Customer Reviews

The Happy Room

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Having graduated from the same missionary boarding school as Palmer, but over a decade later (I think), our experiences were quite different. Although we still ate from metal trays in the 1980's, there were neither metal fragments or worms in our cafeteria meals. This barely fictional account vividly describes the wonder and beauty some of us found as children in Africa, while candidly portraying the inner conflict felt by many missionaries and their children as a balance is sought between "God's work" and what is best for the family.

Perhaps in part because I entered boarding school as a teenager and not a small child, I never felt the abandonment the characters in this book describe, but I had friends and siblings whose memories are not as warm as mine and who struggled for years to come to terms with being "sent away".

This book will touch raw nerves for many involved with missions and that will be a good thing if it opens eyes and hearts to the often unspoken needs and hidden pain of missionary children. As a public school teacher in the U.S., I see many children in pain and with difficult or even awful lives, but missionary children are sometimes the last ones to show their pain because it's so important to put on a happy face.

I could go on and on...obviously this book moved me deeply. The only reason I did not give 5 stars was that I hope people don't think that the school represented by "KCA" in the book is the way Palmer describes it. If it ever was that bad, it changed long ago. For a thorough history of the school, Rift Valley Academy, see "School in the Clouds," by Phil Dow, another alumnus.

As the son of missionary parents, I related to this authentic story line. This book could become the catalyst for mending thousands of strained family relationships. The author boldly squares with the hard, and sometimes painful, truth of the past while developing the important relationships that give us hope for the future. The story underscores the fact that there is a way to to turn the many memories of life as a missionary kid into a rich and treasured heritage while offloading the guilt, blame, and resentment that often cloud our joy. I liked it because I lived it.

This book is inspired. Catherine Palmer wrote this book from the heart. It is quite different from much Christian fiction in that it offers no simple answers other than showing the human need for faith in the divine. The main characters in this book are the adult children of missionary parents. The children struggle with the concept that they felt abandoned by their parents while the parents were following their own 'calling from God.' The children grow up with a mixture of faith, anger, and resentment, trying to make their own way in the adult world of the US that is so foreign to the Africa where they grew up. In the end, the children and parents come to some understanding of each other, but there are significant difficulties that remain. They learn to accept the human failings of each other. They grow in their faith, but their faith does not protect them from earthly struggles. I am a clinical psychologist and my patients frequently discuss spiritual crises. I am frequently recommending this book because of its honesty.

The Happy Room captures the contradictions and confusions which children of missionaries often, if not usually, experience both as children and adults. As the daughter, granddaughter and sister of missionaries, I am thrilled to see this material dealt with in a novel. Often more truth can be told in fiction than in straight biography. This cogent work hits the issues, from abandonment to spiritualization of feelings, with honesty, insight, grace and balance.
A few years ago I read The Poisonwood Bible with hope that it would deal with the psychological effects of the Missionary Kid (MK) experience. But it was written by an observer, not one who lived it, and while it was a fascinating novel, it seemed to me to be a distortion of missionary life. The Happy Room is an accurate portrate. The Happy Room will be on the psychologist's, counselor's, pastor's, and hopefully even the missions professor's bookshelf, not to mention that of every MK who is fortunate enough to include it in his or her journey.
I recommend this book to young people feeling "called" to the mission field, and to their mentors, professors, and pastors. I recommend it to any frined, spouse, or grown child of a "Third Culture Kid." I recommend it to all TCK's with one foot in each of two cultures and at home in neither; to all ACM's (Adult Children of Missionaries) especially when the reason given was "doing God's will." I recommend it for discussion in support groups, 12 step groups, and Bible Studies. I recommend it to ponder, laugh and cry over in private.
Thank you, Catherine, thank you for telling our story!

Though Catherine Palmer is a versatile and talented author, she shines with stunning brightness when writing contemporary fiction. The plot and characters in The Happy Room will not only grip you, but will make you think long and hard about what "doing God's will" means, particularly if you are a parent. Though MKs (missionary kids) may relate most closely to this story, this non-MK found The Happy Room a compelling read. I urge you to read the book for yourself!

I really, really liked this book. One reason was that I read so many Christian fiction books that are...well, entertaining, but not very meaningful. And a lot of them are just too much alike. This book addressed issues that don't come up in a lot of christian novels. It was so interesting to look at missionary kids' lives in such a different way. I loved the characters, and how real they were...esp. that they struggled so much even though they were Christians. I loved the message that being a Christian doesn't mean life is easy, or that we have to pretend we have it all figured out. I recommend this to everyone!

As an MK (missionary kid) caregiver who raised a family overseas, I found this book compelling. Some may be offended, viewing it as a smear of boarding schools, but I found it to be less about boarding school, and more about how children and their parents communicate, or fail to communicate.
As a parent, this book challenged me to listen to my children, not telling them what to think, but giving them the freedom to be honest and listening to the message behind their words. I would recommend this book to missionary parents as a thought-provoking read.

I really liked this book. I grew up as an MK so I could relate to a lot of what the characters felt and were going through. And the things I couldn't relate to, I could at least understand where they were coming from. Very thought-provoking.

This a very good story which brought me to laughter and tears and I thank Catherine Palmer for writing it. (I was not an M.K., but there was enough done to the kids in the church I grew up in "in the name of God" so that I did run away when I was 15). There are millions of us out there and we all could get some comfort and joy and healing out of this book. (There's none so deaf as he who will not hear; nor none so blind as he who will not see. If any of the reviewers here scorn this book, perhaps they fall into that category?) Many, many children (and sometimes their mothers as well) have been neglected and abused all "in the name of God." (Not necessarily intentionally...the men who commanded that kind of obedience honestly believed they were doing God's will.) I did not find God after that... I'd been taught that I would die and go to hell if I didn't belong to that church. I was a kid. I believed it. But God found ME. He did not abandon me. I've given a lot of thought to writing about what people do to kids "in the name of God", but I never have, and was gratified to find this book. Thank you, Catherine. I agree with Francine Rivers.

Good book, I had to read it for a class. I'm a third culture kid myself, and could definitely relate to what these kids were feeling.