Customer Reviews

Have a New Husband by Friday: How to Change His Attitude, Behavior & Communication in 5 Days

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3 star:		(5)
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1 star:		(3)

 

 

I've always prided myself on not nagging my husband. We've been married more than 20 years, and I sort of thought I wouldn't be teaching my old dog any new tricks. Well, I am just over half way through this book, and he's already learning new tricks (wink). I guess I am really the old dog who is learning the new tricks - regardless, it's working. I am now catching myself asking "why" or repeating what I ask my husband to do. I think I'd been nagging more than I would have thought.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked him two or three times to fix a leaking toilet. After a few days, I called the plumber. It was very minor and fixed in a matter of minutes. My husband saw the paid bill and almost choked at $90 for 10 minutes of work. I didn't say a word until he asked. I then explained that I'd asked him a few times, but figured since he didn't get around to it that he must be very busy, so I called someone. A few days later the ice maker started acting up.... yep, he fixed it the first time I asked. No fussing, no nagging.... just results.

When asked to review this book for the publisher Baker-Revell, I saw the title and thought "That's Crazy!" Later I changed my mind and thought it would be fun to review this book. My decision was correct-the book was fun to read!

Dr. Leman writes with humor and understanding as he explains to his female audience How to Have a New Husband by Friday. He is a Christian therapist, father of four daughters and married over 45 years to the same women. He shares this experience with his readers in a humorous yet informative manner.

While there are numerous marriage books to choose from, this book is different because it examines the childhood role models and learning patterns that affect us in adult marriages. Dr. Leman shares examples of a husband raised by an Overprotective Mother, No-Room-to-Fail Mama, Driven Mother and Disciplining Mother. The fresh look at your husband's parental influence awakens a new awareness for your marriage.

When you read the book, you won't have a new husband by Friday but you will have a new attitude about his behavior and your reactions. It's good information for any marriage, healthy or struggling. And its fun to read!

Kevin Leman has penned another wonderful non-fiction work. This book should be tucked into every woman's hope chest! "Have A New Husband By Friday" is laugh-out-loud funny! It is also the absolute truth! It will make you think. It'll bring you to tears. It will change the way you treat your man - and the way he treats you. GUARANTEED! Although the results are wonderful, having a new husband by Friday requires a bit of effort. Still, it is worth every moment spent reading this informative and entertaining book and acting on what Dr. Leman suggests.

When I was given the opportunity to read this book, I asked my husband if he would be okay with me reading a book entitled "Have A New Husband By Friday". After assuring him that I wasn't planning to replace him in a week after 22 years of marriage, he gave me the shrug and grunt. So I got the book and put it on the kitchen counter. Within two days, my husband had read the book, attested to the truth of it, and was leaving me notes around the house and putting the book where he knew I would see it. He kept asking if I'd finished it, yet. He said I had to finish it this week so I could pass it on to our daughter who just got married. I think I'll need to get it for her on CD since she doesn't like to read.

I was excited about this book and I have a lot of respect for Dr. Leman, but honestly this was a BIG let down for me. If you fit into the male and female stereotypes he describes, this would probably be a helpful book for you. (I guess a lot of people do - they call them stereotypes for a reason.) The Dr. simply told me "You are like this, your man is like this, so do this..." And, by the way, in his book, there is nothing outside the box of these "normal people" except the extremes - abusers, people who are married but secretly gay, etc... I just flat out didn't identify. I am not like the women he describes and my husband isn't like his description of a man either. It was so frustrating I had to keep myself from throwing it at the wall. (This is one reason my husband says he hates these books - he doesn't like "being generalized" and I totally agree after reading this.)
I also got the sense while reading it that Dr. Leman subscribes to an idea that females like to feel superior. He appealed to that as a way of helping me change my behavior so my inferior husband will do what I want. He referred to men being "dumb as dirt" "children" and "like a dog that can be trained". He told women to talk a certain way to them, use body language like turning away to make a point, reward good behavior with sex, etc. And then he said "don't manipulate". Really?? If I did what you told me to that's exactly what I feel like I would be doing. Sorry, but my husband is not dumb. I respect him a lot. He is a good man. He just struggles with my need to be pursued since we are already married. Any advice on that? Sadly, No.

Dr. Leman is right about a few things such as, Men's need to be respected, needed, appreciated, not nagged... But there are MUCH better books out there that address this. "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emmerson Eggerich is one of them.

There's nothing not to like about Kevin Leman. I've "seen" him in person and he's warm, accessible, down to earth and funny, but I have mixed feelings about this book. It depends on what's going on in your marriage if it's a good read/help or not. Although, to his credit, he does have a chapter on people in abusive or painful marriages, having been there, this book isn't going to help much. If you are "this close" to getting out, this book isn't for you, either. This isn't a "one last chance" book. I've just finished reading a book called "The Marriage Miracle" by Bob and Cheryl Moeller read THAT one if you are hanging on by a thread. (The book is intensely Christian).

Leman, on the other hand, is a Christian and you will get that sense as you read the book but it is not a intense part of the book, so if that would put you off, don't let it. If your marriage is relatively solid and you've just kind of drifted apart or are starting to feel this kind of "UGH, I married him, why???" kind of feeling,and want to get it to being healthy...this is a great book for that. Understanding the animal (no pun intended) you live with and how to reach him is pretty important if you're spending the rest of your life with him.

Just my two cents.

I love Dr. Leman. But this book was not for me. My husband is an artistic, non-stereotypical male. If you have a straightforward MAN man for a husband,and most women do, it is a great book. There is a lot of solid advice. But if your man likes to communicate, is observant and detail oriented (as most artists are) and is not all testosterone, it is not the book for you. Sorry Dr. Leman. This one was a little narrow minded for my taste.

My husband and I have been married for 30 yrs. and have 6 children ages 10, 16, 20, 23, 25, 27. Five of our children are still at home. In the last 6 yrs. we have been thru' the trauma of 2 miscarriages, my mom having Alzheimer's and having to move in w/us the last 2 yrs. of her life. We have a 3 bedroom house so this put my husband and I in the living room until the last 4 months of her life when she had a heart attack and was in a hospital bed in the living room until her death in 2008. I became stressed to the max during this time. During this time I had to deal w/my estranged brothers who for years had had little to do w/ our mother and now suddenly showed up on a weekly basis. After her death, a court case took place as she had left everything to me and told me how she wanted it distributed. STRESS!! Now my husband lost his job of 34 yrs. and that was almost the last straw. I felt like a stone and almost couldn't stand to see my husband or for him to touch me. I loved him but I felt nothing. When I ordered this book I was beginning to come out of depression and wanted my happy marriage back. I forced myself at first to implement the Monday suggestions in the book. It got easier and easier. BEFORE Fri. the change in ME was amazing. My husband doesn't know what has happened exactly but he is so glad. I think the title of this book should be changed to: Be a New Wife By Friday and therefore Have a New Husband Too!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS BOOK AND HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!!

I am thankful for this book. I bought this book a couple of weeks ago. I didn't want to post a review until I was done reading it and following through with his advice. I didn't know what to expect. I thought it was another 'counseling' book. Instead Dr. Leman tells you from a man's point of view why and what a man does/thinks.

- I've always wondered what was going through my husband's head when I am speaking to him and he's "zoned out."
- There was another time, I went to use our bathroom sink after my husband. I looked down and there's a big chunk of blue tooth paste in the sink. I was angry that he left that there. Anyways he claimed he didn't see it. I was unwilling to accept that excuse. The sink is white. Dr. Leman explains about men in those situations.

His book helped me understand my husband and now when I accept his excuses I won't view them as excuses but as explanation. Dr. Leman is like a friend who's explaining to me every move my husband makes and why. I have forgotten before he was my husband he is a man. I enjoyed Dr. Leman's humor.

I have follwed through with Dr. Leman's advice and they've worked. I have read some reviews here about how Dr. Leman refers to men as "dumb" "childlike" etc. but you have to remember Dr. Leman is a man. He's speaking to us as a man and explains things the way they are without sugarcoating these terms. He puts these into easy to understand terms and situations and not something technical.

Some people say that he's degrading women by advising them to do this and that for their husband and relationship. But this is a book for women, on how to change/improve your relationship. No wonder he's giving 'us' women that advice. If it was for a man it'd be telling him how to change/improve the relationship. Besides it takes an open and committed person to be the first to initiate change in order for things to improve. If you picked up this book it would be you initiating it.

My wife picked up this book after hearing Dr. Leman at his seminar. I saw her reading it and was interested in the title. I thought, "Does she really need a NEW husband? Am I that bad?" Turns out, I was not bad at all and this book helped us to open up more in our communications. I see a difference in how my wife treats me, which I have to say is really great! Thanks Doc!!! I read it myself when she was done and was overall impressed. This is a book to strengthen your relationship with your spouse--and who doesn't need that every now and then? I'd highly recommend this book!

These comments refer to the audio CD which has a female narrator. And that's part of the problem. While the woman reading the text to us speaks well and is easy to understand, the fact that she is female changes the meaning of some of Dr. Leman's statements. Hearing that men are generally rather stupid is more offensive when verbalized by a woman than it would be coming from a man. And Dr. Leman tells us in many ways that husbands are dense creatures, less intelligent, less social, and less sensitive than wives!

Of course, sometimes this may be true but certainly not always. This book is full of generalizations about men and women which (like most generalizations) are not fair. The narrator does not sound like she is kidding either, for she vocalizes without laughing or inserting much emotion.

Another thing that annoys me about the book is that many of the techniques described seem manipulative. This contrasts with advice that Dr. Leman gives in one chapter that you should not manipulate your husband! Yet the book is full of ways to scheme, beguile, and seduce so that the poor dummy does what you want.

In more than one instance, training methods are described so that you can train your husband like you would an animal. He is actually compared to a trained seal, and Dr. Leman even advises that after your husband successfully does what you want you should "throw him a 3-pound fish" by taking him in the bedroom, locking the door, and making love to him. I don't know which part of this metaphor is more offensive, equating a husband to a trained seal or equating sexual favors to a fish!

I realize that many people love the book and find it helpful. Certainly some of the advice is helpful, and I was pleased to hear the zero-tolerance policy as far as tolerating physical abuse. I think a print copy of the book would be easier to get through because the reader could skim over advice and opinion that does not pertain to her.