Customer Reviews

Hating Women: America's Hostile Campaign Against the Fairer Sex

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

I read this book in a bookstore without first realizing that it was authored by a rabbi.

Because I have become so accustomed to religious figures parading their own beliefs as an excuse to oppress women, it was refreshing to hear a man critique the Playboy/Miss America culture which we live in and simultaneously praise the feminist movement for their ongoing work in challenging this culture.

He is explicit in mentioning that the challenging of a woman hating culture has and must continue to include the expansion of women's political and legal rights. He wants to quickly and easily distinguish himself from the social conservatives (religious and otherwise) who bemoan an oversexualized media----and then use their public support to attempt shuttering women back into our homes allegedly where we all belong. Thankfully, Boteach has a different agenda.

Sex sells in America, and this co modification ultimately harms both sexes; we see each other as being possessions to be acquired and used rather than partners and equals. Women however, have historically borne the brunt of this mistreatment and (when compared against world/American history) have only been allowed into the public sphere. He deals with a grim subject matter, but Boteach is optimistic that society can and will change.

I believe that his desire to reach all people with this book is the only reason why Boteach focused on popular culture as opposed to religious images as also oppressing women. Considering this author has lots to say on many issues, a religious perspective on this issue might provide good material for another book.

This book was very readable and actually did give me new things to think about.

This is the one. After ending a long relationship twelve years ago, I was back in the dating game. After a couple of so-so short term relationships and hundreds of dates, I started to think there was something wrong with me, though in the back of my mind something seemed different about the men I was meeting compared to the men I dated even just a decade or two ago. I bought every relationship book out there, The Rules, Why Men Like Bitches, Mars and Venus, etc., but none of them have made me feel like this book has. This book has finally put into words for me what I've been feeling deep down inside for a long time. Although, I still feel like I may never meet a gentleman, I realize now that's it's not my fault. Most of the other relationship books seem to overtly or subtlety say we (women) need to change somehow to "get" a man. Now this is not a book about how we can "get" a man or is even that encouraging that we may ever meet a real gentleman, but it is a book that finally tells a woman that it's right to expect manners, respect and class from men and although it may be lonely, it's the only real spiritual way to go. Although, I've been dumped for women who will "put out right away", be willing to fight over a womanizer, and in general bend over backwards to attract and keep these creeps, I now feel, after reading this book, that it's ok. I'm better off not stooping to the level of these woman just to get a guy like that. Believe me, there have been many times that I felt tempted and wondered what was wrong with me, was I missing something. There are many woman willing to cross our picket lines, but I do believe as Rabbi Shmuley does, that they lose in the end anyway. In this one book I feel Rabbi Shmuley is giving me the advice that I never really received from my parents or anyone else. It will really change my life.

A brilliant voice in this, addressing issues that have affected me, personally and generally. Boteach simply indicates that women are being held to next-to-impossible, fascist, beauty standards, and that the media has turned the image of women into that of giggly, bimbettes who dress like tramps and are expected to be one of The Boys' Club. He discusses the death/decline of chivalry and the gentleman due to a truely bizarre cultural acceptance of the frat-boy image. He indicates the constant pornographic images and slogans that bombard us via junk email, so much so that we've grown immune to it. Boteach even mentions that women are turning to other women for relationships because they're finding themselves unable to turn into that very image men are practically & subliminally forced to desire rather than what they really may want and actually need.

I wish everyone would read this. It's an eye-opener.

This book is so true. Why is it that women are so upset with this book....with the truth. Every thing Shmuley says is so on target, women have given their power away and accepted being treated like sex objects. Just look at the entertainers girls idolize, they are strippers and behave like whores, all under the umbrella as being entertainers. Why do women fight against the message that we should demand respect and that we should stop dressing like whores and that we should stop seeing ourselves as nothing more than sexual objects. Until women start seeing themselves as beings that deserve respect men won't see us that way. I think Shmuley is brave to tell the truth.

This is one of my favorite books because it really changed by life. It made me reclaim my dignity as a woman. I just wish I had read it back in high school instead of in my 40s. I hope the rabbi writes more books like this. Thank you for writing this book Rabbi Shmuley!

This book needed to be written. Somebody needed to speak up and complain LOUDLY about how women are portrayed in the media these days. I'm not sure it needed to be an orthodox religious leader, however. The rabbi's knowledge of Jewish culture and tradition is beyond my ability to comment on. But his understanding of European history--and his assertion that "in the old days" women were treated better than they are now--are faulty. I appreciate his motivation and the effort he is making to improve the lot of women in today's society, but historically he's on very shaky ground.

That is how I felt on finding this book. Profoundly relieved and thankful that someone is finally saying these things. For the record, I am not a conservative. I am a feminist, and most would consider me a liberal. I have long been concerned, along with a few underground feminist sisters, about the misogyny the author names so clearly.

The amazon reviewer who says the author blames feminism apparently didn't read that closely. The author praises feminism for expanding women's rights. He levels his criticisms against the "sex object as freedom" idea that took it over. I have no problem with that. Fighting the sex object role has long been one of feminism's objectives. Exposure as empowerment is a terrible theft of feminist goals and ideals.

As he so clearly points out (on page 5), dehumanizing a group, historically, has been a prelude to oppression of that group. He makes excellent parallels between racist dehumanization and that of women. (Example: he speculates about the audience for a show like "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire," one where members of an ethnic minority compete for the friendship of a man they think is wealthy.)

The book is a call for women in particular to speak out, and a lamentation on women's silence.

Certainly, since the '70s, women who protested have been accused of being against either free speech or sex; usually by the same liberals who unconditionally support the right of protest for other groups.

Such accusations have so effectively smothered free and open discussion that we have today a society where hate can proceed, unchecked, to unbelievable extremes. Worse still, women themselves have taken up the banner of accusing activists of being agaist sex/freedom/whatever. The author has run into that on several occaisions. His thoughtful rebuttals were refreshing to read.

Perhaps it's ironic that it takes a man, a loving husband and caring father, to speak out on this issue. In this culture, sadly, it is true that a man's still word carries greater weight than a woman's.

On another level, for me at least, it is what I have been wanting to see, but have despaired I ever would: a man standing up for women, against this male privilege of dehumanizing entertainment. A man who realizes that, yes, this affects and endangers the girls and women he cares about and that yes, it is the role of the true man, and all good human beings, to stand against it.

If liberation equals taking off your clothes in front of a camera and acting stupid, why aren't men doing it too? Why aren't men feeling like they are being degraded and missing out? Because it's not liberation, it's degradation.
Shmuley is brilliant. Women should read this book and look at the true meaning and stop being so stubborn. He is not at all wanting to push women into the dark ages, he wants society to hold us high based on our offerings of intellegence. He clearly states over and over that he thinks women are superior to men...how is that pushing us back? How is that degrading?
I am a woman and I believe this book is a must read for all women. This book is deeply cherished by me.
Thank you Shmuley for this book. You give a spark of hope for a better world for my 12 year old daughter. Good men do exist.
P.S.
We do not watch any TV in our home other than PBS kids. We do not go to the movies except for maybe twice a year to watch only a movie PG or under. Yes, we do have a life for those who are curious, just like people used to have a life before TV. It's possible.

This is another much needed rebuke from Rabbi Shmuley to men in America. Sure, we can blame women celebrities for encouraging young women to show skin for money...but it's the men who create that demand.

This isn't about religion. This is about being decent people. This is about treating women the way you would want your mother, wife, daughter, and daughter in laws, etc. to be treated by other men.

Rabbi Shmuley makes some great points in this book about the media's campaign against women. Stereotyping minorities has almost become a crime in America, except for when it comes to stereo-typing women. You can portray them as stupid, money-hungry, bimbos and you'll get higher ratings. Why aren't the sponsors pulling their ads from shows that portray women this way? As a Hispanic, I would NEVER support any sponsor who supported a show that stereotyped Hispanics. And so why should it be any different when some of the most important people in my life are women?

This book is a good read for both Jew and non-Jew alike. While Rabbi Shmuley is definitely a religious person, he doesn't seek to push Judaism on his readers (though he does encourage some form of Sabbath and family purity ritual keeping, but only for practical purposes, which he clearly explains in his books). Although I felt the book could have been much shorter, I'm giving it 5 stars for the importance of the message is communicates.

After reading this book, I think I now understand why all the feminist women of my generation have seemingly disappeared. Namely, their efforts to elevate women have been replaced by a social system which has a totally different agenda for "the fairer sex."

I certainly didn't agree with every point Boteach made in this book, but I did find his examination of the current roles of women to be interesting and not too far off the mark.

If you ever considered yourself a feminist, if you have daughters, nieces, a female grandchild, you might want to give this thought-provoking book a read.

Linda Painchaud-Steinman, Park Edge Books