Customer Reviews

To Hate Like This Is to Be Happy Forever: A Thoroughly Obsessive, Intermittently Uplifting, and Occasionally Unbiased Account of the Duke-North Carolina Basketball Rivalry

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Some of the best American nonfiction writing is about sports, and some of the best American writers are sportswriters.

Even though he isn't, to the best of my knowledge, a sportswriter (strictly speaking) Will Blythe has written an absolutely brilliant book about one of the most storied and heated rivalries in college basketball: UNC vs. Duke.

He has all the qualifications one needs to opine authoritatively: he was born and raised in North Carolina, he went to school at UNC, and like most of us who did (I fit that profile myself), he's a rabid Carolina basketball fan.

And while this book will be of obvious and direct interest to anyone who has spent some time on Tobacco Road--it is as authentically North Carolinian as a plate of barbecue and a glass of sweet iced tea--*any* college basketball fan, or any sports fan, really, or even anyone who appreciates the fine art of the wry personal memoir, would find "To Hate Like This..." engaging and delightful reading.

This book was given to me a friend who thinks I take sports too seriously. I'm a Kentucky fan so I figured I wouldn't enjoy it, but I was wrong. If you want to learn about basketball, read something else. If you want to learn about yourself, read this book.

This book is not about Duke or North Carolina or even college basketball per se, it's about about real sports fans dealing with the trials and tribulations of obsessive love and hate for "their" teams and against their rivals. The author himself even admits that he too is not immune from this affliction as he tries to determine what is at the root of this phenomenon. It's a hilarious read, and is without a doubt like nothing I've ever read in the sports genre. This book has history, passion, love/hate, and lots of psychoanalysis. It should be required reading for all sociology majors, not to mention anyone who has ever considered themselves a fan of any sport or anything.

I purchased this book intending to give it to my UNC grad father-in-law. Before I could get it in the mail I started reading it and could not put it down. I am neither a lover nor a hater of either Duke or North Carolina, but that hardly matters. The writing is clear, mostly free of sports cliches and in many parts funny and insightful, especially when the author writes about his mother and deceased father. Thankfully, the author spends little time with game summaries and much more time dealing with the personalities connected to the Duke-UNC rivalry, both past and present. My only criticism is that the Duke bashing is a little over the top at times, but the author is a UNC alum after all. This book reminded me in a lot of ways of "Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer", a look at obsessive Univ. of Alabama football fans. Both books are well worth the time.

My husband bought this book for me and now I think I finally understand his illness. In fact, I'm starting to feel a little sick myself. Thank you Will Blythe for spreading the truth about this wonderful disease.

The first chapter of this book is worth the entire price. Laugh out loud funny. And then Will Blythe digs into the paradoxes and subtleties of what hating Duke, er, Dook (yes, I'm a Carolina alum), really means to him, even after he gets to know the personalities he loves to hate. Where does he wind up? Well, I won't give it away but believe me, he doesn't lose any of his passion for the Tar Heels. This is a must read for any Carolina fan. Similarly obsessed Dook fans will appreciate it as well. And curious outsiders who want an insider's view of what it's like to live inside the crazed, obseesive heart of the ACC won't regret a page of this book. Great writing from a fan in search of himself and an understanding of his loyalty to a team, a school, a region and a way of life that his recently deceased father taught him to love.

I need to define my frame of reference for this review. My favorite authors are (in no particular order) Elmore Leonard, James Lee Burke, and David Halberstam. So, it is safe to say I like humor, great character development, good prose and effective blending of historical facts into story lines. "To Hate Like This" is a funny, very well written account of one of the greatest rivalries in sports. Sure, Boston fans hate the New York Yankees with a passion, but are they eight miles apart and sharing the same barber shop? The Duke/Carolina rivalry is like no other.

I also need to state my bias: I grew up in Chapel Hill, ran track in high school with the author and graduated from UNC. But, I was not always a Duke hater. As Will explains so well in the book, Carolina's main rival was David Thompson and NC State when we were coming up. Duke was more of an annoyance than a program to be hated. It was not until the arrival of Coach K that the hating truly started. I even pulled for Duke in out-of-conference games until the early 1990's. My casual dislike evolved into quasi-hatred about the time that Danny Ferry became known as the dirtiest player in the ACC. Then came Christian Laettner and his very un-Christian like stomping of an opposing player as he lay helpless on the floor. Not to mention Coach K's foul mouth and constant carping at the officials. But mostly it is their spoiled brat obnoxious fans whose behavior is encouraged by such luminaries as Dook Vitale. Okay, enough venting.

Will Blythe's book is not just another sports book that chronicles big games and big plays. Perhaps it was fate that he started the book as UNC was on the verge of one of its best seasons ever and another national championship. His chronicles of the careers of the non-stars of that team, Melvin Scott and Jawad Williams, reminds us all of the fleeting nature of sports fame. But the 2005 season is just a convenient backdrop for the bigger story: why is there so much hate?

Native North Carolinians, like Will's father to whom the book is dedicated, dearly love our state. It has beauty, charm and tradition. To many of us, Duke University is just a collection of 20th century buildings made to look old for the elite to send their children who could not get into an Ivy league school. Less than twenty percent of the student body hails from North Carolina. Many of our neighbors view it as simply a place for Yankee interlopers to get their tickets punched before they go back to whence they came and enlarge their fortunes. We don't need them. They are not one of us. Duke's other athletic programs, except for women's basketball, are lame at best. Football is a joke. Their baseball program was terrible until the coach started pushing the players to take steroids. And don't even get me started about the lacrosse team, the grand jury has yet to convene. So, it all comes down to basketball and Coach K for Duke to have national prominence in college athletics.

It is interesting to note the players at the respective schools deeply respect each other and many are friends off the court. It is the fans that create the hate. Will goes into great anecdotal detail about why the animosity is so deep rooted by interviewing fans on both sides. The stories are poignant and occasionally pitiful when you consider how limited some people's lives are if college basketball has become their reason for being.

Where does hate start? My wife and I have done our best to bring our children up to be tolerant, open-minded, respectful and generous to all people. They have worked in food banks, served the homeless and helped build churches in impoverished countries. We hope this has lead to a greater appreciation for what they have and to respect all people. We have, however, clearly failed in one regard as our children cannot stand Duke basketball. Our oldest son heads off to Carolina next year and never had one thought of applying to Duke. A full scholarship would not have persuaded him to go there. He and his younger brother sit in front of the television yelling at JJ Redick as if the TV could somehow transmit their feelings up to the satellite and back down to JJ, imploring him to clank another twenty-six footer. To be even handed, I mentioned once that if I were trying to teach a child how to shoot a basketball properly I would use JJ Redick as a model, his form is so pure. Their response: "dad, why would you teach a kid to shoot forty times a game, it's a team sport."

Perhaps the hatred, like most prejudice, starts at home. Maybe it was a not-so-subtle comment on my part, a rec room filled with Carolina memorabilia, a less than kind word about Coach K, or a constant stream of praise about Carolina tradition and values. Even my wife who grew up in Ohio, a deacon in church, recoils at the sight of Coach K. Like the little boy Will describes who was told whom to root for by his big brother, our own family tradition continues. Reading Will's book helped me understand my own prejudices and that my feet are indeed made of clay. His portrayal of Coach K and Redick also allows me to like them just a little bit. If JJ's favorite album is Bruce Springsteen's "Nebraska," he can't be all bad. It also reminded me of the importance of family and loyalty. Will's father would be very proud of this book.

Buy this book, you won't be disappointed.

A more comic and relaxing spin on the Carolina-Duke rivalry than Blue Blood. Many Tarheels will be to identify with Will's great and entertaining stories!!! The superstitions, the nailbiter finishes. All most importantly told from a Tarheel's perspective. I loved this book. It is a poignant and satisfying success story about the greatest basketball tradition in the nation - North Carolina.

Every decade or so a writer manages to weave sport and personal revelation into something truly magical, and Will Blythe has done just that. While reading his new book you cannot ignore the sense that it is destined to be a classic, that what you are reading will be read for many years, that this is something special. If you're looking for a by-the-numbers book on basketball, you won't find it here. If you're looking for a powerful literary achievement that is funny and moving as well as informative, that looks at college basketball with insight but offer so much more, buy this book. Those of us who know Mr. Blythe's work through his stories, articles and reviews relish the chance to see him stretch into a longer form. His brilliant, candid, and, above all, gracious sensibility makes you want to read on. Your only disappointment will be that the book has to end. You'll find yourself wanting to read more and even to spend some time sitting at a bar with him, watching his beloved Tar Heels whip the devil out of Duke.

The few Dookies and ABCers (Anybody But Carolina) who panned the book clearly didn't finish it or even read it. Blythe, despite his clear and passionate partisanship, actually paints a positive, even semi-sympathetic picture of both Coach K and JJ Redick over the course of the book. That's no mean feat for any true-blue Tar Heel. When he is not unbiased and when his most vicious zealotry gets the best of him, Blythe admits it, sometimes laments it, but always shows how that ferociousness is the whole point, no matter one's allegiance.

This is an eloquent, evocative memoir about a man facing a mid-life crossroads - to take the path of nostalgia, home, and tradition represented by his recently departed father or to continue on into his own slow twilight as a different man of different values. The basketball rivalry is not only the frame of this transition (or stasis), but in part its catalyst and its immutable touchstone. This is a fantastic book, not just for basketball fans, but for everyone who cares about good writing and heartfelt reflection.