Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them/1-Audio Cassette [Audio Cassette]

Susan Forward (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 1987

Does the man you love assume the right to control  how you live and behave?

Have you given  up important activities or people to keep him  happy?

Is he extremely jealous and  possessive?

Does he switch from charm to anger without  warning?

Does he belittle your opinions,  your feelings, or your accomplishments?

  Does he withdraw love, money, approval, or sex to  punish you?

Does he blame you for  everything that goes wrong in the relationship?

Do  you find yourself "walking on eggshells"  and apologizing all the time?

If the  questions here reveal a familiar pattern, you may be  in love with a misogynist -- a man who loves you,  yet causes you tremendous pain because he acts as  if he hates you.

In this superb self-help  guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories  and the voices of men ad women trapped in these  relationships to help you understand you man's  destructive pattern, the part you play in it, how to  break the pattern, heal the hurt, regain your  self-respect, and either rebuild your relationship or  find the courage to love a truly loving man.


From the Paperback edition.

--This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Forward is a therapist, author, and talk-show host whose specialty is abusive relationships. This book grew out of her realization that her own marriage as well as those of many of her clients followed a pattern. Many men need to control their relationships completely and consequently are mentally (if not physically) abusive. They denigrate their partners, resent them if they have any outside interests, and become furious for trivial reasons. Women with low self-esteem are drawn to these men because they can also be charming and devoted. Forward devotes the first half of the book to an analysis of the problem, the second half to breaking the pattern and getting outside help. No bibliography, but competent and interesting, and sure to be popular. Recommended for public libraries. Margaret B. Allen, M.L.S., West Lebanon,
Copyright 1986 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

"Very important and much needed...This how-to book  could be a lifesaver." -- Abigail Van Buren,  "Dear Abby"

"A must  read for any woman who has ever been in a  destructive relationship." -- Sonya Friedman,  Ph.D., author of Smart Cookies Don't  Crumble


From the Paperback edition. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Audio Cassette
• Publisher: Bantam Books-Audio (July 1987)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553450808
• ISBN-13: 978-0553450804
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 4.8 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (71 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,472,327 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #79 in Books > Books on Cassette > Nonfiction > Social Sciences > General
  • #86 in Books > Books on Cassette > Nonfiction > Social Sciences > Sociology

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

210 of 215 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book Saved my Sanity!, January 30, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Loving Hurts And You Don't Know Why (Paperback)

Finally, a book that described my relationship perfectly. So many other books address men who are physically abusive, but what about those who slowly wear you down with manipulation and subtle verbal insults - men who have great jobs, men who everyone (outside the home) think are fabulous, men who are great friends to others and great workers. I live with someone who everyone else adores, but at home he turns into Mr. Hyde. He then blames me for his change in behavior. I thought I was alone (and it was indeed my fault) until I found this book. What a difference it has made in my life. I now know, without a doubt, that his behavior is not my fault. Susan's account of how men end up resenting women is right on for this relationship. And how they redirect their childhood experiences toward their intimate partners instead of where it should be directed. One writer says she thinks these relationships can be saved. The ONLY way they can be saved is for the men to realize how they got this way and be willing to do a huge amount of work to change their behaviors towards their intimate partners. If a man cannot do this, then the relationship cannot be saved. Why waste years of your life hoping a man will change. Susan says they don't don't suffer like the women they are with and I think that is true. For the first time in my life, I developed anxiety, depression, and significant weight gain from trying to "make him see the light". I now realize that it is not worth my health to try to get a man who has deep resentment towards women to change. I hope every woman in this situation realizes that, if you talk to the man about this and he does nothing consistently to change (counseling) than you are better off leaving and resuming a normal life where you can be truly happy. If you meet someone who seems too good to be true, check him out. Does he have broken relationships & marriages? How is his relationship with his mother? If you feel uneasy about him or he starts to put you down little by little or blames you for his behaviors at home - get Susan's book, then run for your life!

77 of 80 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars May have saved my life, April 2, 2002

By 

Jill Barrett (Independence, VA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them : When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why (Paperback)

This book gave me the clarity and strength to stay out of a horrifically abusive marriage. Had I not read this, and also "Christian Men Who Hate Women," I might have gone back to my misogynistic husband. It hit me like a bolt of lightning between the eyes--finally I saw that I was never the problem, and that "forgiving" him one more time and "trusting God" and crawling back would solve nothing! In my case, the abuse and misogyny were hidden behind a facade of religiosity which was nothing but a cover for my husband's lunacy. He made me feel guilty for not being a "submissive wife" and pulled the Bible on me a lot (like other men might pull a gun on their wives and with as much malice), but this book made me see that there was no difference between my husband and rank heathen who rip their wives apart with barrages of four-letter words. His heart and intent was the same, and the results were the same--the wholesale evisceration of myself as an individual soul, personality, and essence.

I can't thank Susan Forward enough for explaining to me, in a way that I could understand, how my husband could be so wonderful one hour and so vicious the next, and that even though he claimed that he would be wonderful all the time if I would just change and be what he wanted, that was a load of crock.

I now know that my husband had every one of the warning signs that he was about to cross over into physical violence--signs such as irrational jealousy of other men and "locking me down" to prevent me from going anywhere, and that I got out in the nick of time to save myself and my children. This book whetted my appetite for more books on domestic violence which shed even more life on my hellish marriage and my need for a divorce.

Highly recommended

44 of 45 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars When he says: "They're all Whores", February 20, 2002

By 

Barbara Rose (BornToInspire.com) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them : When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why (Paperback)

If you are trying to "prove" how "good, loving, caring, genuine, interested, devoted, and loyal" you are to him, always to find yourslef being not good enough in the end, no matter how hard you try, or what you do, then this book is for you. This book will show you what you have put up with, and how to re-claim your SELF, by setting boundaries that are healthy, and deserved. If you are a guy who truly hates women, then this book will show you why, and how you can view the woman in front of you for who she genuinely is, rather than the blanket label you have attached to her based on previous negative experiences. It is eye opening in the pinpointing of behaviors, reactions, and patterns that cause us all to feel bad in the end. I highly recommend this book to any woman who loves a man she can never please,and any to man who does not "want to love" a woman.