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If I Have to Tell You One More Time. . .: the Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling [Hardcover] Paperback – 2011


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Product Details

  • Paperback
  • ASIN: B005JS56GQ
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (96 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #9,185,786 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Change the parent and the child will follow.
Juliette Keener
If you are tired of yelling at and nagging your kids, and wish you were enjoying being a parent more, this book can help you instantly turn things around.
A. Goldfarb
The book by itself provides all the basic information and enough detail to implement the tools.
A. Rodgers

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

73 of 82 people found the following review helpful By Natalie on September 5, 2011
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I have a 4-year-old toddler, who is pretty good and obedient most of the time, but I could not for the life of me get her to clean up her toys. I found myself raising my voice and using threats over this issue, so when I saw the title of this book, it immediately drew my attention. And after reading this book, I learned that it wasn't so much "what" I did but 'how" I did it. I would take away her toys as a logical consequence for not cleaning up (which the book supports) but until I read this book, I couldn't see why that consequence alone didn't work (this is just one example of what I learned).

I've read several parenting books (The Happiest Toddler on the Block, 1-2-3 Magic, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and LIsten So Kids Will Talk...). I learned a lot from those books, but If I Have to Tell You One More Time is hands-down the best. McCready shows you how to eliminate the root of the misbehaviors. I would call it a misbehavior prevention program where there are a lot of empowering of kids, training of kids, giving consequences (not punishments) to kids, etc... The book isn't overly stuffed with psychological babble, but instead has clear, direct instructions and examples of how parents should implement the tools. I also love how McCready empathizes with the parents and then empowers them. There were some things I didn't agree with and some things I wish McCready would have addressed like hitting, lying, stealing, etc. especially because she doesn't believe in "punishing" kids. But overall, it is an excellent book that every parent should read.

And yes, parents, you actually have to parent. And it's hard (it's supposed to be!).
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30 of 35 people found the following review helpful By Robert J. Stolz on August 16, 2011
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I pre-ordered this book because a friend of mine recommended Amy's parenting online training. I decided to read her book to see if the online training was something I would be interested in investing in. Well, I've already signed up! So worth it!

I started reading the book when it arrived a couple of weeks ago, and literally had "a-ha" parenting insights throughout every chapter.

I have 3 children all under the age of 7 and this summer has been a very trying/tiring parental challenge with boredom and lack of structure feeding into sibling fights, back talk, sleep struggles, general aggression, etc. But I feel invigorated now due to Amy's no-nonsense and clear instruction! I'm no longer counting down the days until school re-starts! As an example, all 3 went to bed last night without one single power struggle or wake-up!

So ... I highly recommend this book!
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Alice Xu on August 7, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This book really hits the nail on the head on many important theories and practical examples. Even for a serial book worm like me who have read many dozen of self-help books, there are lightbulb moments everywhere as I read along!

I have learnt how positive thinking and praise encourages development in other books, but getting it to work in practice is still a bumpy road. Now I know that certain praise (eg. you are the smartest, i am so proud of you) actually has subtle side effects, whereas the praise should focus on effort and improvements. The book spends a lot of time on this issue and more important give you real phrases to use in real life, absolutely godsend for I always struggle to find the right words to convey what I had in mind.

Another example is on chores and setting allowance for children. I kept hearing from other parents how they tie allowance to doing chores and I always wonder how it would work. Now I know it doesn't, chores should not be tied to rewards, it need to be internal, a way to contribute to family. Allowance is a tool for learning finance skill, should absolutely not tied to allowance as it becomes a reward and discourage selfless act of helping the family out.

I am always amazed at the power of the timeout/naughty-corner and 1-2-3 techniques I saw from tv nanny shows. The book demonstrates why they don't work long term (they work short term if not over used, thus why so effective on tv) and give much better tools to overcome misbehaviour in children

Another lightbulb moment is when the book talks about the various ego states (parent/adult/child) and how we should act more in the child state to better communication with kids. Treating kids with respect and recognition.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Chocoholic on January 8, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have subscribed to Amy's video program, I've read her book, and I've listened to portions of the book on Audible. I'm still having a very hard time implementing the tools she recommends.

Here is an example: Amy has a tool called "when . . . then". You tell then child "when you finish cleaning up after dinner, then you can have your treat" or something similar. What she doesn't go over for each of her tools is how to handle all the uncontrollable whining, tantrums and continuous fighting that ensues when you try to initiate these boundaries.

For the "when . . . then" tool, one of her examples is to say to the child "when you load the dishwasher, then you can come to the table for dinner.". What she doesn't cover is what to do when the child refuses to do the chore and doesn't care about the "privilege". She simply says the child will have no choice but to comply. But the child does have a choice: not to eat dinner. Now, I don't really care whether my child misses a meal, but it's one of my husband's hot buttons, and he goes nuts if that is going to happen.

Amy has similar recommendations for ensuring routines. I am big on routines in my house. But I still can't get my boys to get ready for bed independently without playing around, dawdling, etc. I tell them it cuts into their story time, I give them the "when . . . then", etc. It doesn't change their behavior. They just continue to do what they are going to do. They get a shorter story time, but if they dawdle or misbehave so much that there isn't any time left for stories, all hell breaks loose!
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More About the Author

Parenting expert Amy McCready is a "recovering yeller" and the Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. She is a champion of positive parenting techniques for happier families and well-behaved kids. Her Toolbox strategies have empowered tens of thousands of parents to correct their kids' misbehaviors without nagging, reminding or yelling.

Amy reaches a worldwide audience with her Positive Parenting Solutions Online parenting course, live webinars, and media appearances. Amy is a frequent guest on the TODAY Show and has also appeared on Rachael Ray, CNN, Fox & Friends, MSNBC, and elsewhere.

Amy is a sought after keynote speaker, writer, parenting coach and corporate spokesperson. In her most important role, she plays mom to two teenage boys. She has been married to her husband, Dave, for over 20 years and lives in Raleigh, North Carolina. You can learn more at www.amymccready (dot) com or www.positiveparentingsolutions (dot) com.

Follow Amy McCready on Facebook at www.facebook.com/PositiveParentingSolutions and on Twitter at twitter.com/AmyMcCreadyPPS