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118 of 126 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely Fantastic!
I am only on page 65 (Wednesday chapter) of this 305 page book and already something amazing has happened. I can't even believe it myself and I've spent all afternoon crying, first tears of sorrow and now tears of joy. I followed the instructions for Monday by deciding just how much I was up against, figuring out my parenting style, and developing my plan. Last night I...
Published on October 28, 2011 by 1mama3gr8kids

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36 of 47 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Some good advice, and some very very harmful.
I really enjoyed this book until about halfway through. I agree that for *most* children, teaching them that you will say it once and not argue about it, is helpful in showing them that they can't bait you into argument. I am a therapist, I work with families, and I believe that fostering mutual respect as a foundation for your relationship with your children is...
Published 23 months ago by M Bradley


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118 of 126 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely Fantastic!, October 28, 2011
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I am only on page 65 (Wednesday chapter) of this 305 page book and already something amazing has happened. I can't even believe it myself and I've spent all afternoon crying, first tears of sorrow and now tears of joy. I followed the instructions for Monday by deciding just how much I was up against, figuring out my parenting style, and developing my plan. Last night I finished Tuesday's chapter (even though last night was Thursday) and this morning reminded myself what I needed to do when the kids got home from school today: Shut my mouth and don't ask questions. If something comes up remain calm, etc., and don't use "why" or "should" in my conversations. When my teenage son called me to tell me he'd missed the bus that takes him home after school I knew it was time to use the new tools Dr. Leman prescribed: Shut up, don't ask questions, stay calm, and don't use "should" or "why" statements. What happened afterwards was amazing.
When I got around to picking up my son I said hello. I did not ask how his day was nor did I ask why he missed the bus. I simply said, "Hi," and left it at that. Usually I ask how their day was and they say, "Good," and that's the end of our conversation 88% of the time aside from, "Do you have any homework?". Today was different, I was not going to do that. I would bite my tongue no matter how difficult it became!
My 12 year old daughter who was in the van, however, DID ask him why he missed the bus. I just listened. I continued to listen even after he stopped talking. Silence. Then suddenly, breaking the long silence, my son began to tell me that he bought a friend lunch today. He wanted me to know in case I would later notice how much was taken from his lunch account and that I might think it was too much for one meal. I said, "That was very nice of you," and I was quiet again, but really I was wondering why this kid wasn't provided with a lunch from home OR given money to buy lunch at school. Then he said, "Yeah, I bought him lunch because his parents didn't give him any lunch money again." "AGAIN?" NOW I started to ask questions. To make a long story short my son opened up to me about his friend not having enough food to eat because his family doesn't have much money (and apparently has not enough help either). He bought his friend lunch because his friend had already used his daily school assisted funds, "so he could have breakfast." My heart got heavy as I listened to this. My son told me about a teacher who has been helping this student by giving to him from her own pocket so I contacted the teacher and she was so grateful that I'd reached out to her. As it turns out the student needs more help than anyone realized and now, help is on the way not just with food but with clothes too, and for any student who needs it!
We are so fortunate to have Dr. Leman share his expert advice with us through books. I can't wait to read the rest of this one! I've already read, "Have a New Kid by Friday," and it turned my children into kids who think about others and not just themselves (as was evident today). Although I wasn't sure whether I'd really need "Have a New Teenager by Friday," I knew I was entering a different playing field with my kids now, being in the 11-19 age group (all three of them), and was curious to see what was different so I purchased this book. My main reason for doing so was because my son wants to get his driver's license and I don't know what to do (yes, it's a topic in this book)! I am so glad I bought this book! The hormone years are SO different! Dr. Leman really gets kids and he really gets parents. He knows all the things your kids will say and do in all kinds of different situations. He knows you too, believe it or not, and he will kindly call you out in his books and open your eyes so you can have a new teenager by Friday. My friends & I used to say we wish there was an easy read for how to raise our children -- Dr. Leman has done it and anyone planning to be a parent ought to read his parenting books so you can get it right from the very beginning. Read them ALL, even the ones that aren't about parenting! I've started my own Leman collection so I always have the reference available if I need a reminder. It has also helped me as a parent to have read, "The New Birth Order Book," because that book has helped me understand more about myself and how I apply my upbringing into my current family. I could probably write my own book on how much his books have helped me. What a lifesaver!
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34 of 36 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars AKA Have a new parent of teenagers by Friday..., September 3, 2011
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First thing I did Sept 1st was to check my kindle and see if my new Leman book had downloaded as I had pre- ordered it. LoVe all the Leman books; always think its not so much about changing the kids, him or now teenagers, its more about changing me and my responses to them. This book is A+ practical, common sense. My favorite part is the A-Z questions/answers at the end.
Quizzing my hubby and friends as to their response to the teenage boy who states "I'm going to drive a Porsche when I get a car"- most, like me responded..."well you better study hard, get a good job etc..." Not my Hubby, his response fell right in line with Dr.Leman's - "great, I'll be your driver and change the oil for you; will you let me take it for a spin some time ?" - no wonder the kids are more chatty with him... I'm as usual learning lots and you will too.
Thanks for keeping it real Dr. Leman!!
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38 of 42 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars She didn't want me to buy this, September 1, 2011
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My 11 year old daughter didn't want me to buy this book. You see, she knows! She knows that if I do, things will change. Click. Book purchased and delivering to my Kindle reading app. "You didn't!?","I did! And you know what honey? Your days are numbers." She stormed out of the room and I started reading. Yes!

Have a New Teenager by Friday is not a method that will transform your teenager. It is something that will transfer your entire family (including you.)

Each chapter is divided by days (Monday through Friday.) You can really start on any day that you want and it might be very likely that you will see a significant change before Friday. Dr. Leman concludes the book with a top 10 countdown to having a new teenager by Friday.

My favorite part of the book is the "Ask Dr. Leman" section. In it, he discusses the 75 hottest topics parents have asked him.

The index in the back is sorted by topic so that you can quickly refer back to the topic you want to focus in on.

As I close, you need to understand. The book isn't designed to make your teenager miserable. On the contrary, your child (maybe even my child) might surprise you with a "Thank you!"

Enjoy the book! It is a quick read with lasting impacts.
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36 of 47 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Some good advice, and some very very harmful., January 29, 2013
I really enjoyed this book until about halfway through. I agree that for *most* children, teaching them that you will say it once and not argue about it, is helpful in showing them that they can't bait you into argument. I am a therapist, I work with families, and I believe that fostering mutual respect as a foundation for your relationship with your children is imperative. These were the positive points in the book.

However, when I got to the section on pornography, I was appalled. I understand that this author is Christian and that his values will be a large part of his parenting, but shaming a teenager in regards to his sexuality can be detrimental to him in the future. His advice to parents regarding what they should say to a male teen who has been "caught" looking at pornography is this: "'I have to tell you the truth. I really thought you were above that. Now I see clearly that isn't true-you're not above that. And I'm greatly disappointed.'"(p.251) Shaming a child of any age for their COMPLETELY NORMAL biological feelings will result only in a sexually maladjusted adult.

Dr.Leman also adds these tidbits, "Pornography is one of the most highly addictive bahaviors that anyone can engage in. Personally, I think it has the strength of the addictive powers of crack cocaine." (p.251) FALSE. And, "A kid who is most likely to visit porn sites in great regularity is usually the teenager who feels inept in relationships with the opposite sex." (p.251) While it is probably true that the kid "most likely" to be looking at pornography is one who doesn't yet have a functional relationship with the opposite sex, but let's be honest, what teen male does?

Teens are just discovering all these new feelings about this crazy thing called SEX. They are curious, confused, excited, and already plenty ashamed about the thoughts in their head. Parents do NOT need to add to that. If you don't agree with pornography, fine, explain that to them. But please, PLEASE, assure them that they are not "perverted" or "weird" or "different" because of their curiosity.

One other smaller issue I had with Dr.Leman's advice was that he seemed to shun completely harmless acts of self expression, such as hair color, hair cuts, piercings (he even judges the "socially acceptable" areas), and painting their bedroom walls. It doesn't take a psychologist to know that if you stunt your child's self expression, it will find a way to be expressed, usually in the form of a more harmful rebellion than a haircut that you don't particularly like.
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19 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars best yet!, July 2, 2012
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I have purchased maybe 6 books on teens in the past 1.5 yrs since my now 16 yr.,10 mo. old grandson came to live with me after losing his Mom. New Teenager by Friday by Kevin Leman takes a different approach to guidance, encouragement and development of teens. His straight talk, non-clinical chapters give us the 'parent' a Step 1, step 2, etc. guidelines for us to follow. Previously it was not 'cool' to be a 'friend' to your teen. In the '60's we were asked to be in a parent/child relationship. Dr. Leman follows an equal respect guideline for one another by giving the teen a voice in making decisions about everything from meals, behavior, curfew, current events, politics and sexual activity. That is to say by giving the teens a chance to be heard without having to listen to put-downs and criticism, they will develop a sense of power that previously had been undermined by the constant nagging, 'you shoulds" and power struggles.

He claims that you will see improvements almost immediately. I have used his techniques and have seen major improvements in the past four weeks. You will continue to see little explosions from time to time (he says to expect that to happen) but that is normal in the hormone group. My teen remembers household jobs without reminders, he says 'when you have time, please give me a ride, he apologizes after loosing his temper with being prompted, he thanks me for the smallest thing like purchasing a favorite food, a cooked meal, helping with a project. Most important message is to develop the ability to stop and think before you speak. It took a little practice to change the way I communicated with my teen but so far it is working and I look forward to improvements every day. Remember, listen to your teens no matter how silly or boring they may be, listen to their music if invited to do so no matter how bad it is, avoid saying 'I'm too busy", avoid negative comments about their opinions. You, too, can have a new teen by Friday!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Jury is in, they are 9, 11, and 15, October 5, 2011
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The Practical ways Dr. Leman has written about in this book are things that as a parent normally you are too emotionally clouded to think of. His biggest thing is to stay calm, I think the staying calm drives them teenagers bonkers. They just can't get a rile out of you, therefor it is no fun any more, and the consequences come when they are least expected! : I am using this book for my Nine year old mostly, because she thinks she is a teenager. But You know for the first time ever, that girl came to me and apologized for lying to me. I didn't have to yell at her, or giver her an hour long lecture, I simply stated how I was dissapointed that she would lie to me, and turned my back and continued what I was doing, well a half hour later, she came to me crying and apologized. I was truly flabbergasted! And tried not to look too happy! Thanks Dr. Leman, we are on the way to healthy, responsible teenagers who want to help out!
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful book!, October 18, 2011
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Another great book by Dr. Leman! The book really helped my "stick to my guns" one week when my "A" student decided not to do his homework!? He is a really good kid, but for whatever reason decided he was old enough to choose not to turn in an assignment. This has NEVER happened before and I couldn't believe it when I confirmed it with the teacher! I wanted to yell, shout, ground, etc. Instead, I remained calm said nothing--grabbed my Kindle and re-read parts of the book for moral support and when Friday rolled around and Teen wanted to be driven to a friend's party--the answer was "No". His jaw dropped to the floor. I told him he had had his party Wed evening when he chose to hang out with friends rather than do homework--now he was going to do his homework. That was 4 weeks ago--all assignments since have been completed--some even days before they are due!! Thank you Dr. Leman!
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars HUGE HIT with us!, September 14, 2011
Thank you Dr Leman again... I love all your books but this one was a lot about my husband and I too! Have a new teenager by Friday has taught us to not only listen to our sons desires but what not to say and how to say it in a much more interesting way with conversation from our son that will surely follow! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
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12 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Homerun!, August 30, 2011
Another homerun for Dr. Leman. Thoughtful , insightful, and life changing for our 13 year old (and us too!). Just what we needed. This has been a hard age for us, so this book was truly an answer to prayer.
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Timing!, September 17, 2011
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At the end of my rope--on my knees--seeking the Lord's guidance! Dr. Leman, once again you have been used by the Lord to answer prayer! And with such humor! Want to laugh, want to cry, but most of all I am hopeful! This is truly a must read for any parent with teens! I simply can't thank you enough!
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Have a New Teenager by Friday: From Mouthy and Moody to Respectful and Responsible in 5 Days
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