Customer Reviews

I Have Something to Tell You: A Memoir

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I hope everyone will read this touching and compelling memoir.
It will affect you in many ways and remind all of us of how
necessary it is to be informed, compassionate and active in
helping to fight this major health issue everywhere and every
way that we can - together. I especially hope all mothers will
read this and start a dialogue with their children and with each
other. I am very proud to be Regan's mother. Nancy Cosentino

I loved this book. The author contracted HIV through an unprotected heterosexual encounter. She writes movingly of her initial diagnosis all the way through her role as a proud spokesperson who educates people about HIV/AIDS and fights the stigma associated with it. Be warned - the book pulls no punches about the physical and emotional trauma of living with HIV. Ms. Hofmann's refusal to accept her diagnosis as a death sentence makes this an inspirational story indeed!

This is a truly readable and gripping account of one young person's struggle with a terrible, life-defining disease and the stigma that goes with it. It is an engaging view of a life before and after coming to terms with HIV, and the defining life's work that comes out of it. This is a book that every parent should read and require their children to read, and every adult who thinks AIDS is under control in this country should read and pass along to others. It is beautifully written, is eminently readable and is a keeper for any personal library. Kudos to a brave and admirable young woman.

This memoir of a young woman learning that she's HIV positive through heterosexual sex is wrenching, powerful, inspiring, and informative. The author writes with searing honesty about being given a death sentence when she was in her late 20's and how she has coped and wrestled with the disease and all its complex issues. In the years since that diagnosis she has faced the demons and become an eloquent and effective spokesperson for how imperative it is for all of us to become informed about HIV/AIDS and to learn to speak about it honestly and openly. I had to read this book in small sittings in order to absorb the roller coaster ride of her medical and emotional journey and to get a grip on the statistics and hard facts of this global epidemic. Read this book and pay it forward. Pamela Parsons

Regan Hofmann's story is one that anyone impacted by the AIDS epidemic will find interesting, insightful and educational. She writes with an easy clarity and compelling courage, telling her story with frankness and humor. The book is a fast read, although some of the most emotionally intense parts demand a rereading to absorb fully the impact of what she has experienced. The narrative alternates stylistically between that of a diarist, an educator and a confessional; each contributes to creating a picture of a woman who lived with an intense secret that was itself a risk to her health, that when burst open was done so with a stylish exuberance and healing relief. Ultimately, she finds the power of service to others, as an AIDS educator and journalist, to become a necessary and fulfilling part of her HIV treatment. Hofmann's story is powerful, especially in its ability to reach women who may think themselves immune to the risk of HIV.

Regan was once POZ's "Anonymous" columnist, secretly embedded in the society of New Jersey's horse country and reporting to POZ readers what others say about people with AIDS when they don't think any such person is within earshot. Today she is the magazine's editor-in-chief.

Regan Hofmann was just 28, still recovering from the hurt and disappointment of a divorce, when she noticed a lump in her groin. Though she was close to her family, she didn't share the doctor's diagnosis with them for several months. She struggled alone as she tried to come to grips with what seemed an obvious death sentence: she was HIV positive.

Yet this memoir is not the story of a dying AIDS victim. There's a new generation of people with HIV, people who are taking the pharmaceutical "cocktails" that make it possible to survive and manage the illness. Certainly she was forced to confront mortality, but as time went on and so did her life, what Hofmann struggled with most was the stigma and fear associated with HIV. She lived for nearly ten years in the closet, with only her closest family members, and medical personnel, aware of her disease.

She had been a freelance writer/editor with a promising career, but for more than a year she stopped working and retreated into self-imposed isolation. Telling family and friends that it was post-divorce depression, she held on by a thread as she came to grips with this blow. She waited for the end.

It chills sympathy a bit to know that Hofmann didn't worry about the rent or the groceries. When at last she confided in her immediate family, no one was concerned about the medical bills. In fact, she moved back home with her two horses, and her parents provided for her while she devoted herself to long rides in the New Jersey countryside. Meanwhile she agonized over the secret of her infection.

Her reactions may seem a little overwrought for someone with virtually no symptoms, and a life of privilege. Many people with AIDS have greater challenges. As an experienced editor, Hoffman knows she has to work to win our sympathy, so she emphasizes her emotional pain, yet she might have shown more awareness of the difficulties for those without family support and financial resources. Nonetheless, as she matures in dealing with this life-shattering news, the issue of wealth slips aside.

It's shame and fear that kept Hofmann so secretive about her HIV status. And it was not unfounded. She faced rejection and reactions of disgust. Though she understood the mortal terror behind those responses, she was also trapped by the implicit criticism. She did not easily make herself vulnerable to such judgments. Attractive young men especially made her long for an uncomplicated connection. Yet her personal and professional interactions with the HIV/AIDS community, and her own courage, eventually gave her the confidence and sense of purpose to come out with her truth.

In I Have Something to Tell You Regan Hoffman moves from victim to activist. She tells her story in an effort to conquer the stigma of HIV/AIDS, raise awareness and prevent further spread of the disease. She's out of the HIV closet and putting herself on the page to educate us, in hopes of saving us. Her ability to derive meaning from her own misfortune adds inspiration to the necessary information.

by Susan Schoch
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women

It is a great book dealing with emotions of having HIV, my daughter was diagonsed when she was pregnant with her son. She was 7 months pregnant at the time she was diagnosed so it was too late to do anything other than to have the baby. He was born and given meds at birth and for six weeks after he was born, so he is HIV NEGATIVE!! Thank God for the new medicine that they can give a child at birth to keep them from contracting this horrible problem.

The book was and still is an insperation, I have not finished the book, I am reading the last chapters. The only thing I was hoping to get more out of the book was more of the physical problems that an HIV patient deals with. I keep a watchful eye on my daughter to see if there are going to be any physical problems that we are going to have to deal with.

My daughter will be reading the book after I finish it, so I know she will be getting some insperation regarding relationships with men. She feels like she will not have any hope with getting married, and that she will be alone for the rest of her life, but this book will show her that she can have a life and a future.

There needs to be a book written from the parent of an HIV positive child, who has experienced the birth of their first and only Grandchild that was born to an HIV positive Daughter.

I just read this book. I learned from her story. She is an amazing lady and truly deserves the love of her life. I would like to know if she is with Keith. Anyone knows if they are engaged or married by now?

Regan Hofmann contracted HIV when she was in her late twenties and newly divorced, at a time when that diagnosis was often a death sentence. She retreated to the safety of her parents' home and confided only in a small handful of people. A year later, new drugs offered hope for the future. Regan stayed well, but kept silent about her status for fear of losing her friends, her job, her sense of normalcy. But a journalist by trade, Regan also began secretly writing an anonymous column for POZ Magazine, a national print & online magazine for people affected by HIV. When she was offered the job of editor-in-chief, Regan finally went public. Beautifully written, candid and brave, her story of secrecy, hope, finding love and facing up to her greatest fears will resonate with any reader -- whether or not they're facing HIV.

What an amazing read! This book caught my attention because I've reflected on how my friends & I lived our carefree lives 10 years ago. Regan Hofmann could have been me, or a very close friend. The only difference, Regan Hofmann was more careful. The reality of HIV wasn't even a passing thought during those years. To think now about the risks taken, I am ever so thankful & lucky. I Have Something to Tell You is a book that could save many lives.

Regan takes you on a journey, and it feels like you are there. The overwhelming anger, guilt, loneliness, embarrassment, sadness, rejection & uncertainty - Regan gets these raw emotions across too well, which is why this book is so amazing. HIV became her reality. Thankfully Regan had an amazing mom, dad, & stepdad with whom she moved in with after her diagnosis. For a couple years Regan took a job with a horse training facility in which the owner was her coach years earlier. After following her dream of riding horses, Regan is ready to use her mind and give her body a rest. She returns to publishing and gets hired as an editor with a design magazine.

Regan has a relationship with a man named Jody. This relationship is unbelievable in many ways, which you should read =) Jody steers Regan in the direction of (my personal belief & opinion) her God sent path in life. She begins writing a column in a magazine for people living with HIV- POZ. For four years Regan writes the column while struggling with her anonymity. After an ownership change, Regan gets an offer to become editor-in-chief of POZ. Many factors were considered before taking the job. She reviewed the latest facts which had changed drastically from when she was first diagnosed. With the support of her family, she knew this was a job she had to take.

Regan publically discloses her truth - she's HIV positive. From this point on, she attends the International Aids Conference, publically speaks at a private club, speaks at a prep school, and attends an AIDS conference in New Orleans. The conference in New Orleans had quite an impact on Regan. She recognized the lack of concern the federal government showed for the quality of life for both 9th ward Katrina victims & those diagnosed as HIV positive.

The U.S. State Dept. sends Regan to the Pacific Rim to speak about AIDS. Having acquired different insights about AIDS, seeing the political and cultural aspects, Regan bravely travels & speaks to uninformed/misinformed countries. She touches many on this tour, the growth Regan goes through over the years is truly amazing. She discusses some political issues that some may not want to read. I found it informative, and appreciate her honesty. Awareness needs to be upped in a big way! The choices(or lack there of) made by many before engaging in sexual acts are the same - the retrovirus that can infect you...well that's rolling the dice. Only you can protect yourself.

Excellent book, I can't recommend this enough - it can save at least one life, there aren't enough stars to give this memoir. Thank you Regan Hofmann for sharing your story.