Have one to sell?
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See all 2 images

I Hate You, Don't Leave Me Paperback – Abridged


See all 6 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from Collectible from
Hardcover
"Please retry"
$44.83 $16.71
Paperback, Abridged
"Please retry"
$45.84 $0.01
Preloaded Digital Audio Player
"Please retry"
Unknown Binding
"Please retry"

NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE

Image
Looking for the Audiobook Edition?
Tell us that you'd like this title to be produced as an audiobook, and we'll alert our colleagues at Audible.com. If you are the author or rights holder, let Audible help you produce the audiobook: Learn more at ACX.com.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: HarperCollins; 1.2.1991 edition (February 1, 1991)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0380713055
  • ISBN-13: 978-0380713059
  • Product Dimensions: 6.9 x 4.2 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (177 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #26,455 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) has been in the official psychiatric lexicon only since 1980. "Borderlines," according to the authors, are people who suffer from a weak sense of identity and a fear of abandonment; given to rapid mood swings, impulsive self-destructiveness and violent outbursts, they frequently have family backgrounds marked by alcoholism, child abuse or emotional distance. Kreisman, a psychiatrist who heads a BPD unit in a St. Louis hospital, and health writer Straus, speculate that the BPD diagnosis might be applicable to Marilyn Monroe, Adolph Hitler, T. E. Lawrence and Muammar al Qaddafi. They claim that BPD afflicts over 10 million Americans and is the most common disorder among hospitalized mental patients. This clinically written primer leaves the reader with the impression that BPD syndrome is a catchall category.
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Customer Reviews

I have read this book cover-to-cover and it is a GEM.
Criminologist99
I would recommend this book to anyone directly or indirectly coping with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Stephanie Marie Baweja
This book points an accusing finger at people suffering from BPD, makes them out to be "bad people".
Jaemy Mccall

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

157 of 162 people found the following review helpful By Wendy Kaplan on February 3, 2002
Format: Paperback
Before I begin, let me say that I do not suffer from BPD, and can only guess at the anguish associated with this disorder. I have noticed that several BPD sufferers have great issue with this book, and I thoroughly respect that.
For me, however, it was an enormous help. I found it recommended on a website with information on Borderline Personality Disorder. I had just ended a very painful and confusing relationship with a person I suspected might have BPD, and I wanted more information as a layperson, to heal myself, not him (it was too late in our relationship for that). I had experienced the "I hate you, don't leave me" syndrome with him repeatedly, until finally it became simply "I hate you." I was doubting myself, confused, angry, hurt--the works.
This book put things in perspective for me in a way I could understand. I am philosophically opposed to "self-help" books, but in this case, I used the book as a tool to help me heal from my failed relationship. My copy of this book is dogeared, underlined, there are my comments scribbled in the margins, and notes to myself are on the endflaps. Recently, I dug out the book and reread it. I still found it an enormous and enlightening help.
Therefore, I recommend the book highly to those who need a place to begin in understanding BPD. It is too simplistic to be exhaustive, but it provides enough information, for me at least, to know where to go to seek more depth.
1 Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
572 of 611 people found the following review helpful By Patty E. Fleener on June 16, 2000
Format: Paperback
I am Patty Pheil of Borderline Personality Disorder Today. This book, as far as I know is the first book about the BPD written for the consumer. The book in and of itself is excellent and filled with good information. However, many borderlines have felt suicidal after reading this book if this is the first book they read about the BPD. Why? Simply because this book was written awhile back before much was known about how certain medications can be extremely helpful with many of the BPD symptoms such as rage, depression, mood swings, etc. Therefore the book was written with good information but the aspect of hope and recovery is not in this book. One feels hopeless after reading this book. This was the first book I read about the BPD and that is how I felt - more disturbed and hopeless. This is not the author's fault however. He simply wrote the book at a time where there wasn't much known about treatment. It would be great to have this great information along with the new drug treatment in a new edition.
21 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
405 of 437 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on November 30, 1998
Format: Paperback
I found this book to be very useful in helping me understand the behavior of a woman with whom I was involved. It was recommended to me by my therapist who was treating me for depression because of the traumatic relationship I had with a borderline.
Kreisman and Straus do an excellent job of explaining the root causes, behaviors, and treatment of the disorder as well as coping skills for dealing with a person with BPD. Although the relationship was turbulent and ended disastrously, I found a great deal of comfort in the book because it explained how and why a borderline behaves the she does. I learned that I indeed had narcissistic tendencies which drew me toward women with clinging and idealizing behavior, but then devaluating and vengeful behavior. Basically I was involved in a hostile/dependent ( narcissistic / borderline ) relationship. It made me take a serious look at my self. I also have learned to be a lot more cautious about who I relate with in my life.
Borderlines are not evil, just very vengeful and scared people. If you are involved in any capacity with someone who exhibits primitive idealization, devaluation, omnipotence, projection, or projective identification and seems irrational, this person may have BPD. This book will help you learn principles to help cope with a borderline. I sure wish I had access to it when I was involved with one.
I think this is among the books which have had the most positive impact on my life. This book will help you identify and understand borderline behavior as well as cope with those who are afflicted with this misunderstood and painful disorder. I hope you will find it useful as I have.
11 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
52 of 54 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 12, 2001
Format: Paperback
This amazing little book litteraly fell off the shelf at my feet in Borders one night. The title intrigued me, so I took it home. Then it saved my life. I had begun to question not only my husband's sanity, but my own...but, this book gave me a name for it - BPD. This little book validated me. It also gave me coping methods and such a great understanding. I realized that this is an illness and I didn't have to take these behaviors personally. This book is more clinical than Stop Walking On Eggshells, but even the non-medical person should be able to gain great insight and understanding of their partner's (or parent's, or friend's, or co-worker's, etc.) behavior. The authors don't mince words. This is a difficult disorder to deal with and very difficult to live with. This book, even though I bought it, has been a huge gift for me. If the title makes sense to you, then read the book. You won't be sorry!
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
38 of 41 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 24, 2001
Format: Paperback
I found this an extremely helpful and sophisticated basic guide. Many readers seem to feel it is too negative, but for someone who feels perplexed and hopeless about life with a "borderline", it offers the reassurance that what seems like pure craziness on the part of a loved one actually corresponds to defineable complex of traits and behaviors. Loving a borderline can be a very lonely and frustrating experience, and this book offers support, insight and qualified hope in simple language, and without the annoying dumbed-down tone of most self-help books. I admit to having read it around ten years ago, and I will explore other guides recommended by readers. On the other hand, I have noticed that Prozac, Paxil, etc. don't work as an all purpose panacea for everyone with BPD. Paxil may control one symptom (borderline rage) while not alleviating another (depression, sense of worthlessness). Even if this book doesn't help borderlines themselves, I believe it does help their intimates find ways to be more creative and patient supporters and to take conflicts less personally.
1 Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Product Images from Customers

Most Recent Customer Reviews

Search
ARRAY(0x9e14ddc8)