Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You? (Second Edition) [Paperback]

Jordan Paul Ph.D. (Author), Margaret Paul Ph.D. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 15, 2002

Arguing with your spouse about the checkbook? The in-laws? Kids' schedules? Couples think they fight about money, family issues, and time. But what are these conflicts really about? Family therapists Jordan Paul and Margaret Paul reveal how couple discord is often rooted in self-protection. Here, in their best-selling book, they help couples work through fears and false beliefs that block expression of loving feelings. The result? A freer, more joyful, and profoundly intimate relationship.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"(They) have written something very wonderful that speaks to everyone. I enjoyed it immensely and learned a great deal." ALI MACGRAW

"A raritysimple, profound, and full of hope!" DAVID VISCOTT, M.D., "Risking" and "The Language of Feelings" -- Endorsement

"A Book which makes all other texts about relationships finally understandable." EDDIE SCHWARTZ -- Skyway News, Minneapolis

"I have read and enjoyed your very valuable book. It is a real gift to those in relationship" TEV. TERRY COLE-WHITTAKER, author of "What You Think of Me Is None of My Business" -- Endorsement

"The most important, useful and powerful book I have read on couple therapy since Virginia Satirs Conjoint Family Therapyone of the rare books that is both useful to the lay audience and indispensable for the clinician." DENNIS JAFFE, PH.D., author of "Healing From Within" -- Endorsement

"fascinating material for readers to test in their own lives." RUCH C. IKERMAN, Los Angeles Times -- Los Angeles Times --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

About the Author

Dr. Jordan Paul is a fulfillment coach, psychotherapist, college professor, author, business consultant, and motivational speaker. Dr. Paul has co-authored four books, including the national best seller Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? In addition, he is a contributing author to Community Building: Renewing Spirit & Learning in Busyness'. Paul's latest book The Heart of the Matter: Achieving true personal power, illuminates new and practical ideas for bringing fulfillment into all areas of life.Jordan Paul is a nationally known expert in conflict resolution and has created and taught workshops in conflict resolution since 1975.He was President of Effective Communities International, a consulting and training company. In Effective Communities International, Dr. Paul brought together a multi-talented group of highly skilled professionals to develop programs that taught the leadership skills necessary for building effective communities in business, education, religion, and family. The focus of ECI programs was on teaching leaders how to respond to differences with the behaviors that build trust. ECI worked with Community Leadership Programs in various cities throughout the United States, developing programs with Marin Interfaith Council, and Episcopal Churches in Northern California, and consulting with many businesses, including Xerox and 3M.Dr. Paul is a very popular motivational speaker who has spoken to a wide range of organizations from the World Business Academy and the Million Dollar Round Table to professional associations, substance abuse clinics and hospitals, and a wide variety of spiritual and religious groups. Jordan has presented staff and professional training's for many organizations including:DuPont Corporation; California Association of Marriage and Family Counselors; National Association of Social Workers; and Catholic Marriage Encounter. He has appeared on numerous radio and television shows including Donahue, Oprah and Sonya Live as a guest expert, and on the ABC radio network as a talk show host.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D., is the co-creator of Inner Bonding, a transformational six-step spiritual healing process. She is a best-selling author, noted public speaker, workshop leader, chaplain, educator, humanitarian, consultant, and Inner Bonding facilitator. She has been leading groups, teaching classes and workshops, and working with individuals, couples, partnerships and businesses since 1973. Margaret is passionate about evolving and teaching the process of Inner Bonding.Margaret is the co-author of Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You? (over 400,000 copies sold), Free to Love, Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?, Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?…The Workbook, Healing Your Aloneness, The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook, and author of Inner Bonding and recently released, Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? Her books have been translated into ten languages: German, Italian, Danish, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Chinese, Japanese, Dutch and Hungarian. Healing Your Aloneness and The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook are best sellers in Germany.Margaret has three grown children. In her spare time she is an artist.

Product Details

• Paperback: 254 pages
• Publisher: Hazelden; Second Edition edition (February 15, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1568387962
• ISBN-13: 978-1568387963
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #140,167 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

33 of 33 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A profound, important, and implication-rich book, February 6, 2002

By 

Jeremy J. Shapiro (New York, NY USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You? (Paperback)

For me this book is one of the most profound and important books I have ever read about relationships and communication. Although it is written as a book about marital relationships, it has implications for every kind of relationship, and not only intimate or dyadic ones. And, although it is written as a pop psychology book, I think it makes a real contribution to the social-scientific understanding of relationships and communication -- that is, it stands up well as a general model of communication and relationship. I think it is a great book and would be of great value not only to those trying to solve relationship problems but to those wanting to understand the ways in which self and relationship are intertwined in general. It illuminates all of the areas of one's life in which one communicates with others and, as another reader said, can be as valuable for understanding past relationships as for dealing with present ones.

32 of 33 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Hopeful dissertation on confronting ones fears, July 25, 1999

By 

[e-mail] (Pittsburgh, Pa) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You (Hardcover)

I am currently separated and have been for 2 years. I am hopeful to get my wife to read this book as it has made a great change in my life. It has very good exercises to practice with the one you love. I pray that I get the opportunity. We all have fears about our marriage relationship and what will cause its demise. Sometimes it is caused by our inability to convey how we feel about issues in a non attacking or controlling way. It has helped me to admit to myself that sometimes I try to control my situation by controlling my wife's reactions sometimes on purpose other times just by the anger or frustration in certain situations. This book is a good resource to confront our own problems first and then hopefully get together with the woman we love and put our fears to rest and have a meeting of the minds through true openess of our frustrations and fears in a constructive way.

Thanks to the authors.

21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent, excellent book., January 28, 2002

By 

Kevin (Victoria, BC Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You? (Paperback)

This book has really come to the rescue in my life. I am 24 and my partner 21. We've been together 8 months and started having conflicts after moving in together about 2 months ago. After a big fight one day, she brought this book home and we agreed to read it together every day.

Since then, there's been a massive change for us. A difficult change too, but so worthwhile. Margie and Jordan are really great people, and they make the book funny, informative and loving, but strong enough to shake you up. It's just so great... learning to learn is difficult, but ultimately incredibly rewarding. 1000 stars!