Customer Reviews

I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie

5 star:		(25)
4 star:		(14)
3 star:		(8)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(11)

 

 

I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie is a great title, but it doesn't really sum up this book. It's a collection of reviews of movies rated between zero and two stars - and if you know Roger Ebert's ratings system, you'll know that two stars isn't by any means a total pan. And that's where the book gets weak.

The zero to one star reviews are truly funny; it's quite amusing to read the distillation of bitterness and hatred that comes from forcing a movie lover to sit through a terrible movie. On another level, it's also quite amusing to try to imagine how these movies ever got made in the first place - some of them leave you wondering how it is that the producers did not notice they didn't have a script until after shooting started. Others leave you wondering why the actors and director didn't take the easy way out and simply kill themselves rather than complete the movie.

Unfortunately, the book is padded with reviews of some movies that it appears Ebert only disliked. And mild dislike doesn't give rise to the same kind of humor as loathing does. Had these reviews been cut, the book would probably have been 50 pages shorter, and it would have been a riot from beginning to end, albeit one that left you with a serious disinclination to go to the movies. (Or, depending on the kind of person you are, with a strong *inclination* to head for the video rental store.)

If the editor, author, or publisher truly felt the need to extend the book beyond the despised movies, it would have been much more gripping and entertaining to include a few four-star reviews - maybe one per chapter? - to show what the other end of the spectrum looked like. That would also have staved off the erroneous impression this book can leave - that either Ebert hates everything or every movie is terrible.

My advice: read it, but not too quickly. There's a limit to how much badness the human constitution can stand. Remember, Ebert didn't see all these movies at one sitting, either.

It could be argued that Ebert is truly at his best when he is savagely attacking the worst films ever made. While his criticism is always sharp and insightful, his negative reviews are much more entertaining, employing sarcasm, bitterness, and outright hatred for the drivel he must endure. The book provides a diverse selection, ranging from the early 1970s to more recent disasters. Although he attacks small, obscure works, he is much more satisfied attacking the giants; the "sacred cows" of cinema that, by virtue of their budgets, are believed to be above criticism. Ebert is dedicated to his craft and would probably prefer to spend his time in the company of classics, but few individuals display such giddiness when given the "privilege" of witnessing true cinematic chaos. His humor is to our benefit.

This is Roger Ebert's greatest book. Everything about it is absolutely splendid, from the cover photograph, to the last word of the index. I have always been a fan of bad movies, and I enjoy seeing what doesn't work cinematically as much as what does. This is a collection of Ebert's best reviews on the subject of what decidedly does not work.

Ebert is always a quick wit, and though I don't always agree with him, I always find his writing insightful to illuminating his point of view. In this book, though, I believe that I am in complete agreement on all the movies that I have seen. Indeed, some of these reviews are so well written and intriguing, I had to see the film in question just to know if it could be that bad. For instance after reading about the silly character names, the telepathic parrots and the man eating vegetables, I just HAD to see "At The Earth's Core". It is unquestionably as wretched as Ebert says, and I delighted in its badness. I have now set my sights on "North", but that is allegedly much harder to watch.

If you want an accounting of mostly big budget cinematic fiascoes, this is the book for you. I hope Ebert writes another book soon called 'More Movies I Hated, Hated, Hated.'

What is it with the desire to read reviews of bad movies, some of them now thirty years out of date? It's the intellectual equivalent of craning your head out the car window to look at a roadside wreck. The only possible motive I can conceive of wanting to read this fairly hefty collection (almost 300 pages) of reviews panning movies is that the reader wants to gloat that, at least, if nothing else, I'm not in here, haw haw haw.

And yet it's a fun read. Time and again many of us have read books that tell us which movies are worth seeing, but seldom have we read any that warn us away from turkeys. And rarely, if we have encountered lists of bad movies, have we encountered any with Roger Ebert's biting wit and insight.

Many people dismiss Ebert because of his willful attempts to connect with the middle-brow audience rather than aiming either high or low, but remember, it's the middle who forks over the largest share of their hard-earned money to get an eyeful of these films. Personally, I like Ebert, and have found him the most consistently trustworthy critic out there to my personal taste. Generally, if he says a movie is great, I can be sure I'll agree; if he says a certain picture should go take a flying leap, I know it's one I should skip.

Not everyone will agree with the opinions of this book. I certainly don't. For example, I thought "Patch Adams," though very imperfect, was at least humorous. Ebert panned it. Likewise, I thought the prints of "Titanic" should be recycled into toilet paper spindles and be put to some constructive use; in a side note, Ebert calls the film "brilliant." And one movie Ebert shreds in here, "The Last Movie," has appeared in another book I own as one of the 100 most-neglected movies you should run out and rent right now.

Still, even when you think Ebert is wrong, there's little doubt that his gifts for sarcasm, subtle irony, and word play make this book a fun read. It's a worthy weigh-in to the ongoing debate over what's worth including in the motion picture canon. And it's entertaining for weekend film buffs who like to rubberneck at car wrecks.

He HATED those movies. HATED them. AHH! It would be easy perhaps to portray this book as a useless rant from a self-indulgent critic, but here's the catch: Ebert is a thoughtful, insightful, and absolutely hilarious critic. And he knows how to write. Honestly, I havn't seen many of the movies in this book, but have sat down and read for many hours of entertainment, pure and sinful. Ebert is insulted by these movies, they're a waste of his and our time, and so isn't reading the book also a waste? No! Well, it can be a guilty pleasure if you're used to reading Tolstoy and other great authors in western literature (like me? umm, no), but this book is worth while for the pure entertainment value of his humorous and throughly intelligent wrath. This is a guy who respects--and has built a life around--movies, and he really, REALLY resents an awful one.
Allow me to quote: "I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it." What movie? Well you'll have to get the book. (Hint: p. 262) And it's on TV a lot. In the late morning.
Anyway, the reviews, believe it or not, are all quite distinctive (many are more in-depth than the above quote). Ebert is a great critic with a great sense of humor that seldom comes through as it does in this book. For movie lovers and casual fans alike, anyone will be seriously (ha, ha!)entertained by the razor-sharp commentary of this book.
Allow me to leave you with a parting thought:
"[This] is the first movie I have seen that does not improve the sight of a blank screen viewed for the same amount of time..."

If there was ever a specific audience for this book, I am firmly in it: unaware that it existed, I spent much of my boring summer at the Chicago Sun-Times website, looking up every Roger Ebert review that ran from zero to one and a half stars. Imagine my delight upon finding out that I could read this, a permanent copy of his reviews of some of the worst movies from the 1960's to today!

The book even seems to have been tailor-made for those who are curious about certain films that came before 1985 (which is as far back as the Sun-Times website goes): here you will find Ebert's comments on such infamous stuff as "Heaven's Gate," "I Spit On Your Grave," "Bolero," "Caligula," Neil Diamond's version of "The Jazz Singer," and "Sidney Sheldon's Bloodline." Overall, the book is a great cross-section of his approach to bad films, be they hilarious skewerings or sober warnings. I enjoy watching movies this bad, but if I never see most of them, reading comments like these is almost entertainment enough.

The only things I could find to complain about would be the occasional bit of editing to shorten some of the text. In particular, Ebert's controversial comments on "Blue Velvet" are included here in the shorter, more standard version, which I didn't find to be nearly as interesting as the longer review in which he includes comments by David Lynch and makes note of what other critics have said.

Also, so many more films are out there! Where's the followup? Did Ebert ever see "Mandingo?" "The Amityville Horror?" "Valley of the Dolls?" "Exorcist II: The Heretic?" What about the ones that have cropped up since the book's publishing, such as "Antitrust," "Tomcats," "Dungeons and Dragons," and good God, "Battlefield Earth?" I'd love to see more of these turkeys immortalized in a second volume, and I'm sure there are others as nerdy as me who would enjoy the same.

I picked up this book in a book store while my girlfriend was shopping. I sat in a chair and read for a while. When she finished and said she was going to another store, I said "I'll just sit here and read this." She came back an hour later and I was still reading, so I figured I should buy the book.

I couldn't put it down because I was FINALLY reading real criticism. Plenty of movie critics are just cheerleaders; they praise every major Hollywood movie, no matter how brain-dead it is. But Roger Ebert has the guts (or the clout, as America's most powerful film critic) to slam a movie when it deserves it. And, let's face it, a LOT of movies from the past 20 years are very, very bad.

Ebert doesn't make the mistake of picking on low-budget trash. That's like kicking a man when he's down. Instead, he gives zero stars to big-budget films featuring well-known stars. My favorite example is "Her Alibi," starring Tom Selleck. In this movie, a house is blown up as Selleck and his supermodel sidekick escape. Half an hour later, they return to the same house. The filmmakers forgot it had blown up earlier in the story.

Ebert's reviews are full of these bits of information. It's a lot of fun to read. Hopefully, he will write a sequel --- but not just a collection of MORE reviews of really bad movies. He should take all those reviews and turn it into a lighthearted analysis of why Hollywood makes so many zero-star films.

Halfway through this book I decided to come back here and give this review. This is the funniest and most entertaining book I've read in a long, long time, and I read a *lot* of books that claim to be funny and entertaining. Almost every single one of the reviews has had something that's made me laugh out loud, which is rare nowadays. I can't recommend this book highly enough. It's also quite interesting to see how Ebert's style has evolved from back in the late 1960's through 1999. A fine book from a man on the side of all that is good and intelligent.

Roger Ebert is perhaps the best writer working in newspapers today. Most people, I realize, will scoff at such a statement: He's just a movie reviewer, after all. But if Ebert were on the op-ed page of the New York Times he would be regarded as the finest political mind of America; he chooses to write about film, so he is known as the finest film critic of America.

Ebert is at his best when he is reviewing movies he detests; he himself has acknowledged (in Questions for the Movie Answer Man, another book I highly recommend) that reviews of great films are sometimes sleep-inducing. Unlike most movie reviewers, he couldn't care less what is popular with the general public; he realizes that we don't need someone telling us what we like, we need someone expressing a clear opinion of what he likes.

The reviews appear as they were written when Ebert first saw the film, though I at times wished he would have included some comments with the benefit of 20-20 hindsight. For example: When he bashed "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective," no one knew what a huge star Jim Carrey would become. A note from Ebert following that review about his opinions of Carrey today would have been interesting.

Still, this book has provided me with more laughs than anything I've read since High Fidelity, and it is full of little gems, like the notes Ebert took during his viewing of "Exit to Eden."

Movie fans already know they can count on Ebert for expert analysis of the latest films, but everyone should read this collection of his work. You can find reviews of the great films anywhere, but Roger Ebert is one of the few people who can make his reviews of bad movies much more entertaining than the movies themselves.

As soon as I heard about this book, I knew I had to buy it immediately. Roger Ebert is one of the best reviewers around, and I must admit that I'd rather read a savage review than a glowing one any day. This book contains some of the most hilarious writing on film I've ever had the pleasure of encountering -- check out his reviews of "Little Indian, Big City" or "Jack Frost." There are also reviews of films he was truly revolted by, such as "Caligula" and "I Spit On Your Grave." Sure, much of it is available on the Sun Times' web site, but I still find a lot of enjoyment in thumbing through a real book. Besides, this is the sort of volume you'll want to leave on your coffee table for all of your friends to enjoy!