Customer Reviews

He Said, She Said, I Said - 7 Keys to Relationship Success

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Having been married to the same wife for decades, I remain on the lookout for advice about love and marriage that strikes me as realistic. Fortunately, in this book Barbara Peters provides frank, witty, and creative solutions for couples facing marital problems.

Both the format and the writing style will appeal to readers. Even though she cites other relationship authorities, the book never lapses into textbook dryness.

A sample of her clarity, combined with solid counsel: "Remember, communication is so much more than words, and if the way you deliver your words or present yourself isn't in alignment with what you are saying, your partner will hear the loudest statement. For instance, if you are saying loving words in a harsh tone of voice with body language indicating irritation, your significant other will 'hear' the irritation much more than the actual words themselves."

Peters sustains a candid tone: "No two human beings can always understand each other or will always be able to communicate in healthy, productive ways. There will be times that attempts at talking will escalate into confrontations that don't seem to be going anywhere." Again, "Life isn't always easy, predictable, or even fair."

Repeatedly, Barbara Peters helps couples realize that while they may not recapture the pulsating, all-consuming desire they felt during their courtship, their marriage will last--and even improve--when they seek intimacy of a different kind. She writes: "The first and most crucial step to rebuilding lost intimacy is to recognize, accept, and admit your relationship is not what you both want it to be, but knowing you both have the power to change it. Only then will you be open to experiences and opportunities facilitated by change."

In addition to benefiting from this book yourself, consider giving copies to newlyweds and to couples celebrating anniversaries. They will be grateful.

Please note that the author invited me to review this book. This invitation did not influence my review in any way. In fact, if anyone asked me to review a book only if I guaranteed a favorable review, I would decline the opportunity instantly, regardless of the prestige of the author or publisher.

This book is an easy read and it has something for everyone. Peters breaks her book down into several categories: Communication, Trust, Forgiveness, Intimacy, Acceptance, Friendship, and Love. As I mentioned, Hubby and I have had our fair share of communication issues so I found myself focusing mainly on that section. There were a couple of things that made me say "ah ha!" that I couldn't wait to show him. There were also some things that made me cringe and hope that he wouldn't see them (he did, since he read the book as well).

It may just be in my head, but I really feel like we're communicating better now. I find myself reacting much more calmly when we have a break down in communication and I think this book came at a good time for us. You can purchase your own copy of He Said, She Said, I Said by Barbara J. Peters on Amazon by clicking here. Barbara has graciously agreed to give away a copy of her book to one of my readers too! Enter the giveaway here: [...]

He Said, She Said, I Said, is a book in which we are able to actually hear what goes on in other couple's relationships. Often subject matters that people are not apt to discuss with their families or friends. So many of these we can relate to our very own. Both sides are stated, then a new window of understanding is opened allowing each to see the others point of view in a new light.
It's a brilliant lesson in life from an understanding and compassionate counselor. It is a must have to all those who want to take their relationship to a new level and make it last.
Barbara Peter's wisdom and enthusiasm for preserving relationships is easily noticed in this book.
A must have for anyone who has a partner.

This is a nice book, well written, with good, solid (if not earth shattering) advice that is likely to help couples over some of the more common sticking points in marriage.

Barbara Peters has written sound advice for every marriage. The format is easy to read. It presents a real problem from an individual that we all can relate to (He Said or She Said). Then Peters comes back with perspective on what lies behind the question and describes how to approach the issue without creating even more problems.

In the book, she addresses seven areas that a married couple will confront including: Communication, Trust, Forgiveness, Intimacy, Acceptance, Friendship, and Love. While the concepts might seem basic, they are important keys to building a lasting marriage. I have read many books on marriage that have opened my eyes to problems and solutions. This one accomplished that well.

I would recommend this book to people who are looking for answers. I believe it would be very helpful to those who are not yet ready or willing to seek out a professional counselor.

He Said, She Said, I Said - 7 Keys to Relationship Success

by Barbara J. Peters

So Barbara is a professional relationship counsellor. The book is a short informative summary of the important elements people need to know if they want to develop and maintain good relationships. These are the seven commandments : 1, Thou must Communicate, 2 Thou shall Trust one another, 3 Thou shall Forgive, 4 Thou will get Intimate (at least try for God sake) 5, Thou shall have Acceptance (of all kinds things like your wife's snoring and farting), You shall (ideally) be friends but it's not essential in my experience, lol. Last but not least. 7, LOVE one another. Because as Jesus said "Love covers a multitude of sins".

Now all this might sound like a statement of the bleeding obvious. But with domestic violence so prevalent at all levels of society, STD infection and teenage pregnancy on the rise and the 80,000 year old traditional family unit under serious threat, its not obvious at all. What seems like common sense, is in fact not all that common.

Who is interested in courtesy and polite sensible constructive communication ? Very few people these days. Women believe they have an insight into a reality about how the family budget is spent for example and often men have another point of view of how money is best spent on beer cars and gadgets..

The book attempts to provide solutions, I liked the idea of writing plans and agreements down. That way its clear who broke the agreement, both side can refer to the agreement.

This book should be taught in schools. "If" young men as feminists claim perceive girls or women to be mere sex objects, (that is all they are in porn, advertising and most media) and all young girls just want to be accepted good looking, stylish fashionable naively seeking the perfect man, rich, kind and enlightened in a night club in a bar or at work they end up seeking a man who looks good to breed from.

Then the women's magazines preach women must then dump their man and live alone. This thinking and life style is the enemy of the seven commandments in this book. The question the book is asking is how will people find the 7 commandments on their own ? Parents have failed.. schools have failed.. and we don't do religion as much as we used to.

People should all ask themselves the question: What will a relationship based on the opposite of the 7 commandments end up being like? The answer is violent and dysfunctional family units producing in turn more damaged children who will in turn end up repeating the cycle. So I think the book is a force for good.

I don't know if the book will get into the hands of those who need it most , that is because, those who need it most are the least likely to read it. We need to invent a helmet, that straps and locks onto the head of prisoners in jail, men and women it will have video glasses and audio, designed so the wearer can eat and drink but can't take the education helmet off. It could be a way to solve the domestic violence problem and reverse the trend of dysfunctional families.(a kind of dystopian forced education method like the one in the movie "a clock work orange") .

However, unlike my idea of forced education.. This book uses only kind gentle persuasion that is intended for those with open minds.

The book does what is says on the tin, I found it to be well written logical and it's worth the money

The review was of the kindle edition

Paul Kendall Leeds

He Said, She Said, I Said is a great book for couples! Barbara Peters understands the problem of how we interpret one another in love relationships, and she presents it in an engaging Q & A format that will keep you turning pages. She tackles the core areas of conflict that all couples experience, framing them in an easy, conversational style. Then, she re-frames these core issues (something we often struggle to do for ourselves) for a new, more empowering way to understand one another, and that is sometimes all you need to resolve them. This book is a valuable contribution to relationship and marriage enrichment.

"He Said, She Said, I Said" is another Barbara Peter's winner! The clarity with which she addresses the different perspectives and misconceptions that couples encounter hits the relationship target dead center!

What a fabulous, straightforward book from a therapist who knows what she's talking about! Barbara J. Peters covers seven key areas of relationships: communication, trust, forgiveness, intimacy, acceptance, friendship, and love. She calls upon many other experts, quoting them and their wisdom, to illustrate her points.

This book is filled with practical suggestions to help you create a happier marriage. Ms. Peter's gentle and kind personality comes through as she responds to what "he said" and what "she said," creating an easy to follow format for the reader.

I especially enjoyed the use of songs to illustrate the seven key areas, as I am a big Billy Joel fan, and his lyrics are about many of these relationship keys. This book is a treasure for me, personally, and is a book I can easily recommend to my clients.

Michelle E. Vásquez, MS, LPC