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Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill

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Review of "Happiness: A guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill" by Matthieu Ricard. Published by Little Brown.


What a joy to find such an intelligent and creative approach to the universal quest for happiness and well-being! Matthieu Ricard begins by examining our definitions of happiness and then leads us on a journey that explores the causes and conditions for happiness, our own inner mechanisms that do or don't create happiness, how to deal with death and difficulties, the sociology of happiness, and so on.

The book's emphasis is on how to develop inner resources for a sense of happiness and fulfillment that is not dependent on outer circumstances. There is real freedom in the knowledge that we can move towards an authentic sense of well-being by working with our ways of relating and processing the obstacles and circumstances that present themselves. This is all helped along by the short enjoyable exercises that lead the reader through a process of getting to know the mind and how it works.

Matthieu Ricard's voice is quite unique and I liked his use of metaphor to describe various emotional states and how to deal with them. I also found the sociology of happiness an interesting chapter, revealing the trends of our society, and I especially liked learning "first-hand about the work of neuroscience and the brain.

Few books clearly articulate the richness of Buddhist psychology for the general reader. Few books can inspire the reader to live more skillfully and empower her with teachings and tools to cultivate true happiness. Sure there are any number of "self-help" books on "how to feel happy," etc., but Ricard's book teaches about a much deeper, transformative happiness, which is within the reach of every human being.

Buddhist psychology, developed over many centuries, is consistent with much that we have recently learned and continue to learn about our minds and our brains from neuroscience, cognitive science, and "western" psychology. Ricard, a Tibetan monk, is equally at home in Buddhist teachings and contemporary science--he was a scientist before his days as a monk.

In a world with so much violence, so much sadness, and so much negativity, Ricard teaches us how to cultivate happiness, not by blinding ourselves to reality or by looking to some other world above and beyond our own, but by looking upon ourselves and others with the loving eyes of the Buddha. And these teachings have nothing to do with believing any doctrines or even "the truth" of Buddhism. They are practical teachings to be applied in everyday life. The "truth" is in the practice. The Buddha did not want anyone to believe anything just because he said it. He invited people to see for themselves. So see for yourself.

Even if you are not and have no interest in "becoming a Buddhist," I highly recommend this book. I would not consider myself a Buddhist, but the values expressed by Ricard are values I cherish and aspire to embody in my day to day life.

The chapters are also relatively short, so each one can be read and fully digested before moving to the next. (Perfect for reading in bed or on public transportation.)

If taken to heart, this book will surely benefit you. I hope that it does.

I think a lot of the other reviews clearly explain why this is a wonderful book. It definitely has added a lot of perspective to my outlook on things. I believe as Ricard explains, that tweaks to the way we think and our attitude will definitely foster happier thoughts in our minds. There are some very memorable thoughts from this book - the one I liked most was the fact that happiness can never be based on external circumstances for they are fleeting. A loss of a loved one or a job can plunge a man from happiness to despair and darkness in an instant. If like Ricard, you believe that happiness can be a permanent state of mind, it has to be on the inside and all ephemeral, external circumstances will flutter the mind like lines written on water.

But there are limitations and not-so-great things about the book which could have been improved.

- Too much quoting philosophers and famous people
Almost every chapter is filled with various philosopher's take on things like happiness, emotions etc. I was more interested in Ricard's own experience and his Gurus' opinions (which were also there at places) rather than a big collection of differing thoughts of other philosophers.

- Lack of explanation on 'how to do'
There is a clear lack of explanation of how to deal practically with the issues Ricard brings up. His theory that negative thoughts like hatred need antidotes like patience is great, but there is not much detail on how to cultivate them. Ricard says the solution is meditation, but how and what to exactly meditate on is short in content.
A recurring theme is that when say, you are very angry, look at the anger itself without attaching it to the target of the anger and meditate, and it will melt away. Look at the emotion itself without the object it is related to and it will melt away like 'snow under the sun'.
It sounds good to read but I find it tough to implement. While one is meditating, how is it possible to 'look' at something without giving it an image or a mental picture? How to 'look' at an abstract entity is mentioned nowhere in the book. Maybe it comes naturally to advanced spiritual practitioners, but for a layman like me, I need more explanation on how to do these things than just a vague paragraph and impressive metaphors.

In spite of these limitations, I found it an enlightening book to read.

Matthieu Ricard was born and raised in France. He had the makings of a stellar career in science, studying in his student days with a Nobel-prize winning scientist. But throughout his 20's, he shifted his interests more and more towards spirituality. For the past 30 years, he has lived and studied as a Tibetan Buddhist, in Nepal. He often serves as the French translator for the Dalai Llama.

Ricard is a man who knows science. And, as a Frenchman, is deeply familiar with pessimism. He says, in France, happiness is considered boring, while pessimism and misery is considered quite interesting. "Happiness is only for the naive" is a common Western mindset. However, Ricard says: "Not true."

Not only is happiness interesting - it is a skill, a challenging skill to be acquired only through intense practice. Pessimism, on the other hand, is boring - for it creates apathy, and a general lack of zest for life.

As a man deeply interested in science, Ricard knows what he's talking about. He explains amazing discoveries made by the Mind & Life Institute. Placed under MRI brain imaging, Tibetan monks have shown to experience far greater happiness and are more emotionally balanced than any 'average' person. Scientists can gauge happiness by the amount of activity in the frontal lobe related to positive emotions. (There's also a section of the brain related to negative emotion, and criticism, which remains relatively dormant.)

In one experiment, testing what's called a "startle" reflex - something that every human has (it's an uncontrolled flinch of one's facial muscles that occurs whenever a loud noise goes off) - a spiritually advanced monk was monitored for this reflex. When the loud noise went off, unlike anyone else ever tested, he did NOT flinch. The heart rate still went up, but the fear and flinch reflex were less apparent than in any experiment to date. Meaning: there is scientific proof that meditation grants a person peace of mind.

This feat is accomplished through a sort of mind jujitsu - a way of keeping one's thoughts in balance. And one can accomplish it through egolessness and unattachment. Not that Ricard promotes sitting on a mat, and meditating all day. He promotes ambition, a strong willingness to help others, and a general enthusiasm in taking up various activities. But acquiring emotional equilibrium can be difficult, but ultimately rewards the person who practices it. This discipline, Ricard explains, is the "secret" to life-long happiness.

Here is an example of a message that I received from a friend who read Happiness...
"I'm flying. The two big things for me have been: While I know I'm a responsible person toward my friends and people I interact with, I hadn't recognized how much I had emotionally blocked out other people in general and the effect it was having on my mind. From a purely selfish perspective, I now see that the more I focus on empathizing with people who I have no connection with, the calmer and clearer my mind is and the happier I am. I didn't recognize the price I was paying for not wanting to empathize with people who don't have a direct bearing on my life.

Secondly, I hadn't really conceptualized the difference between pleasure and happiness. Upon reading it in Ricard's book, it was immediately apparent to me and I realize how much my emphasis on the former at the expense of the latter has been a mistake. I think I viewed emotionally being engaged with strangers and people "out there" in general as a distraction and waste of time, at best, but hadn't realized that all the time I was engaging with them, albeit in a negative way.

Guy, between 'The Joy of Living, Unlocking the Secrets and Science' and "Happiness" I'm now in a total blissed-out state. A couple of the things I've realized is that in terms of my own sustained happiness it's in my strong self-interest to try to be more compassionate toward people. Just starting to think that way has allowed me to exorcise a lot of petty conflicts and tensions that unnecessarily clutter my mind. I am so much calmer now. "

This book is VERY well worth reading. It is a must read for anyone who wants to reach beyond their material goals, and realizes that the underlying goal is happiness. It is written in a clear manner that seems to resonate with many readers.

Matthieu Ricard's subtitle reveals his premise - that 'achieving durable happiness as a way of being is a skill' (page 7). Although some people are happier than others, he notes, such happiness is not durable and complete.

How then is the skill of durable happiness achieved? Ricard - a Buddhist monk and both monk and son in the popular book The Monk and the Philosopher: A Father and Son Discuss the Meaning of Life - advocates ongoing mind training and the development of qualities including inner peace, altruistic love and mindfulness.

But this is not a Buddhist book so much as 'Buddhist in spirit' (page 14). It's written for 'anyone who aspires to a little more joie de vivre and to let wisdom and compassion reign in his or her life' (page 15).

As such, the book synthesizes ancient Buddhist wisdom with current research findings to offer a happiness program built on spiritual awareness, scientific knowledge and simple exercises. It explores conditions that support happiness - like a deep sense of wellbeing, wisdom, and love for fellow beings - and those that undermine it - including ignorance, mental toxins and disturbing emotions like desire, hatred and envy. In this way, it leads readers away from a life built on grasping for pleasure and self-absorption toward one of contentment and altruism.

In short:

Ricard's approach to cultivating happiness is deep but wonderfully wide-ranging. It takes findings from neuroscience, psychology, positive psychology, sociology and economics and ideas from philosophy and ethics, and presents them through a prism of ancient Buddhist wisdom. The result is a gentle, wise and motivating guide to happiness that spans suffering, death, emotions, time and ego.

Please note that all of Ricard's share in the book's proceeds go to humanitarian and educational projects in Tibet, Nepal, India and Bhutan.

This is just a footnote to the other reviews, especially the one that wants more of the "how" to implement the author's suggestions.
Ricard is one of the finest students of one of the finest teachers of the Tibetan tradition as is, for example, the very popular author Pema Chödrön.
Chödrön's books and "Happiness" by Ricard share the same characteristic: they make great inspirational reading BUT in the absence of a regular meditative discipline they remain only that.
There is a great abundance of excellent books (which by the way are not enough on their own), and there are even quite a lot of excellent teachers, who can guide one with regard to that regular practice.
Of course what "practice" is is something that must be investigated by you yourself. The many exercises found throughout Ricard's book, if assiduously undertaken, are material enough for a thorough familiarization with practice as I understand it.
I wish you the very best in your quest,
Richard Wrigley.

This is an amazing book. The minute I finished, I started over again. This book is about the pathways to happiness as understood and explained by a Buddhist monk (Ricard). Ricard's explanations and insights are extremely valuable and practical. Even more, Ricard has consulted all the leading research associated with the "science of happiness."

This book is for anyone who believes that happiness is a learned behavior that requires daily practice. Its greatest strengths are its clearity, practical applications, and scientific base. It is a very rational approach to the subject of well-being. Plus, Ricard consults the leaders in the positive psychology movement-- a very good move.

Read this book if you truly want to be happier.

[...]

A few days after finishing "Happiness" I ran into author Matthieu Ricard. The art school at which I study is in the same building as his office at Shechen Monastery, so it's not all that unusual to pass him in the hall or on the stairs. I said that I wanted to thank him for his recording of his most recent book, "Happiness." He smiled and shrugged and replied in a self-effacing manner that I must have been bored listening to it.

Honestly, I told him, I found it quite engaging. Marketed as an audio book, the 2-CD, 160 minute recording sounds more relaxed and informal than a reading, as if Ricard were speaking to you over a pot of tea. Highlighted by stories of his travels across the world with the Dalai Lama, whom he serves as his official French interpreter, as well as numerous insights from his study of science and Buddhist literature, Ricard has a simple message, that happiness is not what you own, not your job, not your spouse or family, not your one month summer vacation, nor your collection of rare antiques. Happiness is a state of mind.

We know this is true, he points out, because of the miserable people in the world who by modern standards should be incredibly happy. They have immense wealth, exciting jobs, freedom to come and go as they please, the power to attract desirable spouses. And yet they are unhappy. Conversely, we know people living under very adverse circumstances able to maintain a sense of well-being and equanimity. It is therefore not external conditions that produce happiness, Ricard concludes, but our inner translation of the external experience. In other words, our way of viewing the world makes us happy, or not.

The good news for those that are unhappy, and even those who aren't, is that we're not stuck with the way we view our world. Ricard presents a few simple examples of Buddhist techniques for managing anger, jealousy, and desire, techniques that in no way require one to become a Buddhist or believe in Buddhist precepts. When we get angry, for example, we practice to disassociate from the experience, to see anger as not belonging to the self, not as an expression of self, but as a process happening to the self. In this way we cut off anger from its fuel and render it harmless. (Later on, you might practice by remembering that there is in fact no self, only thoughts, feelings, awareness, will, and form.)

In working with the mind we gradually begin the process of transforming ourselves, of uncovering our potential for true happiness, which Ricard defines as ...

"...a way of being that can suffuse all emotional states and help us preserve our balance, our sense of meaning, our desire to live, and give us the resources to deal with the ups and downs of life. It is a way of life less vulnerable to outer circumstances because of its depth and ability to withstand surface conditions."

In realizing this state of happiness, we make the world a better place. And that's not only because we reduce the number of miserable people negatively influencing others. It's primarily because the characteristics of genuine happiness, of genuine well-being, are compassion, empathy, and benevolence. Selfish happiness, the excessive concern for oneself, is not only a magnet for dissatisfaction and suffering, it is, Ricard says, entirely contradictory.

This 2-cd set would make a wonderful gift for nearly anyone, especially those going through a rather rough spell in life. It might help to remind them that feelings are just feelings, something we can look at dispassionately and learn to manage, rather than letting them manage us.

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It is rare that I would read a book more than once (except when studying for exams decades ago), this is one of them & I'm keen to do so. By beautifully integrating wisdom from scientific, philosophical, & religious perspectives, Ricard has not simply offered me enlightening insight about what happiness is about, he also illustrated how one could lead a fulfilling & compassionate life. I look forward to learn more from Ricard, practice his advice, & lead my mind to where serenity resides.