. It can also be a great gift for a "baby shower". I'm glad that there is finally a book that is so useful and easy to read for couples coping with parenthood, and for parents wanting to protect and enhance their relationship.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Good Book, Good Ideas, February 23, 2006

By 

S. L. Myrick "Zuzi Reader" (Portland, OR United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Happily Married With Kids (Paperback)

I haven't completely finished this book but I'm close and I'm looking forward to it. I'll no doubt read it again and again. I only wish I/we had found it sooner. It is written in plain English and really hits the mark in terms of things we've been dealing with. It gives great information I've never seen anywhere else and which promises to be very helpful to us... who knew we might just be in a pretty normal phase. I think that piece of information alone could save thousands of marriages. Thank you Ms. Lindquist for writing this book - it's an easy enjoyable read and it gives me hope.

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book, January 19, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: Happily Married With Kids (Paperback)

As a wife of 10 years that is having her first baby, I feel fortunate to have the opportunity to read this book prior to our first child's birth. This book is easy to read and is written with wit while giving the reader excellent tips on how to keep your marriage healthy as well as keep yourself happy as a wife and mother. The author provides realistic suggestions for you to follow! This book is applicable to all stages of motherhood, and I highly recommend both the wife and husband reading it.