Happily Married With Kids: It's Not a Fairy Tale [Kindle Edition]

Carol Ummel Lindquist (Author)

Book Description

Happily Married With Kids shows what you can do to make your marriage better and grow closer to your spouse after the kids arrive. This book is engaging, fun and practical, and filled with easy-to-follow tips to help you learn how to:
* GROW even closer with your spouse
* LEARN to communicate, even to disagree affectionately
* CREATE warm, loving, reliable support networks
* BALANCE life, love, work and parenting
* REJUVENATE your sex life
* CELEBRATE your marriage as much as your kids

Are you having less sex, less fun and more arguments than you did before kids? The arrival of a newborn puts a tremendous strain on even the best marriages. Happily Married With Kids has steps you can take to work toward a warm, loving relationship with your spouse that will last a lifetime.

Editorial Reviews

Review

As a psychologist working both with couples and individuals ... practical and easy to read, even when  you have had an exhausting day with the kids ... focuses on solutions, recovery and repair. --Ira B. Poll, California

From the Author

My new book, Happily Married With Kids: It's Not A Fairy Tale, is a revised, updated edition of my first book. I have condensed the information, updated the references and added a chapter on dealing with tough economic times. As you read it, I hope you will laugh a little with me, nod in recognition and gain a clear vision of how a happy couple works and plays and even disagrees together as they grow closer.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• File Size: 952 KB
• Print Length: 259 pages
• Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0983130531
• Publisher: Granny Apple Publishing LLC; 2 edition (May 18, 2011)
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
• Language: English
• ASIN: B005BJ396M
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• X-Ray: Enabled
• Lending: Enabled
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #348,440 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Marriages Need Communication! September 7, 2011

By Elizabeth S.

Format:Paperback

So many couples experience culture shock once their children are born. Their lives turn upside down. Wives find that they do most of the diaper changes, feedings, and regular chores around the house. This leaves them to feel unappreciated and overworked. They wait until the last minute to ask for help from their husbands, usually leading them to yell in frustration. Husbands may feel inadequate in helping with the child, so they focus on what they can do best, working. They stress over whether they are providing enough monetarily, not realizing they need to provide emotionally as well. Neither of them are mind readers! Without proper communication, most marriages head toward demise.

Dr. Carol Lindquist, a therapist with thirty years of experience, strives to bridge the gaps between the husband and wife. Her book, Happily Married With Kids: It's Not a Fairy Tale gives couples the help they need. She guides couples to talk to each other, learn from each other, and keep their intimacy going in order to help their marriages grow.

She brings awareness that while having children is a blessing, it can also be taxing on the marriage. This is not the child's fault but rather how the adults handle the situations. Do they handle them together or do they try to do them alone without working as a team? To make a marriage work, communication needs to be open, listening needs to be instilled, and appreciation for each other should be an every day occurrence.

If your marriage on the outside seems perfect, but inside you know it needs help, don't shy away from asking for it. If you wait too long, it may be too late.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book! November 29, 2011

By Outsourced Content

Format:Paperback

While reading the book I was blown away by all the "ah-ha" moments I had. I kept talking to myself saying "wow, had I known that at the time I totally would have worded things so differently", instead of saying "take out the damn trash", "Why do you leave it on the flipping porch every damn morning" or "would it hurt you to change a flipping diaper once in a while" it would have been better accepted had I just asked Franc in a nice non-nagging way to "please take the trash out when you leave for work" or "can you help me by changing D's diaper". Carol talks a lot about how we as couples speak to our significant other in ways that we would never imagine talking to a friend or stranger. I think she makes an excellent point. I would never yell at a stranger that he's an incompetent trash remover (and that's toned down for my blog:), and I doubt Franc would tell his boss that he can't believe he's been in the office for x amount of time and hasn't done nothing to show for it. In the beginning we struggled a lot because I was not a stay at home mom. I worked and went to school. He worked long hours and did not understand that I was carrying a double load with work, school, and taking care of a new child plus dealing with jealousy issues with our oldest. It would have been nice to have a book like this then. Let's face it. When there's a new child involved we say things to our loved ones that we don't mean. Those little spur of the moment fits have real impact but not in a good way.

In Happily Married With Kids, Carol goes through many techniques for real marriages. There are the 5 stages of marriage, normal marriages-real problems, discussion on vacations and how to develop a plan with or without baby in tow. I really enjoyed the section on Living Together Happily During Tough Economic Times.... Since we're living in a country that is experiencing a drastic shift in our economy, and many couples are really struggling to pay the bills and find time for them, I think this chapter is priceless. Another section that I found helpful is Recognizing Helpful Conversation, this chapter talks about how to change the way you talk to your spouse so you're on equal playing ground. A spouse will respond much differently when you leave the accusations out of it and focus on what you really want to say without the negativity.

Pro's/Con's
Overall the book is great and I would definitely recommend it to new parents. My children are 9 & 12 but I still found spots in the book that were helpful to me. I did feel the book was written for new and existing parents with children under school age though. Carol does not talk about children and school issues which is a factor in marriages with school age children. I like how Carol discusses things that the couple can do for free, but I did feel that the author focused on middle class families a lot. She talks about hiring a maid to take pressure off of the family a lot. Families of low SES (social economic status) cannot hire a maid nor can they afford a counselor. It is true that a maid is cheaper than a counselor but neither is attainable in a SES family. They likely can check out books at the library or perhaps purchase a self help book. There is a lot of good information in Happily Married With Kids though, and even if you are not in a position to hire a counselor a self help book can help. Read more ›

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A great read for couples with Children November 11, 2011

By Starlight21194

Format:Paperback

When I was 17 I met the man I have been married to for the last 8 years. Yes this means that I married young, and with that also comes having children young, I though at least we will still be young enough to do things when the kids, grow up. Those were thoughts of a naive me. After 10 years together, and 3 children we were in the same place as many of my friends without realizing it. We were not making the time for each other and this would lead to one or the other feeling ignored. I wanted to be a great mom to my kids and make sure they knew I would always be there, but I forgot about my partner in all of it, and one day I realized we were doomed once the kids moved out, because we had become so much about the kids, and so little about each other.

I was so glad to have the chance to review Happily Married With Kids It's not a fairy Tale, because now I feel like we really have a connection. I don't feel were doomed to have nothing to talk about and will just grow apart. I can say I am a happily married women and more in love with my husband then I was before. Our relationship has improved because of what I learned in this book.

Would I buy this book? yes
Would I recommend this book to any couple with children? Yes it is a great read. Overall I am so glad to have read this book and will be telling all my friends.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Advice for New Parents August 9, 2011

By Sherry Ellis VINE™ VOICE

Format:Kindle Edition

Having a first child means big changes in a marriage. Many couples have ideas that a child is going to bring them closer together. The reality however, may be much different. In Happily Married With Kids, author Carol Ummel Lindquist, takes a candid look at some of the issues couples may face as they grow together as a family.

Topics discussed include dealing with sleep deprivation and new baby demands, sharing the work load of parenting and household chores, dealing with anger, setting goals, family vacations, holidays, and even surviving an affair. Dr. Lindquist provides bullet points of advice for dealing with each issue. Her advice on how to communicate respectfully is excellent and can be applied to any relationship.

Happily Married With Kids is a the perfect combination of advice and humor that will help couples navigate the ups and downs of parenthood while maintaining a loving relationship. I highly recommend it.

More About the Author

I'm a clinical psychologist, therapist and marriage counselor. To all who read this, I especially send you love and good luck improving and refining your relationships. Having a happy marriage is, I think, among the best gifts that you can give yourself, your spouse, your kids and everyone else around you!

My book, "Happily Married With Kids: It's Not a Fairy Tale," is a love note to my husband, Neil, who never read a self-help book in his life, until this one. Together we raised our two sons while I maintained my private practice in Laguna Beach. I am known for my work with high conflict couples and trauma therapy for individuals.

VERY EXCITED TO REPORT that I won About.com Reader's Choice Award: "Best Married Book 2012."

You can read more about my practice at http://www.cullagunabeach.com and also visit my blog at http://www.doctorcarol.com

I have always wanted to share what I have learned to a broader audience and a few years ago decided to write down what I learned in my practice and observed while raising our own kids. The new book is a revised, updated edition. Since things change so rapidly I am considering a new revision for 2014. I'll keep you posted.

If you read the book and find it helpful I would really appreciate if you would post a review on Amazon. Bloggers, if you like the book and have an idea for your blog, please contact me through one of my websites or call my publicist at 941-870-3422.

Here's more that my publicist wrote ...
"Don't wait until it's too late to save your relationship!" writes Jessica Drew de Paz, Psy. D., Laguna Beach. "Dr. Carol Lindquist is an expert in couples' therapy, and in this book she shares her wisdom with the masses. You will gain practical tools for navigating universal parenting stressors, and emerge a stronger, healthier, happier family for having read it."

For less than the cost of Happy Meals for the kids, Dr. Carol presents well-documented, simple-to-understand, practical advice that helps couples build warmer, happier and longer-lasting relationships. The new book is written for couples with children, but offers practical, universal advice that would benefit all couples. It's a perfect gift, too, to express to your spouse how much you love them because you want your relationship to be the best it can be, now and forever.

The new edition is pared down to the essentials and "a must-have and should be required reading to accompany a marriage license as well as a birth certificate," said Laurie Parker of Temecula, California.