I Hate You--Don't Leave Me and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more
Buy New
$9.04
Qty:1
  • List Price: $16.00
  • Save: $6.96 (44%)
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
Gift-wrap available.
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See all 2 images

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality Paperback – December 7, 2010


See all 10 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
Paperback
"Please retry"
$9.04
$7.44 $4.97


Frequently Bought Together

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality + Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder + The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells
Price for all three: $34.88

Some of these items ship sooner than the others.

Buy the selected items together

Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought

NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE

Best Books of the Month
Best Books of the Month
Want to know our Editors' picks for the best books of the month? Browse Best Books of the Month, featuring our favorite new books in more than a dozen categories.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Perigee Trade; Rev Upd edition (December 7, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0399536213
  • ISBN-13: 978-0399536212
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (187 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,706 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"...a book that may save you a lot of time and wasted, misguided pain in dealing with a loved one (with Borderline Personality Disorder)."
-SystemsThinker.com

"...a good resource for professionals and families, because it provides therapists with concrete ideas to incorporate both instruction and hope into their practice by providing patients and their families suggestions in simple, non-condescending language. It is by far the best book on the market on BPD."
-Anita Biase, strugglingteens.com

About the Author

Jerold J. Kreisman, MD, is a clinician and educator who founded one of the first acute care facilities in the world designed specifically for borderline patients. HAL STRAUS has been a professional medical/health writer and editor for more than twenty-five years. They are also the authors of Sometimes I Act Crazy: Living with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Hal Straus has been a professional medical/health writer and editor for more than twenty-five years. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

More About the Authors

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Very informative and an easy book to read.
Tyfanni Cassidy
A great book if you are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder or are with someone that has it.
Ashley
It can be hell, and this helped me understand it much better.
Jim

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

70 of 73 people found the following review helpful By Jim on May 8, 2013
Format: Paperback
First, my degrees are in Pscyhology and Sociology, but we had not studied Borderline Personality Disorders. However, when my wife was diagnosed as being borderline, they suggested this book. I would have sworn, they followed her around and just made notes as they wrote the book. The accuracy of the issues, problems, behaviors, etc.... were spot on. Ironcially, all of the things they suggest in how to handle a borderline, were what I was doing. It reinforced to keep doing them, which did help over the long run. It can be hell, and this helped me understand it much better. It also helps people keep their "perspective" about things, and to not get sucked in at the same time.

It should be mandatory reading for anyone dealing with a person who has a borderline personality disorder.
3 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
122 of 133 people found the following review helpful By Bill Your 'Free Form FM Print DJ on December 30, 2010
Format: Paperback
This is a great book if you are dealing with a person with Borderline Personality Disorder

You may not know you are. But if you know a person who sees you as all good and then all bad, smothers you one minute and rejects you the next, and has shaky identity, they likely have BPD. People who have this problem often grew up in abusive situations and never learned to form healthy attachments. They crave relationships but can't tolerate them when they materialize.***

I know therapists who treat only a limited number of people with this disorder: they are the hardest to work with because their symptoms can be so contradictory. These people can suck dry even the most skilled and compassionate clinician. Imagine how hard it is for a layperson.

'But people with BPD can get better, and that is where this book comes in. Your are not going to cure them, but by consistency, limit setting and other tools this book outlines, you can live, love and work with them if you want or have to.

***No. Not all single men have BPD.
7 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Format: Audible Audio Edition Verified Purchase
Good audio performance--excellent narration. The problem is the content; it's just dry and very "medical" (and I'm saying that as a doctor). Two views of BPD can be categorized as either medical or psychosocial. I think the psychosocial view provides a better understanding that helps nonBPDs understand what they are dealing with. With all due respect for this book as the classic, I think "Stop Walking on Eggshells" is better, and I also recommend Engel's "The Emotionally Abusive Relationship" which has a large section on BPD and other personality disorders and very excellent practical tools.
7 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
34 of 36 people found the following review helpful By Makaveli on November 13, 2013
Format: Paperback
I've been diagnosed with BPD and (c)PTSD since i was in my teens. and over, and over, and then once more. this is one of the few books on BPD i actually really like, or love even, because it actually talks about borderline as it REALLY is.

we are not evil people, nor are we narcissistic.

this book is perfect -to me- because they don't make BPD into a "walking on egg shells" issue. which it may be to some family and friends, but, i (most bpd) try to go over the top and beyond for others in a good way. we fear rejection and the most simple (to you) things such as eye movement at "wrong" (to me) time can mean rejection and fear, thus the wall falls and anger is my wall.

there is so much more detail to who we are, i am not the spokesman for BPD but speaking for myself there are so many things i wish i could do and/or change about who i am both within BPD and outside of it. i don't wish to be like this, and i think this book shows very well the reasons and gives amazing details and comparisons so non-BPD people can hopefully understand us a bit more.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
42 of 46 people found the following review helpful By David on October 7, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This was suggested to me by a counselor. My wife and I went to a marriage counselor 4 times before she stopped going because it wasn't her priority. I recently started going back to the counselor on my own in an attempt to get advise on how to communicate and interact with my wife when she has sudden and unexplained outbursts of anger, irrational accusations and contradicting arguments. I just finished reading the book and was amazed at how similar the content was to what I have been subjected to and experiencing.

The chapter discussing how to communicate with a BPD person was very informative and I've attepted to apply the method but my wife insists everyone is ganging up on her, stabbing her in the back and that she can't trust anyone... even me. She refuses to acept any responsiblity for her behavior.

One thing that has become very clear to me after reading this book is that until a BPD person acepts responsibility for the things they say and do and that it's not everyone else, it will always be a struggle. My greatest fear is the potential impact on our daughters as they grow up and witness their mother's unexplained outbursts.

Very informative and worth reading for anyone who is on the receiving end of unexplained and unpredictable outbursts of anger/rage, unexplained accusations, manipulative comments, and attempts to make you feel like you're always the problem.
1 Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
45 of 52 people found the following review helpful By avidreader on July 27, 2011
Format: Paperback
This book caught my attention by the title. I am a sufferer of BPD and "I hate you - don't leave me" are words I find myself speaking frequently without really understanding why. This book explains the symptoms and causes of BPD, as well as healing and treatment. I am so glad I found this book!
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again