Customer Reviews

The Haunted Vagina

5 star:		(31)
4 star:		(14)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

Wow, we have another mind-blowing book from Bizarro high priest, Father Mellick. What if your girlfriend's vagina was a gateway to another universe? What would you find there?

Thematically similiar to "Razor Wire Pubic Hair," "the Haunted Vagina" is an exploration of the female body and the power it can hold over men (figuratively and literally). The tale is dark, disturbing, and funny. But most importantly, it causes the reader to think. If you have ever been in love, this book will pose some unsettling questions.

I am also pleased to say that this book features some of Mellick's best characterization. Sometimes Mellick's characters become secondary to the strangeness of the story; not in this book. You will be consumed with and his relationships in the real world and in the vagina world.

Don't let the small size fool you. There is a lot to this book. Highly, Highly recommended.

Steve falls madly in love with Stacy, but it isn't until they move in together that he hears voices coming from Stacy's southern junction. When a skeletal creature makes it's was through Stacy into their world, Stacy convinces Steve he must go exploring to find out where this mysterious passage leads. After his fist foray, Steve almost doesn't make it back from the alternate world, but the next time Stacy sets him up for a full spelunking.

This is by far one of Mellick's best books ever. The alternate world is rich and mysterious, and occasionally frightening. The sheer strangeness of the tale will keep you turning pages until the end. My only complaint is that the book is short; I could have stayed much longer in Stacy's southern hemisphere. I highly recommend this book for aficionados of horror, punk, cult, or outlandish fiction. Enjoy!

This is only my 4th CM3 title, but it's definitely one of the best. From the opening line, I was hooked. (truth be told, the author's note is one of the best one-liners I've read this year) This book reads very quickly; in just a single sitting, but it leaves its mark in your head. It does a great job of defining characters, which is odd for something this short, that you want to read more about. In fact, the only bad thing I can say about this title is I wish it were longer. Yes, I'd like to spend more time in the Haunted Vagina, as weird as that sounds... it's completely appropriate for this author/title. The world inside this book(vagina) is vivid and bizzare. It is what you would expect from one of the genre-defining authors. I personally liked this title more than both Sea of Patchwork Cats and Punk Land; although Satan Burger remains my favorite.

You will not be disappointed, expand your imagination!

when i saw this book i was exited because i thought it was going to be symbolic in a very twisted way, after reading the book in less than one hour, (considering it only consist of about 50 pages of print, once you subtract margins and intro) i noticed that i liked everything about the book except the story, i loved his writing style and bizzaro imagery but the story line seemed to be to impulsive and ended with a very unexpected twist that leaves you kinda bummed, dont get me wrong i usually love a book that jerks you around at the end but this one just didn't impress me
-Tommy

My first introduction to Mellick's writing was also among the first Bizarro pieces I read, a short story called "Candy-Coated," about a man with a lollipop head. Since reading this story I have been in love with his writing and the worlds he is able to create. I still have several to read, but this is by far my favorite of his books so far.

"The Haunted Vagina" begins as a strange, awkward tale of a man's journey into his girlfriend's haunted vagina. It journeys through the throes of blind, obsessive love. As the protagonist slowly wades out of worshipful obsession (and deeper into the world inside his girlfriend's vagina), it becomes a story about starting over. And in the end it is a whole universe, a better, more sensible universe that is quiet, happy, and magical.

Mellick's prose is simple, direct, and beautiful and the division of the book into acts paces it excellently. He is obviously a masterful writer, he has complete control over the universes he creates and knows exactly how to show them to the reader.

I read this in one evening and loved it. It's very weird, and very fun. Mostly though, it's a great, touching, and very human story. It really draws you in. Pun intended. I'm definitely getting more of Mellick's books.

I read through this a month or so ago after I became bedridden by a bad sunburn. Me and my family were at the beach, and I was only able to really enjoy the first day of it because of the sunburn, so I figured I'd read some Bizarro to take my mind off of things. Well, it worked - this book had me laughing, thinking, and forgetting about my sunburn within minutes.

Basically the plot is about a man who, Indiana Jones style, ventures into his girlfriend's vagina after a skeleton-thing crawls out of it and attacks him. Needless to say, the vagina is haunted, and the protagonist has to figure out why. After making it inside of her vagina, he finds a world he could have never imagined and perhaps one he may never escape.

I found a lot of things in the book relevant to my life, just as I do with all the Mellick books I read. From THV, I found that sometimes your girlfriend's wide expanse of a love-crevice is filled with strange and undeniable wonder. Also, I found that sometimes the love that's forced on you can be stronger than you would have ever thought.

All in all, this is a great CM3 book, and one I would highly recommend.

This was the second Mellick book I ever read and it holds a special place in my heart. Besides having all the great bizarro elements we have come to expect from CM3, THV is, along with The Morbidly Obese Ninja, one of Mellick's most bittersweet stories. What begins as a ghost story quickly turns into an amazing, surreal and bizarre adventures into the depths of a woman. The world Mellick creates inside the haunted vagina is unlike anything else in literature and the trip is so much fun I guarantee readers that they'll be left craving more. Also, THV is probably one of the weirdest and most creative love stories ever written. If you like bizarro, buy it. If you don't like bizarro, buy it anyway. If you're new to bizarro, this is a perfect book to get your started and one that will surely bring you back for more Mellick as soon as you're done.

Since discovering Mellick I have only read a few of his books but have not been disappointed in any of them. The story as others have said is about a world that exists in the main character Steve's girlfriend. While not as gory as some of his other offerings this is still an excellent read and one that may leave you with questions about your own relationship when reaching the end. Highly recommend!

As with all of Mellick's books, this is yet another addictive and completely original story. Without giving away spoilers, Mellick manages to take you on a journey with his trademark and eye-popping descriptions. He has a real talent for character details and I found this story as compelling as his past work. What I probably love most about his work is that nothing is predicable and you never know what the next page will bring.

I was surprised, however, at the number of typos throughout the narrative. With the shorter page count, there is no excuse for not proofreading the text. I don't recall his other books being like this, so I'm guessing The Haunted Vagina had a different editor or copy editor. Regardless, this material was very enjoyable to read and is definitely recommended. Of course, for adults only.