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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
This movie SUCKS, but I'm in love with that one chick..., April 13, 2005
If you're interested in watching a movie even worse (yes worse) than the handful of movies in the terrifying straight-to-DVD Scarecrow saga, you might consider this one. Much the movie centers around the apartment complex where most of the characters seem to reside.
Serial Killer: Code Name "Hatchetman", a jerkweed wearing a hooded sweat shirt and a cheap rubber mask, armed with a small, ineffectual-looking hatchet. The Hatchetman prefers to ambush his female prey and then strike them down with petulant bellows of rage and awkwardly shallow hatchet swipes.
Possible Suspects: (1) The malingering apartment complex manager, (2) the disoriented cop boyfriend, (3) the rat-like tantrum-throwing jilted ex-con, (4) the suspiciously benign motel security guy, and (5) the ghastly cross-dressing degenerate that just sort of hangs around the motel giving all the strippers the creeps.
I think it would be fair to say that the Hatchetman is the bottom of the barrel in regards to serial killer status. It goes without saying that the Hatchetman would get quickly stomped to death by Leatherface, Madman Mars or the mighty Jason Voorhees, but the Hatchetman would also face abject defeat at the hands of much less impressive peers such as Bloody Murder's Trevor Moorehouse, or the lame Michael Myers simulacrum from Offerings, or Milo from... uh, Milo.
Now, you might be saying, hey, Holly, why would I possibly want to give this mindless crap two seconds of my attention? The answer, simply, is the main stripper, that chick Claudia, the "good" stripper who is discontented with her lot in life and is eager to go to law school. She's delicate, honey-skinned and voluptuous, with pale azure eyes and a kind of baby face. I've sat through this deplorable movie multiple times now, and it's all because of her. (It helps if you turn the volume all the way down, and maybe try listening to Slayer in the background.)
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Even nudity doesn't help ease the pain., February 15, 2006
Bad acting, plot holes, unattractive strippers, a non-threatening killer, low body count, cheap production values and an uninspired script filled with annoying characters. If I was Chuck Norris I would have roundhoused this DVD straight into the trash can then dropped some evil greasin' on it.
The DVD case promises strippers getting offed by some wacko with a hatchet and yea that happens but it's duller than watching snot dry. The bulk of the movie is wasted on the relationship between the detective investigating the case and his girlfriend (who happens to be the main stripper girl). She's trying to get into law school and the boyfriend doesn't pay enough attention to her, blah, blah, blah. Who cares?! Get back to the killing.
There is nudity, but not the kind you want to see.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
"Hatchetwuss" is more like it., October 30, 2005
The movie "Hatchetman" is just what you would expect from a movie so entitled. Basically, the plot involves a mysterious man with a mask who hacks up strippers with a hatchet for some unknown reason. There are plenty of suspects and it is difficult to determine who the Hatchetman is until towards the end of the movie.
That is about all of the suspense this movie has to offer. This movie is NOT SCARY at all and fails to produce any elements of horror. It is very easy to determine who is going to die and when in this below average slasher flick. The gore effects, however, are average, but the acting is below average to average at best.
There is some weak character development in this movie, but it becomes very difficult for the audience to sympathize with or like any of the characters in this movie as they are portrayed. In other words, as a viewer, one does not root for any of these characters, unless you are a horny man who falls in love with the strippers.
The biggest criticism for this movie is its reliance on nudity and sexual conduct...this sexual theme overshadows any suspense or horror element this movie "attempted" to create and that takes away from its effectiveness as a horror movie anyway. It focuses too much on the life of a stripper and not enough on creating scenes of suspense and horror. Therefore, this is not a good horror movie, but a good "T & A" movie if that is your thing. In short, don't watch Hatchetwuss if you are looking for a horror movie because there is nothing scary or horrifying about it, except for how terrible it is.
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