Customer Reviews

Hardbodies Collection

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This review is only of Hardbodies #1.

One of the best NAKED movies to come from the 80's. It has a good handful of gorgeous women; most of them look just like your everyday gal. It has sex, nudity and the plot is actually funny! Good actors, good scenes, good dialog and an upbeat pace that keeps you interested. Hey, even the music is good.

The nudity is exactly what it should be: stupid and funny. The photo shoot scenes is the best. 6 lovely women, 5 of them topless and 10 boobs. This scene alone should have definitely won an award. And then there's the fitness scene staring the gym girls. One woman shakes her breasts so fast and hard that you'd think that someone set them on fire! Other scenes include a beach dog that steals a bikini top and 2 girls standing topless in front of a mirror asking each other "Why do guys like boobs?"

The picture quality is great. Clear enough with vivid colors. Not completely clear or perfect but you definitely won't see anything like this on vhs. The sound quality is just as good.

If you grew up during the 80's then do yourself a favor and get it. They don't have the guts to make movies like this anymore. This was the pre AIDS era when having care free sex was still accepted and this movie reflects it.
If you're only going to by one movie this year then buy this one... also.

Welcome back to the 80's folks 1984 to be exact.And from the vaults comes this classic 80's sex comedy thanks to the folks at Anchor Bay Hardbodies. The 1986 sequel is included in the set but I'm here to talk about the original.Back in the 80's teen sex comedies were all the rage and Hardbodies would be in the upper echelon of the genre.The story opens with us meeting Scotty Palmer a young beach bum type about to be evicted from his dumpy apartment.Scotty is one of those guys floating thru life trying to find themselves,He's got a hot hardbodied girlfriend Kristi that he's crazy about.Hardbodies the term itself applies to a young woman(usually) that has a tight toned body .You can thank Jane Fonda from the era for introducing that look.Not that I'm complaining mind you nor should you.Anyhow he's on the beach with best bud Rag looking to come up with a plan to save his apartment.lo and behold enter 3 middle aged guys Hunter,Rounder and Ashby who arrive in L.A. looking to score chicks.The 3 guys dubbed "fossils" by the locals strike out big time in their efforts to meet hotties.They end up meeting Scotty and hire him as their guru(NOT a pimp)to help them score hardbodies.What follows is Scotty teaching the guys the art of the BBD "Bigger,Better.Deal" which was how you scored a girl back in 1984.The guys get success with Hunter really becoming what is now known as a player.Scotty along the way ends up managing an all girl rock band(played by 80's pop metaller's Vixen)and trying to decide if Kristi is the one for him.Kristi in turn wonders about her future and if Scotty is going to grow up and be a part of it.What helps make Hardbodies apart from the pack is that the writing is good enough that you care about these characters.You don't hate Scotty(Grant Cramer) or Kristi(Teal Roberts).Hunter(Gary Wood) becomes the defacto heel of the fossils but Ashby(Sorells Pickard) is quite likable.Hardbodies also besides having lots of female breasts on display has early appearances by Kane Hodder(as Foz) and Kathleen Kinmont.And unlike today the hardbodies on display are almost 100% natural no saline to be found.So if you long for the 80's and want a semi intelligent comedy(unlike say an Adam Sandler film) then check out the Hardbodies I bet you'll love it.

This movie came at the dawn of 24-hour cable TV, and was regularly shown on Cinemax and the other channels, usually at about 11 or so.
Oh, to be a 17-year-old young male again and see this for the first time! There is enough T&A in this film to more than satisfy any adolescent boy's needs for a good long time.
Lots of girls on roller skates in high-cut jazzercize-style, one-piece leotards, all with come-hither looks at fortunate Scotty and his carrot top geek sidekick.
Lots of out and out toplessness, not to mention full frontal in several scenes.
This film should be put in an '80s time capsule for future generations to see just how good we young boys had it during that time. The filmmakers who gave us this classic should be put in some kind of T&A Hall of Fame.

It's movies like "Hardbodies" that made an evening out at the drive-in so much fun! I saw this movie back in 1984, and countless times on TV and still really enjoy it. I bought a VHS copy of this movie 2 years ago, and it's been replayed on a regular basis. The California sunshine, the beach, lots of bikinis and the funny characters make this a memorable movie. Basically the plot consists of 3 middle-aged men renting a beach house, and the local dude shows them how to "dialogue" bikini-clad babes known as "hardbodies" on the beach. It's not a serious movie, just lots of fun. It's a movie that you can watch over & over again which makes it a great choice for buying. If you are looking for some light entertainment, and you are a fan of '80s movies, then this one will not disappoint! I hope one of these days that it's released on DVD!

My four star rating of Hardbodies should include a disclaimer for all those considering purchasing this movie. If you're looking for a deep, meaningful film with stellar acting, fascinating and complex characters, and brilliant writing, then save your money. Whoever wrote the script for this film certainly wasn't striving to make Citizen Kane or The Graduate.

My positive rating for this film is for those guys out there who want to see a bevy of beauties flaunting their breasts, mixed with a little bit of humor ... This film is pure 80's T&A, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. They certainly acquired some very beautiful "talent" for this film that is certainly worthy of wearing out the Pause button on your VCR.

The synopsis of the film is three middle aged men in mid-life crises rent a beach house and are having absolutely no success in scoring with the beautiful young women on the beach. So they acquire the help of a young stud to show them how to succeed with these hotties. But one of these guys turns into a jerk and puts the moves on the young stud's girlfriend. Eventually the jerk gets his [come]-uppance, and our hero(?) gets his girl back. Quite a fascinating storyline, huh? The only actor of any note whatsoever in this film is goofy looking redheaded Courtney Gaines, who also starred in Children Of The Corn and Can't Buy Me Love, and had a small part in Back To The Future. Also, there's an early appearence by girl rock group, Vixen, before they grew their hair out and had some success as a metal act in the late 80's!

Beautiful girls and their beautiful breasts are the selling point of this film. Look elsewhere if you want more.

I totally love this 80's fun sexy movie. I have the video and was so happy that it was put on dvd. I actually met the red headed guy at a horror convention and he said he had a blast filming this movie.
It's one of those mindless movies where boy meets girl and they fall in love, but the boy meets these older rich guys and tries to teach them how to score with younger babes! Plenty of beach bikin babes and some fun sexy love scenes. The young actors are attracted and it's just a feel good movie. If you're a fan of 80's hair metal, check out an early Vixen at Scotty's party near the end of the movie.

What can you say...its funny,sexy and totally 80's. If your looking for a mind altering experience dont buy it. If your looking to re-capture some of the magic that made the 80's a unique generation in pop culture put it in your cart now. Hardbodies is the film you will enjoy, Hardbodies 2 is pretty lame.

Growing up 80's had to be the the greatest era of them all. Amongst movies like "Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Last American Virgin and Hollywood Knights, this movie had my motor rrrrrvn'!!! You could only appreciate it though if you grew up as an 80's teen film buff. Don't bother if your looking for serious acting. Grant Cramer will never be a household name. Between he and his "Carrot Top" look-alike side kick, they manage to convince you through enough "BS" to get you to
watch 3 over-the-hill, never-gonna-get-it, well-to-do, old men; rumble, stumble & bumble their way to more unforseeable lonely nights. Might I add, he gets pa-aid for it too...handsomely. Remember sitting up at night watching "Friday Night Videos"? Well afterwards, this was the kind of movie that kept you up until dawn. Hardbodies is only for the hard charging, nastalgic, hair band era (Prince & the Revolution, Bon Jovi). No acting skills necessary! Have busts, will travel! This movie is for you. Just Don't forget where you come from...Tom Hanks, not included.

I got to tell you that this is the funniest movie after Life of Brian. I know the critics hate this movie but if you watch it with an open mind you will be cracking up and spitting milk through your nose. The jokes never stop and the Ragger gets laid. Can you imagine Rags with a set of 48 DD dugz? Does it get any better than that? Yes! The Ragger flipping off the beach geeks in 47 different languages. I agree the old BBD is the best part of this flick. I wonder what ever happened to the old dude that played "Southern Comfort" or the fat dude.

To start off, I loved Hardbodies 1, that was a great movie with everything. Scotty, the beach hunk and smooth-talker, training a group of "older gentlemen", shall be say, how to get hard-bodies? How can you possibly lose with an idea like that! Without revealing too much of the story itself since you literally need to see it to believe it, this is a classic teen-pig-sex-comedy from the 80s and a definite must watch, if not just for the memorable lines ("Cause she don't f*** fossils for freeeee", thanks Ashby!) It also has Mr. Skins seal of approval :P

Hardbodies 2, on the other hand, blew. You know you're in trouble when only one of the original actors comes back, and it wasn't Scotty. The guy who played Ashby was the only one to come back. The brief plot is that Scotty is in Greece for some film shoot and he runs into Ashby who's on a yacht and a total player. In contrast to the above, which is so good you have to see it, this movie is so bad that you have to see it just to understand its level of suckiness. It definitely falls short of the original.

So, I know I gave Harbodies 1 a-lot of praise, and I would like to make it clear that I am QUITE aware that it is not some kind of a film-classic or masterpiece of cinema, but that doesn't stop it from being a great movie to watch. It's a goofy film, and if you like raunchy comedies you'll probably laugh your butt-off watching it.