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The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do"
 
 
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The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do" [Paperback]

Susan Piver (Author)
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (60 customer reviews)


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Book Description

Thought-provoking questions that challenge and inspire couples to build a lasting, intimate relationship.

When Susan Piver's husband, Duncan, proposed, her first impulse was to break up with him. "How does one enter into marriage knowing that almost half of all couples these days get divorced?" she thought in a panic. "Suppose he wants to live somewhere I hate? What if I wish we had ten times more money than he wishes for, or he wants to spend more time with his family than I do?"

One by one, she and Duncan answered these questions and many more, alternately delighted, appalled, infuriated, and mystified by the other's responses. In exploring each area of uncertainty, Piver learned something about her husband-to-be, herself, and their relationship. Focusing on key areas of married life, such as home, money, work, sex, community and friends, family, and spirituality, her list of questions became the basis for this book.

The Hard Questions should be required reading for engaged couples, newlyweds, and those in long-term relationships. It is a simple yet profound tool that will challenge and inspire couples to gain a deeper understanding of each other and build a lasting, intimate relationship.

"This book of hard questions and exercises for couples is innovative and exciting." --Andrew Weil, M.D.

"Susan Piver is a deeply intuitive and innovative thinker. She has both tenderness and acuity regarding what concerns us. I could not recommend her more highly." --Julia Cameron


Editorial Reviews

Review

...a nice antidote to insta-match TV-reality shows like The Bachelorette. -- Time Magazine, March 10, 2003

About the Author

Susan Piver owns Padma Projects, a company that produces CD/Books for people interested in spirituality and health. She has worked with authors Thomas Moore, Andrew Weil and Celia Straus.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 112 pages
  • Publisher: Tarcher (May 4, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1585420042
  • ISBN-13: 978-1585420049
  • Product Dimensions: 6.9 x 4.9 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (60 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #519,382 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Susan Piver is the New York Times bestselling author of six books, including The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do" and the award-winning How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life, chosen as best spiritual book of 2007 by Books for a Better Life.

Piver teaches internationally on love, creativity, meditation, and spirituality for actual humans with relationships, jobs, deep yearnings, depressions, triumphs, bad hair days, and a multitude of ridiculously petty grievances. She teaches from personal experience.

Piver has been a practicing Buddhist since 1995 and graduated from a Buddhist seminary in 2004.

Her new book is The Wisdom of a Broken Heart: An Uncommon Guide to Healing, Insight, and Love, published by Simon and Schuster in January 2010.

Piver has written for Body and Soul, SELF, Oprah magazine, Buddhadharma, and the Shambhala Sun and is regularly featured in the media, including appearances on Oprah, Today, The Tyra Banks show, CNN, and in USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, Time, Money, and others.

For more information, visit susanpiver.com.


 

Customer Reviews

60 Reviews
5 star:
 (24)
4 star:
 (15)
3 star:
 (9)
2 star:
 (6)
1 star:
 (6)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.8 out of 5 stars (60 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

236 of 246 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Great questions that lead to very deep conversations, June 4, 2000
By A Customer
This review is from: The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do" (Paperback)
Although I'm already very happily married, my wife and I have found this book to be incredibly stimulating. She bought a copy on impulse for a friend who's getting married, but after skimming through it, we ended up keeping a copy for ourselves and buying another for our friend. We haven't finished it yet (not by a long shot), but we have found the process of answering the questions very insightful and provocative. We have discovered things about each other that might have taken years to find out. We have had some incredibly deep and interesting (and sometimes quite difficult) conversations that have lead us to whole new levels of understanding about each other. I'm generally not a big "self help" guy, and I was definitely skeptical when she started reading the questions to me, but it really has been a fun and helpful (albeit also a little scary sometimes) process. I recommend this book highly and not just for people who are contemplating getting married. I think it's an excellent book for any two people who are involved in a committed relationship and who want to understand each other better and perhaps take their relationship to a deeper, more meaningful level.
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62 of 65 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Good for non-evangelicals, August 30, 2002
By 
V. Brader (Ann Arbor, MI USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do" (Paperback)
Many of the pre-marriage books I was looking at were written from an evangelical Christian point of view, which is certainly valuable but not what I was looking for exclusively. This book is a wonderful resource for non-evangelicals who are still looking for serious marriage preparation. It did a concise job of presenting the big issues; none are surprising, but it's a good collection of the major areas you should be addressing. It won't help you work out the little details, but helps make sure you answer the big questions that could jeopardize your relationship.
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45 of 47 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Surprising Results!, December 19, 2002
By A Customer
This review is from: The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do" (Paperback)
I ordered this book based on seeing Susan Piver on "Oprah". Although I didn't question my love, communication with my husband needed some "work", so I thought this book could be helpful. I was extraordinarily surprised by the results. My first surprise was that my husband was so willing and eager to participate in this. My second surprise was some of the answers and information we exchanged. Some of the simpler questions that I thought would be one word answers, led to deep discussions. There is no question but that this book has been extremely helpful to us. Even without the book to guide us, we now find the exchange of honest and open conversation much easier. "The Hard Questions" is a good book!!!
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