Customer Reviews

Hatchet (Unrated Director's Cut) [Blu-ray]

5 star:		(44)
4 star:		(39)
3 star:		(30)
2 star:		(29)
1 star:		(31)

 

 

Okay, so is this the opitome of horror, no. But I'll tell you what it is though. A movie that pays homage to the classic 80's horror film without being a remake. And in that catagory it shines like Jesus himself. It has everything. T and A, but without a crappy sex scene (I know about hatchet 2). It has humor. It has a cast that has great chemistry. It has a horror icon. (Granted it is no Freddy, Jason, or Michael.) It's everything a horror movie should be. It takes itself seriously when it needs to, and is down right hillarious when it needs to be. Adam Green is my freaking hero with this film. The backstory of Victor Crowley is sad, and will really have you feeling for the character. Kane Hodder is amazing and shows incredible amounts of depth playing 2 characters. Granted one is just a pissed off killer. Tamara Feldman portrays the part of MaryBeth flawlessly. (And as much crap as I'm gonna get for this, KILLS Danielle Harris in this role.) Honestly, I can't find anything I didn't like about this movie.

it says it right on the cover "oldschool american horror." if you go into this expecting an Oscar winner, you are obviously gonna be disappointed. this is a no frills, no holds barred slasher flick. on the other hand, the villain's appearance among other things really keep me from taking it very seriously. part homage, part spoof, Hatchet deffinitely gets the job done.

the killer is one Victor Crowley. born with various deformities all over his body, he grew up secluded in his home with his father. that is, until the day some local kids accidentally start a fire in the house. Victor's father accidentally killed him with a hatchet while trying to get through the door to save him. now he wanders those same woods and swamps looking to dish out some pain in return for his own.

starts off with a relatively traditional horror intro (you know what im talking about)

cut to a couple days later. the main character("villain" from Grandma's Boy! also in Accepted) of this movie is highly unhappy at Mardi Gras and looks into a haunted swamp tour for some alternative entertainment. most of the characters are fairly cliched. you got the paris hiltonish girls (eh), the hero, the token back dude, the sensitive guy, the completely helpless old couple, and the sleaze. traditionally, it doesnt take too long for the chaos to begin.

a fairly over-used formula at this point, but just like "The Tripper", "Hatchet" manages to be supremely entertaining with an extremely interesting kill or two thrown in for good measure. plenty of blood and guts to satisfy any horror fan, but probably not grisly enough for the most jaded of gore hounds. kills with nothing but bare hands, kills with the ominous hatchet, and a power tool may even just get thrown in there. the action does not disappoint. while i didnt find it genuinely scarey at any moment (they hardly ever are), you feel a little tension at times, it has very satisfying death sequences(victor can be so creative!) and some surprisingly good humor, its an extremely entertaining horror movie. recommended to fans of the genre, especially slasher fans. most others wont get it.

Nothing outstanding about this movie, it's just a great horror flick that sticks to what works. There's a few neat cameo's and the gore is really well done, the Blu-Ray makes it even better. If you're looking for a solid horror movie and have been living under a rock and never heard of this movie, buy it now, you won't be disappointed.

A couple of weeks ago, I was browsing horror titles online when I came across this gem. If only I had seen it when it first came out! I'm an old-school horror fan, tired of the endless remakes that Hollywood keeps churning out, so I was pleasantly surprised to find myself watching one of the most entertaining movies I've seen in years. 'Hatchet' is funny, bloody, gory, suspenseful and delightfully over the top. The movie doesn't waste any time getting started and once it does the film never slows down or gets boring. I found myself talking to the screen, telling the characters not to go in that house and not to split up, but of course they did anyway. Make sure you get the unrated version so you can see it the way Adam Green intended.

I love this movie! Seriously, this is an almost perfect mix of gore and humor, I really do hope that Hatchet 2 (and 3, and 4, this is a slasher after all) is made. One minor quip is with the ending. It's a big "What the *bleep*" moment, but does little to hurt the overall excellence of this movie.

Yes, this film is a spoof, kind of, at least in my opinion, from the bountiful bare breasts to the buckets of fake blood used in this non CGI horror flick.

The movie follows your basic nice guy who just got dumped Ben and his pal Marcus who are partying hardy in New Orleans, but Ben wants more so he nags Marcus into going along on a Haunted Swamp tour. Big mistake. Marcus doesn't want to go, but when he sees some guy is making a cheap X type movie with a couple hotties who do beaucoup de flashing, then Marcus is up for the trip.

Basically the tour is a boat right though the swamp after dark. Naturally there's a good looking, non-breast baring babe for Ben to pal up with. Also there is a middle aged couple who get good and killed early on. The killing, that's something else. Remember I said no CGI. This stuff was done the old fashioned way and it's gory. Not so gory as to chase a girl out of the room, spoofy gory, if you know what I mean.

Lot of tension, good action, bad acting, terrific Victor Crowley as the deranged axe wielding weirdo all combine to make this creepy film really enjoyable.

If you enjoy seeing dumb mostly unlikeable characters being hacked up and ripped to shreds, the odds are you will appreciate Hatchet (2006). Horror legend Kane Hodder (Friday the 13th series), plays Victor Crowley, a huge grotesque hulk, who lives in the swamps of Louisiana, and eviscerates anyone who has the misfortune of crossing his path. The savage kills are the best thing about the film. A number of them feature dismemberment, and are quite over the top.

It's Mardi Gras time, but looking to do something different, Ben (Joel David Moore) and his buddy Marcus (Deon Richmond) decide to join a group taking a haunted swap tour. After a bus ride into the swamp, they board a small boat, and head out on the river for a night of thrills. The tour abruptly ends when Shawn (Perry Shen), the inexperienced guide, gets the boat stuck on some rocks. After an encounter with an alligator, the agitated bunch reaches the shore.

Marybeth (Tamara Feldman), one of the passengers, who pulled out a gun to scare off the alligator, reveals that she is looking for her missing father and brother. Marybeth also informs the group about Victor Crowley, a huge freakish man who was accidentally killed some time back, when his father drove an axe into his skull. Legend has it that Crowley still prowls the swamps, slaying whoever he meets. Why all this matters is because Crowley's house is just up the hill from where the group has landed. On cue, Crowley suddenly appears, and armed with an axe, murders two people, literally ripping their bodies apart.

Thus begins a slaughter in the swamp, as the brainless and extremely talkative group, tries to stay alive in what plays out like a really bad episode of Scooby Doo, except with some extremely gory kills. Ben (who kind of looks like Shaggy) leads the group, who scamper around in the woods, only to end up travelling in a circle. They then decide to try and trap the monster. Like the Scooby Doo gang, things don't quite go as planned, but somehow they do manage to achieve their goal of setting Crowley on fire. They flee into a cemetery, but not surprisingly, Crowley is already there, and makes another limb snapping kill. The movie's extremely abrupt cliffhanger ending is disturbing, however the story would be continued almost exactly where it ended, in the sequel Hatchet II (2010), although with a different actress in the lead role. (So much for continuity!)

As Victory Crowley, Kane Hodder is scary as hell, although some of his jerky movements do look very ridiculous. It seems that even if the victims acted intelligently, nothing could save them, as Crowley is practically invincible. Even after being critically injured several times, he pops up later at places where he has no logical business being. Despite the shocking gore and some occasional nudity, the film's attempts at humor, and limp dialog, make it a hard pill to swallow at times. The characters are mostly annoying, obnoxious, dumb, and often cowardly. Neither competent nor likeable, when this bunch is savagely ripped to shreds, it's hard to feel sorry for them. Written and directed by Adam Green (Frozen), Hatchet is far from subtle, but it has its moments, particularly if you are in the mood for a chickens in the pen type massacre. The unrated director's cut contains additional scenes, and also includes a commentary that is not included on the R rated version.

HATCHET is the best Slasher film to come out in the last thirty years -- at least according to creator Adam Green. There is no mistaking his love and enthusiasm for the genre, but HATCHET fails to live up to its own hype. Deep within the swamps of the Louisiana bayou, a tour boat filled with passengers crashes near the home of the legendary Victor Crowley, a deformed boy that was killed years ago but who continues to haunt the swamplands. Unfortunately for this group of teens, Victor Crowley lives, and he has an ax to grind with anyone who crosses into his domain!

Green clearly understands the classic conventions of the Slasher film, and better yet, he understands what most Slasher fans want: a ton of gore and even more gratuitous nudity. The problem is that HATCHET only delivers on these two superficial levels, and fails to bring a unique story, interesting characters, or even a steady pace. It starts strong enough with two incredibly violent deaths, but the plot plods on with only mild hints at humor and no kills. Finally, when the teens approach Crowley's house in the woods, things pick up dramatically (at least in the gore department). One character is hacked in half before his wife has her head ripped apart from her jaw in a gush of blood! From there, limbs fly, faces are sanded off, and heads are crushed before Crowley can finally be stopped... Or so it seems...

If the gruesome displays had only been spread out more evenly throughout the film, HATCHET may have at least been a more entertaining watch, but it takes far too long to get into the action with too little payoff. Minor things like the horribly artificial lighting also distract from the events on screen, although Joel Moore and Deon Richmond do their best to keep the audience involved. Kane Hodder also returns with another menacing villain as Victor Crowley, but what Green fails to realize is that there is just no marketability in a big misshapen monster. Without a hockey mask or a red and green sweater to sell come Halloween, Crowley just becomes another faceless killer trailing behind Cropsey and Madman Marz.

Considering this was only his first film, most Horror fans will be willing to forgive many of the film's weaknesses based on Green's inexperience, but HATCHET is a guilty pleasure at best.

-Carl Manes
I Like Horror Movies

Aside from a bit of comic relief, Hatchet is a great return to old school horror. In fact, if this had come advertised as the next sequel to Friday the 13th, I would have bought off on its authenticity. Simply put, take this for what it is: mindless, traditional horror.

The premise is simple and all the low-grade horror rules are followed (e.g. cheesy comedy, full frontal nudity, stupid victim decisions). A bunch of random characters go where they shouldn't - this time on a swamp cruise near New Orleans - slightly outside of cellphone coverage, and they just wander upon the local horror story of Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder - Jason, Friday the 13th), a disfigured mutant madman who was born into reclusion and has a nasty hatchet wound to the face. Victor seems to miss his daddy quite a bit, and everyone who wonders upon his decrepit cabin in the remote swamp lands of Louisiana scares him enough that he has to break out his hatchet, shovel, or pitchfork to kill the interloper.

Gore galore, enough blood to start a wave pool, and extra prosthetic limbs for when bimbo tourists get theirs ripped off. To warn at least one of the people on the cruise, "Heads up!" You won't find much new age CGI garbage here. If anything, the kill scenes are the truest homage to traditional horror. The production values and music are satisfactory, but

Don't go into this expecting Citizen Kane, and you won't be too upset. It's kind of like taking a drink of soda when you expect water. There are no additives here; it's simply water. Enjoy the water...with just a little red food coloring.

Jason Elin

Hatchet is a movie claiming to be an Old School American horror which may boast a bit too much. Not really sure what defines an American horror in the first place, you can only assume it's a throw back to the days where the slasher flick ruled. Judging by the blood soaked hatchet on the cover it was a safe assumption. If you're going into this film unsure if you will like it then you only have to ask yourself one question. Do you like non-stop gruesome gore? If you said yes then you are going to love this one.

We start with a group of very unlikeable characters as they cruise through a Louisiana swamp as part of a haunted boat tour run by some annoying Asian kid. Once the boat has an accident and begins to sink the crew must abandon ship to walk through the lush creepy forest in hopes of finding their way back to town. Only problem is the very woods they wander is said to be plagued by deformed maniac Victor Crowley. As they walk through the swamp freaks turf they see it's not just folklore once they start getting picked off one by one in extreme gore fashion.

Hatchet was hard to form an opinion on since we weren't really sure what to expect. Typically we hope for more of a chilling/edge of your seat thriller as opposed to a complete gore-fest. However the film was pretty entertaining. Especially for the fact that you can't stomach most of the cast and hope for them to get chopped up. Once you realize it's more of a horror-comedy that pays tribute to the Friday the 13th era you should have a good time with it. In no way is Hatched anything special but it will be loved by the gore enthusiast. When pondering if a young Sid would have enjoyed this the result is inconclusive.