Customer Reviews

Have a New Husband by Friday: How to Change His Attitude, Behavior & Communication in 5 Days

5 star:		(38)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I've always prided myself on not nagging my husband. We've been married more than 20 years, and I sort of thought I wouldn't be teaching my old dog any new tricks. Well, I am just over half way through this book, and he's already learning new tricks (wink). I guess I am really the old dog who is learning the new tricks - regardless, it's working. I am now catching myself asking "why" or repeating what I ask my husband to do. I think I'd been nagging more than I would have thought.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked him two or three times to fix a leaking toilet. After a few days, I called the plumber. It was very minor and fixed in a matter of minutes. My husband saw the paid bill and almost choked at $90 for 10 minutes of work. I didn't say a word until he asked. I then explained that I'd asked him a few times, but figured since he didn't get around to it that he must be very busy, so I called someone. A few days later the ice maker started acting up.... yep, he fixed it the first time I asked. No fussing, no nagging.... just results.

When asked to review this book for the publisher Baker-Revell, I saw the title and thought "That's Crazy!" Later I changed my mind and thought it would be fun to review this book. My decision was correct-the book was fun to read!

Dr. Leman writes with humor and understanding as he explains to his female audience How to Have a New Husband by Friday. He is a Christian therapist, father of four daughters and married over 45 years to the same women. He shares this experience with his readers in a humorous yet informative manner.

While there are numerous marriage books to choose from, this book is different because it examines the childhood role models and learning patterns that affect us in adult marriages. Dr. Leman shares examples of a husband raised by an Overprotective Mother, No-Room-to-Fail Mama, Driven Mother and Disciplining Mother. The fresh look at your husband's parental influence awakens a new awareness for your marriage.

When you read the book, you won't have a new husband by Friday but you will have a new attitude about his behavior and your reactions. It's good information for any marriage, healthy or struggling. And its fun to read!

I was excited about this book and I have a lot of respect for Dr. Leman, but honestly this was a BIG let down for me. If you fit into the male and female stereotypes he describes, this would probably be a helpful book for you. (I guess a lot of people do - they call them stereotypes for a reason.) The Dr. simply told me "You are like this, your man is like this, so do this..." And, by the way, in his book, there is nothing outside the box of these "normal people" except the extremes - abusers, people who are married but secretly gay, etc... I just flat out didn't identify. I am not like the women he describes and my husband isn't like his description of a man either. It was so frustrating I had to keep myself from throwing it at the wall. (This is one reason my husband says he hates these books - he doesn't like "being generalized" and I totally agree after reading this.)
I also got the sense while reading it that Dr. Leman subscribes to an idea that females like to feel superior. He appealed to that as a way of helping me change my behavior so my inferior husband will do what I want. He referred to men being "dumb as dirt" "children" and "like a dog that can be trained". He told women to talk a certain way to them, use body language like turning away to make a point, reward good behavior with sex, etc. And then he said "don't manipulate". Really?? If I did what you told me to that's exactly what I feel like I would be doing. Sorry, but my husband is not dumb. I respect him a lot. He is a good man. He just struggles with my need to be pursued since we are already married. Any advice on that? Sadly, No.

Dr. Leman is right about a few things such as, Men's need to be respected, needed, appreciated, not nagged... But there are MUCH better books out there that address this. "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emmerson Eggerich is one of them.

Kevin Leman has penned another wonderful non-fiction work. This book should be tucked into every woman's hope chest! "Have A New Husband By Friday" is laugh-out-loud funny! It is also the absolute truth! It will make you think. It'll bring you to tears. It will change the way you treat your man - and the way he treats you. GUARANTEED! Although the results are wonderful, having a new husband by Friday requires a bit of effort. Still, it is worth every moment spent reading this informative and entertaining book and acting on what Dr. Leman suggests.

When I was given the opportunity to read this book, I asked my husband if he would be okay with me reading a book entitled "Have A New Husband By Friday". After assuring him that I wasn't planning to replace him in a week after 22 years of marriage, he gave me the shrug and grunt. So I got the book and put it on the kitchen counter. Within two days, my husband had read the book, attested to the truth of it, and was leaving me notes around the house and putting the book where he knew I would see it. He kept asking if I'd finished it, yet. He said I had to finish it this week so I could pass it on to our daughter who just got married. I think I'll need to get it for her on CD since she doesn't like to read.

There's nothing not to like about Kevin Leman. I've "seen" him in person and he's warm, accessible, down to earth and funny, but I have mixed feelings about this book. It depends on what's going on in your marriage if it's a good read/help or not. Although, to his credit, he does have a chapter on people in abusive or painful marriages, having been there, this book isn't going to help much. If you are "this close" to getting out, this book isn't for you, either. This isn't a "one last chance" book. I've just finished reading a book called "The Marriage Miracle" by Bob and Cheryl Moeller read THAT one if you are hanging on by a thread. (The book is intensely Christian).

Leman, on the other hand, is a Christian and you will get that sense as you read the book but it is not a intense part of the book, so if that would put you off, don't let it. If your marriage is relatively solid and you've just kind of drifted apart or are starting to feel this kind of "UGH, I married him, why???" kind of feeling,and want to get it to being healthy...this is a great book for that. Understanding the animal (no pun intended) you live with and how to reach him is pretty important if you're spending the rest of your life with him.

Just my two cents.

My husband and I have been married for 30 yrs. and have 6 children ages 10, 16, 20, 23, 25, 27. Five of our children are still at home. In the last 6 yrs. we have been thru' the trauma of 2 miscarriages, my mom having Alzheimer's and having to move in w/us the last 2 yrs. of her life. We have a 3 bedroom house so this put my husband and I in the living room until the last 4 months of her life when she had a heart attack and was in a hospital bed in the living room until her death in 2008. I became stressed to the max during this time. During this time I had to deal w/my estranged brothers who for years had had little to do w/ our mother and now suddenly showed up on a weekly basis. After her death, a court case took place as she had left everything to me and told me how she wanted it distributed. STRESS!! Now my husband lost his job of 34 yrs. and that was almost the last straw. I felt like a stone and almost couldn't stand to see my husband or for him to touch me. I loved him but I felt nothing. When I ordered this book I was beginning to come out of depression and wanted my happy marriage back. I forced myself at first to implement the Monday suggestions in the book. It got easier and easier. BEFORE Fri. the change in ME was amazing. My husband doesn't know what has happened exactly but he is so glad. I think the title of this book should be changed to: Be a New Wife By Friday and therefore Have a New Husband Too!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS BOOK AND HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!!

I am thankful for this book. I bought this book a couple of weeks ago. I didn't want to post a review until I was done reading it and following through with his advice. I didn't know what to expect. I thought it was another 'counseling' book. Instead Dr. Leman tells you from a man's point of view why and what a man does/thinks.

- I've always wondered what was going through my husband's head when I am speaking to him and he's "zoned out."
- There was another time, I went to use our bathroom sink after my husband. I looked down and there's a big chunk of blue tooth paste in the sink. I was angry that he left that there. Anyways he claimed he didn't see it. I was unwilling to accept that excuse. The sink is white. Dr. Leman explains about men in those situations.

His book helped me understand my husband and now when I accept his excuses I won't view them as excuses but as explanation. Dr. Leman is like a friend who's explaining to me every move my husband makes and why. I have forgotten before he was my husband he is a man. I enjoyed Dr. Leman's humor.

I have follwed through with Dr. Leman's advice and they've worked. I have read some reviews here about how Dr. Leman refers to men as "dumb" "childlike" etc. but you have to remember Dr. Leman is a man. He's speaking to us as a man and explains things the way they are without sugarcoating these terms. He puts these into easy to understand terms and situations and not something technical.

Some people say that he's degrading women by advising them to do this and that for their husband and relationship. But this is a book for women, on how to change/improve your relationship. No wonder he's giving 'us' women that advice. If it was for a man it'd be telling him how to change/improve the relationship. Besides it takes an open and committed person to be the first to initiate change in order for things to improve. If you picked up this book it would be you initiating it.

My wife picked up this book after hearing Dr. Leman at his seminar. I saw her reading it and was interested in the title. I thought, "Does she really need a NEW husband? Am I that bad?" Turns out, I was not bad at all and this book helped us to open up more in our communications. I see a difference in how my wife treats me, which I have to say is really great! Thanks Doc!!! I read it myself when she was done and was overall impressed. This is a book to strengthen your relationship with your spouse--and who doesn't need that every now and then? I'd highly recommend this book!

Well, it's Friday morning, and I don't have a new husband. In fact, my existing husband's first words to me this morning were: "You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

Granted, I'm stressing to finish three book reviews before we take off for the weekend camping trip, and I really should be packing so we can get out of here as soon as possible. So maybe he's justified. And I'd better get moving!

But the point is, Have a New Husband by Friday isn't a miracle-working book. You can't place your order and get the exact husband you want in five days. Not without doing some significant work and changing of yourself, first...

The Author

Dr. Kevin Leman is a psychologist, humorist, and New York Times bestselling author. He is internationally known for his wit and commonsense psychology, and previous books include Have a New Kid by Friday, Turn Up the Heat, and Sheet Music. He is also the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization committed to helping couples remain happily married. You can find out more about Dr. Leman at his website.

An Overview

This book promises to show you as a wife how to change your husband's attitude, behavior, and communication in five days.

Let me let you in on a little secret - the change starts with you. If you change you, your husband will change as a side effect.

There are five different areas the book focuses on; one for each day between Monday and Friday. First, understand your husband's needs. Then, get to know him; what his background was like; what makes him tick. Show him some respect. Learn how to effectively communicate with him. Learn what rewards or motivates him. And finally, learn how to put him first.

Pretty simple and straightforward, huh? The book is chock-full of examples to illustrate the principles. And while the author is very much a proponent of working on even the most hopeless of marriages, there is also a section for those who may be suffering abuse in their marriage and how to deal with or get out of it.

As Dr. Leman says, "making changes in your marriage isn't easy, but it's simple. It all starts with you, and your motivation and desire to make things work in your marriage."

My Review

Every husband (and wife) is unique, so not every strategy in this book will work with every husband. I think Dr. Leman recognizes that. However, while I may not have a new husband yet, I certainly have a lot to think about and things to work on... Give me a year or two and I'll give you a better review of how the strategies in this book work!

I actually appreciate the five day approach; it seems much more doable from the get-go than a 40-day challenge. I intend to read this book again and do a better job of applying the principles in it this time around... In fact, this is a book I need to keep on my bedside table and read again and again until it becomes a part of me.

Dr. Leman's style of writing is very easy to read, injected with humor, and with examples to keep you engaged. He also leaves you with action items, so you're motivated to apply what you've read. And the male perspective is perfect for this book!

I'd say this is a must-read if you would like to get more out of your marriage but are not sure where or how to start.

I've read several of Dr. Leman's books, including Have A New kid by Friday. My friend told me about Have a New Husband by Friday and I've got a good husband....I don't really need a new one so I didn't really know if this book was for me. But I read it and I was impressed!!!! I learned a lot about my husband in a short period of time, including that my husband really wants to please me, and he is REALLY glad that I read it!!!!! The book is full of humor and I really thought I knew my husband but Have a New Husband by Friday taught me a lot about the man I love. I'm turning into one of Dr. Leman's biggest fans and look forward to what he writes next. Tell you girlfriends to read this book---your husband will love you for it.