Customer Reviews

The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living

5 star:		(39)
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3 star:		(1)
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I don't generally like books with happiness in the title. They tend to be trying to tell me how I can be happy, or otherwise they're so vague and new-age that I wonder whether the author is for real. This book was very different.

This book is practical, very well written, and genuine in its approach. It doesn't make grandiose claims. Instead, it is based on a very solid theoretical and empirical foundation, yet it doesn't get caught up in unnecessary jargon. It's also a great example of how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can be applied to every day life. The importance it places on living a life that you value is excellent, and avoids many of the pitfalls of the contemporary cultural assumption that happiness (or lack of unhappiness) is the goal of self-help/life.

People who will find this book most helpful:
- Anyone who suffers from depression or anxiety
- Anyone who wants to be happy, but always fails to achieve it
- Anyone who wants to learn about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
- Anyone who struggles with their thoughts/thinks too much.
- Anyone who's seeking to grow

According to the Declaration of Independence, the "pursuit of happiness" is one of our "inalienable rights." As Russ Harris masterfully points out in this book, however, the pursuit of values over the long haul, rather than happiness, is more likely to lead to a full and meaningful life. The overall approach within the book is based upon acceptance and commitment therapy or ACT, which has increasingly been shown to be helpful in alleviating a wide range of human suffering. Rather than being a stodgy, stuffy presentation of ACT (and believe me, having written some of those myself - I know one when I see one!), the book reads more like a series of short stories which Dr. Harris presents in a conversational and engaging style to ilustrate how all of us can adopt a more kind and compassionate approach to our struggles with self-doubts, unwanted emotions, and worrisome thoughts. Indeed, the book could have just as easily been entitled "ACT for Dummies" not because it oversimplifies the approach, but because it makes it so accessible, understandable, and easy to apply. If you've heard about ACT and would like to know more about it, or have never heard of it, but want to check out what all the fuss is about, this is the place to start. I highly recommend the book to not only those of us who have fallen into the "happiness trap," but also to our friends, loved ones, and mental health professionals who have tried to liberate us from it. It can be usefully read and applied by itself or as an introduction to ACT before moving on to workbooks in the area such as "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life." Don't wait for the movie!

I recommend this book to all my clients and colleagues. In a very accessible and captivating way, Dr Russ Harris made us understand how our mind can sometimes be an enemy to living a rich, vital and meaningful life. The book is full of EFFECTIVE, evidence-based strategies to effectively respond to our distressing emotions, thus reducing their impact on us. It also gives us strategies to disentangle ourselves from self-defeating thoughts. As we are able to free ourselves from the impact of unhelpful thoughts and feelings, we stop figthing them, and can invest our energy in living our life. As I read the book, I realize that life is not about having happy, pleasant thoughts and feelings. It is about living a meaningful life consistent with our values. The Acceptance and Commitment Therapy gives us the needed tools to just do that: FREE ourselves from our MIND and have the energy to live a meaningful life.
The Happiness Trappy is the most accessible, easiest to understand book on ACT therapy. It is the first book I recommend you to read on ACT. And if you become passionate about ACT like me, you can continue with many other fantastic and helpful books on ACT by other authors.
Dung Nguyen, Psychologist, Adelaide, Australia

It took me a long time to get through this book. I had it sitting on the shelf amongst several other self-help titles, and when I reached certain portions of the book I found myself bored or disinterested in taking the kind of actions suggested, so I moved to another title. I later realized that by doing so I was exercising my own 'control strategies' as Russ puts it, which really didn't do anything to help me live a rich and fulfilling life.

Aware of this trend, I decided to read the book right to the end without worrying too much about doing the exercises. I just completed it the other day, and have now rid myself of most self-help books and products, dedicated rather to something that works - acceptance, mindfulness, and living according to my values. I had bought into the values of others, and with the help of Russ and others am now slowly moving towards my own values. At the same time, I have a set of tools to help me deal with the anxiety that is keeping me from living a fulfilling life.

As someone who is a practicing therapist, I have been intrigued by Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for some time now. I tried to read Dr. Steven Hayes' book "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy", but it seemed very dense and difficult to understand. I tried the various books by New Harbinger Press on ACT therapy and while they were useful, I still was unsure I understood ACT properly.

Then came Dr. Russ Harris' "The Happiness Trap"...

What a joy it was for me to read this book! Dr. Harris has the rare ability to explain difficult concepts in a very straight-forward way. Now I can finally say with conviction that I know and understand ACT therapy thanks to Dr. Harris and this book. However, you don't have to be a mental health professional to read and appreciate this book. In fact, the book seems to have been written for non-professionals because there are no psychological terms in this book. Instead, you will get clearly written and easy to understand concepts that are both empowering and insightful. I highly recommend this book to both the layperson who is trying to live a more valued and meaningful life and my mental health brethren who, like me, have been trying to understand ACT, but to no avail. Remarkably, "The Happiness Trap" is the answer to both groups.

My jargon/headache-free gateway to the delights of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) was The Happiness Trap by Dr Russ Harris. Before reading The Happiness Trap, I knew of ACT as some framework to do with values and mindfulness but the language was all a bit foreign to me and I wasn't enticed to delve into it. I read The Happiness Trap in one sitting, disobeying all the suggestions to not rush, because I couldn't put it down. There are these irresistible little carrots dangling at the end of each chapter, snippets about what's coming next, making it compulsively readable. By the time I got to the end I had thoroughly defaced it, underlining all the good bits, all the bits that resonated with me and articulated the suspicions I had about traditional Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and an agenda of control. Reading it I laughed, I cried, I changed. I felt awakened and freed. And I was hungry to know more. It would be no exaggeration to say I could divide my life professionally and personally into Before The Happiness Trap and After The Happiness Trap. Moreover it prepared me for and eased me into the more technical writing about ACT and Relational Frame Theory (RFT) on which ACT is based. An extra special thing about The Happiness Trap is the use of a conversational and interactive writing style. It was as though I was engaging with a therapist through the pages of the book, a therapist who walked me with kindness and gentleness and empathy through the processes and techniques and having some fun along the way. The Happiness Trap is the recommended reading for clients at my psychology practice as I am confident that anyone who is literate can absorb its contents, `get' ACT first time around and be empowered to create their own ACT toolkit for living well.

You will always have negatve thoughts and bad feelings. That's just the way life is. The key is not to struggle against these feelings or to try to make them go away, but to accept them and "make room for them", as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) teaches. This is a liberating thought: to accept that everyone will always and for all eternity have negative feelings and emotions. This does not make you abnormal or weak - it makes you human. Russ Harris writes crisply and clearly in the Happiness Trap, as he takes the reader through the basic philosphy of ACT and demonstrates how it is applied. His approach is true to his teachings, as he encourages the reader not believe ACT becuase he says so, but to use it if it works. A major lesson from ACT is that to create a meaningful life, people should be value-driven as opposed to goal-driven. Goals are events that are over when completed; values stay with us always. We can choose to live by our values at any time, and do not have to wait for a particular goal to be achieved. This is why some people are very happy despite not having the conventional trappings of success. They can live humbly, for example, and live by the value of providing for their family, in the present moment, rather than waiting to feel happy until they have acheived some "magazine cover" mansion and Rolls Royce success. ACT is very similar to Psychology of Mind (thoughts are just words) but uses this as a building block towards a more flexible personal psychology. This is one book that I will definitely re-read to extract maximum benefit.

A beautifully written, clear, and concise ACT book. "The Happiness Trap" is not only useful as a self-help book, but it is also a fantastic book for clinicians who want an easy to read, complete summary of ACT. Russ manages to captivate his audience so that you really must keep reading until the end!

This book is great for anyone wanting mindfulness skills to handle problems, such as anxiety, depression, grief or any other mind-traps we get ourselves in. It explains concepts really well and encourages you to try the easy-to-follow exercises ... initially in not getting caught up in your negative thinking cycles, then in helping you to clarify your life direction, by getting to know your personal values (similar to goals, but more generaly, like where you want your life to head).

I found the metaphores and explanations particularly helpful, giving imagery to describe our 'struggles' with emotions we would prefer to avoid ... and how this struggle actually gets us more caught up in the painful emotion. Very closely linked with meditation - accepting the things we can't change, while also motivating you to set goals around things you value in life.

A refreshing book and easily accessible. I would highly recommend this.

There are lots of books on happiness. This book is different. In a simple and intensely practical way, Russ shows us what stands in the way of vital happiness, the kind of happiness that comes from living out our dreams.

With a gentle hand, he walks us through the path out of the happiness rat race, and then puts us squarely in contact with skills that can nurture lasting happiness. By this I mean the joy that comes about as we step in life directions that we cherish and hold dear. The book offers no cheap fixes, no false promises. It is full of real, down-to-earth suggestions and activities that build upon a new evidence based approach called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

I am glad that this book was written. The message is timeless, deeply personal, and relevant to all of us. Thank you Russ for this gift. Many will benefit from its message and teachings. After all, we all struggle and deeply want to create a life that is whole, dignified, and meaningful. This is the root of lasting happiness, and a sensibility that has been lost in our culture of feelgoodism and happiness chasing.

This book reminded me of what matters in this one, precious, and infinitely changing life. Thank you.

Dr. John P. Forsyth
Author of "The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety: A Guide to Breaking Free from Anxiety, Phobias, and Worry Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy," "Act on Life Not on Anger: The New Acceptance & Commitment Therapy Guide to Problem Anger," and "Acceptance & Commitment Therapy for Anxiety Disorders: A Practitioner's Treatment Guide to Using Mindfulness, Acceptance, And Values-Based Behavior Change Strategies."