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46 of 46 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
A happy read, November 6, 2008
This review is from: Happy at Last: The Thinking Person's Guide to Finding Joy (Hardcover)
About: Psychotherapist O'Connor gives an overview of human happiness and provides reasons why folks are unhappy and as well as exercises that can bring upon a happier mindset. He identifies three causes of misery: Contemporary insanity is the stuff that the modern world requires of us like the 50 hour work week and other forms of stress; innate foolishness is the false ingrained beliefs such as getting what we want will make us happy; finally, unnecessary misery comes from our emotions or defense mechanism such as denial. 40% of happiness is in your direct control with 50% being genetically determined and 10% due to external causes like health or employment. In order to makes that 40% the happiest it can be, he provides techniques involving things like gratitude, mindfulness, and meditation that will rewire your brain so you can be a happier you.
Some Interesting Things I Learned:
* A big cause of unhappiness is comparing ourselves to other people, we always want to be better and have more than the other guy but even if we get that, it won't make us happy.
* People like things more if they end on a high note.
* People regret not doing things more than they regret the things they did, even if what they did wasn't all that great.
* Losing something hurts more than gaining something gives us pleasure.
* There's twice the chance a kid of divorced parents will need mental health services than one from an intact family.
* In the last 10 years, types of Pop-Tarts has grown from 3 to 29 and Lay's Chips from 10 to 78.
* The more television you watch, the less happy you become.
* People who watch less than two hours of television a day enjoy it more than those who four or more hours.
* Olympic bronze medalists are happier than silver medalists (they think how close they were to not medaling as opposed to thinking how close they were to winning)
Pros: Engaging, interesting read. Good intro. Several "Do's" and "Don'ts"asides provide quick tips like "don't do anything you wouldn't tell your mother, God or children about" and "do take all of your vacation time." Sources cited, further reading list provided. Provided exercises are handy. Also covers happiness in relationships. Wonderful concluding chapter that provides a summary of the topics of the book as well as techniques one can use to stay happy. So if you see this book in the bookstore, skip to the last chapter if you want the Cliff's Notes.
Cons: Underlining of certain words and phrases is distracting. Gets into a sort of a polemic on the ills of modern society in one section and on how current parents aren't good parents in another. All the stuff on mindfulness is a bit too much.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Want to Raise Your Happiness Set-Point? This Is the One to Read, March 7, 2009
This review is from: Happy at Last: The Thinking Person's Guide to Finding Joy (Hardcover)
Happy at Last is not like most of the other "happy" books out there that try to tell you it's easy to "get" happy. Dr. O'Connor describes the work that has to be done to change your happiness set-point so you can "stay" happier. I like that he covers the many traps along the way.
The writing is comfortable, enjoyable to read. The book is thoroughly researched, not just "conversations" with a hundred happy people and another hundred who are unhappy. O'Connor explains the research studies and also uses his experience from working with his own patients. His exercises show us to rebuild and rewire our brains in a clear, often humorous writing style. I have read many other happiness books; this one is indeed a happy find.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
From Eeyore to Tigger in 320 pages, January 1, 2010
As both a sufferer of intermittent depression, and as a primary care physician that frequently treats depression, I read Richard O'Connor's Happy at Last with a high level of interest, considerable anticipation, and a bit of skepticism. Verdict? Two thumbs up!
To be fair, Dr. O'Connor does not offer to transform moaning Eeyores into bouncy Tiggers. What he does do is draw on current neurological research, as well as contemporary trends in psychology, steeps the mix in common sense, throws in a bit of wisdom, and comes up with this message: lack of happiness is something one can most definitely do something about.
The book is a bit of a shotgun blast, incorporating the work of some contemporary psychologists, some relatively recent information about how our brains respond to training by becoming physically altered, making some demands that we agree to WORK at being happy, challenging the reader to drop old habits and make some new ones, meanwhile taking some serious and effective swipes at the psychological and physical toxicity of the American consumerist social addictions. Throw in a bit of Buddhism, a demand that you become socially involved in your community, a plea to pay more attention to one's family members and one's friends, an exhortation to pick up new skills such as music, arts, or literary skills, and a suggestion that one search for opportunities to do good deeds, and one ends up feeling a bit like O'Connor is talking about each of us becoming a Renaissance Man or a devout monk (or both!) in order to be happier. For good measure, O'Connor spends not a little time lambasting capitalism and it's exploitation of the human spirit. I kind of enjoyed that last part, though it will earn O'Connor no points with the captains of industry.
With that on the table, I'd like to say that what is invaluable about O'Connor's approach is that it is a call to move from passive suffering to an active approach to achieving a meaningful and frequently enjoyable life. Though I found his "to do" list a bit overwhelming, the book is chock full of very practical suggestions about how to move from a helpless sense of unhappiness to a much more frequently experienced sense of satisfaction and contentment. The last time I had to personally seek treatment for depression was about fifteen years ago, and the techniques that I used to avoid a return to severe depression are all contained in Happy at Last. I had to discover those techniques myself; it would have saved me much time and energy to have read this book many years ago. If you are unhappy, Happy at Last will point you in the right direction, utilizing clinically tested and effective techniques to aid you. I doubt that you'll be dancing on tabletops when you finish the suggested exercises that O'Connor proposes, but I have no doubt whatsoever that you'll move away from misery and toward happiness if you take O'Connor's information to heart, and begin working on it. Nothing to lose, much to be gained: if you wish to move toward being happier than you currently are, this book is an excellent travel companion for the journey.
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