The Harvard Lampoon's Guide to College Admissions: The Comprehensive, Authoritative, and Utterly Useless Source for Where to Go and How to Get in [Paperback]

Harvard Lampoon (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 2000

PASS THIS QUICK TEST AND YOU CAN BUY THIS BOOK.

1. This book will make you ___.

(a) cooler

(b) sexier

(c) more likely to get into college

(d) poorer.

2. After reading this book you will receive a ___ on the SATs.

(a) B+

(b) notice informing you of your scores

(c) 88,000

(d) sneaking suspicion that you'll do pretty well.

3. When your friends see you with this book, they will exclaim:

(a) "Nice shirt!"

(b) "Why are you reading that book upside down?"

(c) "I want to marry you and bear your children (because you are reading that book)".

(d) "How did you get in here? I'm going to call the police if you don't leave".

4. While writing this book, the editors:

(a) worked collaboratively to foster an open, caring environment

(b) worked collaboratively to foster an openly spiteful environment

(c) kicked a puppy

(d) a and c.

5. Do you have $12.95?

If you answered "yes" to question 5, THE HARVARD LAMPOON'S GUIDE TO COLLEGE ADMISSIONS is for you.

Profusely sweating (and illustrated), only THE HARVARD LAMPOON'S "TM" GUIDE TO COLLEGE ADMISSIONS gives you:
-- SAT Tips for college-bound fetuses
-- Recommendation letters from teachers who hate you
-- Tips on where to go, from the Colorado School of Mining Technology to Bikini College to Harvard (Why would anyone not go to Bikini College?)
-- Dorm room pets -- goldfish or soul-less zombie manservant? (The answer may surprise you!)
-- Advice on choosing a brand of fabric softener, a major, and a favorite lite FM radio station that makes you a winner...AND NOT MUCH MORE!

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

Comparison shopping for colleges is serious business for teenagers and parents, but the editors of the Harvard Lampoon think that makes it fair game for satire. Drawing on contemporary culture; literature, both classic and popular; and archetypal college traditions, they've created a raucous parody modeled on a typical new-student college guidebook. Beginning even before the beginning, they offer "Advice to Parents before Conception (how-to's for getting your kid on the Ivy League path), then conduct readers on a college prep run through test taking, essay writing, school rankings (skewering most of the high-profile institutions, including their own--"finally, a place where everyone is as awesome as me"), and etiquette advice (drinking games are "dangerous and should be avoided," but are clearly described all the same). The humor sometimes misses the mark, and the editors, who revel in the politically incorrect and the irreverent, are even a little ribald at times, but students (and a few parents) will find some of this goofball stuff laugh-out-loud funny. Stephanie Zvirin
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Details

• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: Grand Central Publishing (September 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0446676160
• ISBN-13: 978-0446676168
• Product Dimensions: 10.9 x 8.5 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,070,794 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars It's about time, September 7, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: The Harvard Lampoon's Guide to College Admissions: The Comprehensive, Authoritative, and Utterly Useless Source for Where to Go and How to Get in (Paperback)

What a delightful reality check for those who feel that children need to read by age 2, learn computer software on their parents lap at 6 months etc. Let kids be kids- at least until they are 5 years old!!!!

7 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Craptacular!, June 30, 2005

By 

Joshua P. Rogers (Bronxville, NY USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Harvard Lampoon's Guide to College Admissions: The Comprehensive, Authoritative, and Utterly Useless Source for Where to Go and How to Get in (Paperback)

This is the worst book I have ever read. The Harvard Lampoon should be ashamed of rushing this piece of rubbish to print without trying to make it either helpful or funny. It is an unfunny waste of almost 200 pages and I regret that some poor publisher was duped into printing this. The Lampoon's other books are terrible so I'm not surprised this one turned out terribly too.

6 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars this book is the kizzity, September 5, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: The Harvard Lampoon's Guide to College Admissions: The Comprehensive, Authoritative, and Utterly Useless Source for Where to Go and How to Get in (Paperback)

Yo, I read this book and let me just tell you one thing and that is that it is the bomb, yo. I didn't read the whole thing, but I read most of it, and the only reason i didn't read the whole thing was i was laughing too hard!! I was eating cereal once and milk came out of my nose when i was reading this book. The stuff about the SAT and also the stuff about Brown U. was TOTALLY right-on. I have never laughed so hard at anything, not even when we put my cat in the microwave or anything like that. this is sincerely the funniest thing in the world.