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72 of 80 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Yes, Parents, You Actually Have to Parent!
I have a 4-year-old toddler, who is pretty good and obedient most of the time, but I could not for the life of me get her to clean up her toys. I found myself raising my voice and using threats over this issue, so when I saw the title of this book, it immediately drew my attention. And after reading this book, I learned that it wasn't so much "what" I did but 'how" I did...
Published on September 5, 2011 by Natalie

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Seems to Be Missing Critical Info
I have subscribed to Amy's video program, I've read her book, and I've listened to portions of the book on Audible. I'm still having a very hard time implementing the tools she recommends.

Here is an example: Amy has a tool called "when . . . then". You tell then child "when you finish cleaning up after dinner, then you can have your treat" or...
Published 18 days ago by Chocoholic


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72 of 80 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Yes, Parents, You Actually Have to Parent!, September 5, 2011
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This review is from: If I Have to Tell You One More Time. . .: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling (Hardcover)
I have a 4-year-old toddler, who is pretty good and obedient most of the time, but I could not for the life of me get her to clean up her toys. I found myself raising my voice and using threats over this issue, so when I saw the title of this book, it immediately drew my attention. And after reading this book, I learned that it wasn't so much "what" I did but 'how" I did it. I would take away her toys as a logical consequence for not cleaning up (which the book supports) but until I read this book, I couldn't see why that consequence alone didn't work (this is just one example of what I learned).

I've read several parenting books (The Happiest Toddler on the Block, 1-2-3 Magic, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and LIsten So Kids Will Talk...). I learned a lot from those books, but If I Have to Tell You One More Time is hands-down the best. McCready shows you how to eliminate the root of the misbehaviors. I would call it a misbehavior prevention program where there are a lot of empowering of kids, training of kids, giving consequences (not punishments) to kids, etc... The book isn't overly stuffed with psychological babble, but instead has clear, direct instructions and examples of how parents should implement the tools. I also love how McCready empathizes with the parents and then empowers them. There were some things I didn't agree with and some things I wish McCready would have addressed like hitting, lying, stealing, etc. especially because she doesn't believe in "punishing" kids. But overall, it is an excellent book that every parent should read.

And yes, parents, you actually have to parent. And it's hard (it's supposed to be!). It annoys the daylights out of me when parents blame their kids for the misbehaviors, (it's their personality, it's just a "phase" they're going through, they just won't listen, etc). So, if you're not willing to change, put in some hard work, or make your children your TOP priority, then this book isn't for you (or any parenting book for that matter).

This book is for parents of toddlers to teenagers. If you have kids younger than 2, I would suggest reading The Happiest Toddler on the Block which gives great tools for disciplining those little ones. I would also recommend having your spouse and caregivers of your children read this book so everyone is on the same page.
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30 of 35 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Are you looking for an "A-HA" parenting moment?, August 16, 2011
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This review is from: If I Have to Tell You One More Time. . .: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling (Hardcover)
I pre-ordered this book because a friend of mine recommended Amy's parenting online training. I decided to read her book to see if the online training was something I would be interested in investing in. Well, I've already signed up! So worth it!

I started reading the book when it arrived a couple of weeks ago, and literally had "a-ha" parenting insights throughout every chapter.

I have 3 children all under the age of 7 and this summer has been a very trying/tiring parental challenge with boredom and lack of structure feeding into sibling fights, back talk, sleep struggles, general aggression, etc. But I feel invigorated now due to Amy's no-nonsense and clear instruction! I'm no longer counting down the days until school re-starts! As an example, all 3 went to bed last night without one single power struggle or wake-up!

So ... I highly recommend this book!
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This is the best parenting book and a lot of the ideas are useful for adult communication too, August 7, 2013
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This book really hits the nail on the head on many important theories and practical examples. Even for a serial book worm like me who have read many dozen of self-help books, there are lightbulb moments everywhere as I read along!

I have learnt how positive thinking and praise encourages development in other books, but getting it to work in practice is still a bumpy road. Now I know that certain praise (eg. you are the smartest, i am so proud of you) actually has subtle side effects, whereas the praise should focus on effort and improvements. The book spends a lot of time on this issue and more important give you real phrases to use in real life, absolutely godsend for I always struggle to find the right words to convey what I had in mind.

Another example is on chores and setting allowance for children. I kept hearing from other parents how they tie allowance to doing chores and I always wonder how it would work. Now I know it doesn't, chores should not be tied to rewards, it need to be internal, a way to contribute to family. Allowance is a tool for learning finance skill, should absolutely not tied to allowance as it becomes a reward and discourage selfless act of helping the family out.

I am always amazed at the power of the timeout/naughty-corner and 1-2-3 techniques I saw from tv nanny shows. The book demonstrates why they don't work long term (they work short term if not over used, thus why so effective on tv) and give much better tools to overcome misbehaviour in children

Another lightbulb moment is when the book talks about the various ego states (parent/adult/child) and how we should act more in the child state to better communication with kids. Treating kids with respect and recognition. These are the exact same ideas I found extremely useful in my professional life, adults crave for the exact same things as kids! While it seemed natural in the adult world (well, after reading and practicing these principles at work for years), how did I not realized earlier that the same can be apply to kids!

anyway, I am only 1/3 of the way through the book and already i need to stop so many times, jot down notes, re-read paragraphs, and the lessons I learnt so far is worth many times the cost of the book already
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15 of 18 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Changed our family dramatically, January 16, 2013
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Time out's don't work in this house and we have a VERY stubborn, spirited and strong willed child. Now that we focus on "discipline" rather than "punishment", things have really begun to change. We also noticed that we were spending lots of time with her, but it wasn't "child ego" time, we were still distracted. This helps HEAPS in filling her emotional tank and curbing that whining. Tips to stop yelling have helped as they never worked anyway. Teaching respectful ways of getting tasks done with natural consequences has been key - I firmly believe this approach will help prevent rebellion in teenage yrs as kids will learn WHY they should/shouldn't do xyz, rather than punishing and teaching them to hide wrong choices instead. Her approach is backed up with research.

My only gripe is that I find a few of her approaches too permissive (for strong willed kids they need VERY clear and firm boundaries). I recommend a few books for these personality types: 'Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child' (too much time out but a good lesson in the 'dances' we find ourselves in with our kids) and some of Harville Hendrix's work. She skips over some very important issues I would've really liked her input on ie. stealing. Whilst I agree it's good to question the child's motives, I think a bigger approach is needed.

But the tenet of the book is VERY good. It's a good foundation for parents that works well across ALL personality types of children. Parents may need to seek further help for their OWN issues that lead them to not get the best from their kids. And of course you may like to tweak some of her advice to suit your own beliefs (ie in our house we don't waste food and nutrition is important to us, so we have a slightly different, but still respectful, approach to her advice there).

I'm very pleased to have this book and recommend it highly to everyone.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Learned a lot...., January 25, 2013
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I learned a lot about myself from reading this book. I thought I was going to learn how to make my child change but it was more about learning to change myself and my actions an words.
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12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome, Amazing, EFFECTIVE, January 21, 2012
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This review is from: If I Have to Tell You One More Time. . .: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling (Hardcover)
This is BY FAR the best book I've read on how to EFFECTIVELY stop the whining in our home and increase the listening skills of my 4 year old. We were getting increasingly frustrated with our daughter for the persistent whining and the refusal to listen to our wishes - to the point that we were starting to raise our voices and there was a general unhappiness in the air. Out of desperation, I decided to purchase this book, and it was the best decision I have made!!

I started putting the techniques to use immediately, and within 3 days there were HUGE changes. After 6 days, our family is practically unrecognizable. No more yelling, no more frustration, increased happiness, respect and patience. And the best part - I can see a huge increase in my daughter's happiness, which is most important to me. She loves her special time with us (a tool suggested in the book), and we love the relief from the constant whining.

If you are looking at these reviews, you are obviously in the same boat we were in. BUY THIS BOOK. You will not regret it!
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25 of 32 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Unlike any other parenting book - a must read for all parents!, August 4, 2011
This review is from: If I Have to Tell You One More Time. . .: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling (Hardcover)
As a busy mom of two girls, this book is an absolute life-saver. It turns out many of my intuitive reactions to correct my kids' misbehaviors were actually making the problems worse - and this book draws on Adlerian Psychology principles to explain why.

I love the author's approach to discipline - it's all about empowering your kids, not shaming or blaming them. McCready makes an important distinction between discipline and punishment - the word discipline comes from the root disciple, which means to teach or to train. That was just one of many "a ha" moments in this book. It seems so simple - but so many parents just punish their kids for misbehavior without teaching the child to actually make better choices in the future.

Unlike the majority of parenting books out there, this one goes beyond just theory and advice, with an actual "toolbox" that arms parents with proven, effective, and respectful tools that REALLY work. I am so grateful to have this book- it's made a difference in the short term and I have no doubt the long-term impact on my girls will be even greater. I now know I'm raising them to be self-reliant, confident people who know how to make good choices.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful Book for Parents!, August 1, 2012
By 
NCMom (Raleigh, NC USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: If I Have to Tell You One More Time. . .: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling (Hardcover)
This is a great resource for parents who feel as if they are going to pull their hair out due to their challenging childrens behavior. Our daughter is ADHD and slightly OCD as well, but with Amy's book and suggestions it's been a wonderful help! Now that she's 11 the emotional change with puberty as well isn't as bad of a challenge as we thought it would be. Thanks, Amy, for your help with parents who have challenging children who are indeed blessings...
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars No more yelling! Ever!, August 14, 2011
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This review is from: If I Have to Tell You One More Time. . .: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling (Hardcover)
I love this book. My oldest daughter, age 3, is just getting into some of the really tricky phases of childhood and I feel like I came across these techniques just in time. My husband and I both read the book and were so relived to find effective ways of dealing with misbehavior, including preventative measures, without yelling. I really like the focus on training good behavior for the future--after all, it's our job as parents to help our kids become successful adults, and you can never start too early! And although my daughter still misbehaves sometimes, at least I know how to handle it, and I never have to get ugly. I highly recommend this book--you can tailor the tools to your own child so it really works for every household!
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11 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars No Longer Guessing on How to Parent, October 14, 2011
By 
A. Rodgers (Charlottesville, VA USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: If I Have to Tell You One More Time. . .: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling (Hardcover)
As a first-time mom, I've read at least a dozen books on parenting : "Make Children Mind Without Losing Yours," "1-2-3- Magic," "The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child," "Supernanny: How to Get the Best From Your Children," etc. From what I read, saw on TV and was told by more-seasoned parents, I thought time-outs and occasional spankings (light swats on the bottom really) would help keep my young daughter in line and straighten out disobedience or bad attitudes. There was little to no effect on my daughter. Time-outs just seemed to make her upset and withdrawn and me to feel bewildered; why weren't these punishments and systems working? I was following conventional wisdom but our family-life was slowly deteriorating instead of improving. Defiance was becoming a regular reaction from my daughter. It was so frustrating because I couldn't figure out how to make things better.

After trying the first tool that McCready teaches, the change in my 4-year-old daughter was within 48 hours. I was shocked. She is now more relaxed, happy to play on her own and I no longer feel like the "bad guy." The tools that McCready espouses take time to implement but I've found that I used to spend about that much time each day in frustration with and resentment towards my daughter. Most of that is now gone within weeks.

For instance, just trying to get out the door in the mornings or get her settled in bed at night took a lot of time and that time spent was rarely pleasant. It was chock-full of me doing a lot of nagging and my daughter whining and dragging her feet. Using McCready's tools, these things now run smoothly, my daughter is happier and content, and I look forward to those times instead of dreading the prospect of regularly facing my daughter in what often felt like a full-fledged battle of wills.

The book by itself provides all the basic information and enough detail to implement the tools. For me though, when I saw the wonderful and rather quick results from my "test-drive" of McCready's parenting approach, I decided that I wanted even more elaboration. I enrolled in her online program which has changed our family-life and has been worth every penny if not more.

Buy the book and read it. Try implementing just the first tool and see the changes that occur in your child(ren). The results will speak for themselves.
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