Have You Found Her: A Memoir and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more



or
Sign in to turn on 1-Click ordering
More Buying Choices
Have one to sell? Sell yours here
Start reading Have You Found Her: A Memoir on your Kindle in under a minute.

Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.
Sorry, this item is not available in
Image not available for
Color:
Image not available

To view this video download Flash Player

 

Have You Found Her: A Memoir [Paperback]

Janice Erlbaum
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)

List Price: $14.00
Price: $11.13 & FREE Shipping on orders over $25. Details
You Save: $2.87 (21%)
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Only 3 left in stock (more on the way).
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.
Want it Tuesday, May 28? Choose One-Day Shipping at checkout. Details

Formats

Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition --  
Paperback $11.13  
Summer Reading
Summer Reading
Browse the best books of summer including blockbusters, beach reads, and editors' picks in our Summer Reading Store.

Book Description

February 12, 2008
And every week, there was the unspoken question, the one I didn’t know enough to ask myself : Have you found her yet? The one who reminds you of you?

Twenty years after she lived at a homeless shelter for teens, Janice Erlbaum went back to volunteer. Now thirty-four years old and a successful writer, she’d changed her life for the better; now she wanted to help someone else–someone like the girl she’d once been.

Then she met Sam. A brilliant nineteen-year-old junkie savant, the product of a horrifically abusive home, Sam had been surviving alone on the streets since she was twelve and was now struggling for sobriety against the adverse health effects of long-term drug abuse.

Soon Janice found herself caring deeply for Sam, following her through detoxes and psych wards, halfway houses and hospitals, becoming ever more manically driven to save her from the sickness and sadness leftover from Sam’s terrible past. But just as Janice was on the verge of becoming the girl’s legal guardian, she made a shocking discovery: Sam was sicker than anyone knew, in ways nobody could have imagined.

Written with startling candor and immediacy, Have You Found Her is the story of one woman’s quest to save a girl’s life–and the hard truths she learns about herself along the way.

“A rich and compelling account . . . Ultimately this is a book about the narrator’s journey and the dangers that attend the urge within us all to believe we can save another soul. A terrific read.”
–Cammie McGovern, author of Eye Contact

Frequently Bought Together

Have You Found Her: A Memoir + Girlbomb: A Halfway Homeless Memoir
Price for both: $22.26

Buy the selected items together


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In winter 2004, 34-year-old Erlbaum (Girlbomb) volunteered at the shelter where she herself had lived as a teenager. Dubbed The Bead Lady by the residents, she hefted a large, rattling bag of beadworking supplies to the cafeteria once a week, hoping to reach out to a younger version of herself over jewelry-making sessions—to believe in them and listen to them, as her volunteer-orientation videotape had instructed. When she met Samantha, a charismatic 19-year-old addict with an unyielding resilience in spite of a horrific childhood, Erlbaum knew she'd found a favorite. Though Sam had been on the streets since age 12, she was well read and quite gifted as a writer—a prodigy, it seemed. The two quickly developed a friendship, which deepened over the next several months as Erlbaum comforted Sam through health problems, abuse flashbacks and rehab, promising her a trip to Disney World if she stayed sober. Erlbaum was determined to save Sam and even offered to become her legal guardian. Erlbaum realized that, at times, details in Sam's backstory didn't add up (she was a skilled classical pianist), but these incongruities raised only the occasional, short-lived suspicion. Finally, Erlbaum realized Sam had been lying to her all along (she actually came from a sold middle-class suburb and hadn't had the childhood she described), snookering her out of her time, attention and affection for a year. Erlbaum's narrative begins promisingly, her savior fantasies and insecurities rendered with honesty and self-effacing good humor. However, her conclusions fall flat, missing opportunities to ponder larger issues at work in the story and opting instead for a mere cautionary tale. (Mar.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"A rich and compelling account...Ultimately this is a book about the narrator's journey and the dangers that attend the urge within us all to believe we can save another soul. A terrific read."--Cammie McGovern, author of Eye Contact --This text refers to the Kindle Edition edition.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 348 pages
  • Publisher: Villard (February 12, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0812974573
  • ISBN-13: 978-0812974577
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #456,490 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I wrote a book. It's called GIRLBOMB: A Halfway Homeless Memoir. I hope you'll like it. But then, I also hope for world peace, and that hasn't happened yet.

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
(26)
4.6 out of 5 stars
This is definitely a memoir worth reading! pinkcypress  |  7 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A lesson in savior behavior March 4, 2008
Format:Paperback
Erlbaum's book strikes a chord for anyone who has dealt with a loved one with Borderline Personality Disorder. And for anyone co-dependent with a BPD sufferer. I have could have been Janice in this story, believing everything my BPD loved one told me about her unfortunate life, "protecting" (enabling) her, letting her manipulate me with her neediness and my desire to "save" her from the ugliness of her life. I know Erlbaum's book rings true because I lived it for 40 years before I finally figured out I was being played by a skillful liar and manipulater. Even though I knew where the story was going, I still hoped it would end differently, with a positive resolution in which everyone lives happily ever after. Guess I'm still pretty suseptible to the BPD way of life, huh?

If you have a loved one with BPD or you find yourself being someone's savior, read this book and know you are not alone. There are lots of us out there. We should start a club or something.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Most interesting memoir February 15, 2008
Format:Paperback
This is Janice Erlbaum's second memoir. Her first book told the story of her own teen years - years in which she was a runaway and a shelter resident who successfully transitioned out of that life. In Have You Found Her, Erlbaum writes about her experiences twenty years later as a volunteer at that same shelter. Because she was a writer at the time, she carefully documented in a journal what she did, what people said, and her feelings as she kept a weekly commitment as the "Bead Lady" who helped the girls make jewelry on Wednesday evenings.

As a volunteer, Erlbaum went through training which emphasized not having favorites among the residents, not giving gifts and certainly not giving out telephone numbers or personal information. She became obsessed with being at the shelter, looking for "the one that reminds you of you." While there she meets a homeless junkie, Samantha (Sam). Sam becomes Erlbaum's special friend at the shelter and Erlbaum is moved to try to help this girl get on her feet. Sam develops several illnesses and is hospitalized, sent to drug rehab, re-hospitalized and becomes more of a burden than Erlbaum had bargained for. Yet she cares very much for Sam until a peculiarity in Sam's diagnosis begins to affect her feelings.

Janice Erlbaum relates this piece of her life with the flair of an excellent novelist. I found myself forgetting that this wasn't a story that would have a reasonable resolution. When Erlbaum begins to investigate Sam's illnesses and then search for her birth family, the book read like a mystery thriller- and I could hardly put it down.

I enjoyed the book very much and am quite impressed with Erlbaum's ability to tell her own tale with such aplomb.

Armchair Interviews says: Good book group discussion questions are at the back of the book.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing story February 13, 2008
Format:Paperback
What an amazing, amazing book. I had to keep reminding myself that it was about real people!

In this, her second memoir, Janice tells the story of volunteering at the shelter she lived in briefly as a teenage and of meeting Sam. Although the relationship she forms with Sam may ultimately have been good for her, showing her that she had internal strength she would never have guessed out. It makes for a very powerful story.

I think the most interesting part of this book was Janice's honesty about her negative feelings toward Sam. To be able to say that you're angry at a person in Sam's position takes a lot of strength. The same to admit that you have doubts about the truth of what someone you care about says to you.

And this is a memoir that is easy to read. One might always be skeptical of the claim that a memoir reads like a novel, but in this case, I found that it did. I was drawn in from the very beginning, and ended the book hoping that Ms. Erlbaum will write another memoir in the future.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars A stunningly written, skillfully told story
I admire this book and Janice Earlbaum for writing it. Though it's a memoir, it's as compelling as a great thriller. Read more
Published 7 months ago by J. Sholl
5.0 out of 5 stars Honest. Guilty. Passionate and caring
One of the most brutally honest books about the "need" to give and what you get in return. Explores the great irony of "Who is the giver and who is the receiver? Read more
Published 10 months ago by DD
4.0 out of 5 stars Sometimes you can give too much of yourself
Have You Found Her is the true story of the time the author spent volunteering at a shelter for young homeless women and teens. Read more
Published 15 months ago by J. Baker
5.0 out of 5 stars This book changed my life!
I was very surprised when I originally found Janice Erlbaum and received this book from her at the University of Akron. Read more
Published on April 22, 2011 by Jennifer Brothers
5.0 out of 5 stars Terrific Book ! must read !!!!
To anyone who has ever been interested in psychology of a human mind, in mental illness as well as addiction, this book is a must read ! Read more
Published on August 3, 2010 by Ewelina13ny
5.0 out of 5 stars WOW
such a good book! liked it a lot better than girlbomb, although i thoroughly enjoyed both. this book was totally crazy, a complete adventure =) get ready for a fun ride...
Published on June 1, 2009 by Lizzy Tafoya
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful Book
I absolutely adored this book. I could barely put it down. The author does a tremendous job of telling her story, and it's a very interesting story at that. Read more
Published on February 16, 2009 by Scarlett
4.0 out of 5 stars A bit weird, but a good read
At the age of 15 Janice, the author, spends a few months in a homeless shelter in New York City. Because of this experience, 19 years later, she becomes a volunteer at the same... Read more
Published on January 9, 2009 by Succinct Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars good book
there is a first book to this whitch you dont have to read but it made alot more sense to me after reading it. i work as a youth coulsulor so this book was real life to me
Published on December 14, 2008 by Amy Florio
4.0 out of 5 stars Great Non-Fiction
Janice Erlbaum spent a couple of months in a homeless shelter when she was a teenager. It turned out to be an event that put her on the path to a successful and happy life. Read more
Published on December 7, 2008 by ReaderReader
Search Customer Reviews
Only search this product's reviews

What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?


Forums

Topic From this Discussion
Have You Found Her a memoir
I agree. The author's ability to be honest with herself and with her readers about the roller coaster of emotions she felt throughout her relationship with Sam is inspiring, amazing, and commendable. This book, which I had to keep reminding myself was a memoir, truly does read like a novel, and... Read more
Jan 7, 2008 by LadyShopsalot |  See all 8 posts
Have something you'd like to share about this product?
Start a new discussion
Topic:
First post:
Prompts for sign-in
 


Search Customer Discussions
Search all Amazon discussions




Look for Similar Items by Category