Is He Straight : A Checklist for Women Who Wonder [Paperback]

Bonnie Kaye (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0595004393 | ISBN-13: 978-0595004393 | Publication Date: May 2000 0

Is He Straight? The Checklist for Women Who Wonder offers a clear, concise perspective on the topic of straight/gay marriages based on one woman's experience of such a relationship and its aftermath and her counseling of thousands of women in the same situation. This is the only book of its kind to contain easy-to-use checklists that outline and reveal tell-tale signs and personality traits of potentially gay husbands as well as the women they consciously choose as wives. It also provides up-to-date information on how to find and start a local support group and offers a companion website on which to find answers and chat with others in a comparable situation.

The revised edition (2004) expands the original gay husband checklist and offers additional information about the effects of these marriages on women's personal feelings of sexual and self-esteem.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

Is He Straight? is a unique book which provides answers to women who are unsure of their companion's sexual orientation along with checklists and support information.

From the Author

Is He Straight: A Checklist for Women Who Wonder has now been updated and republished under the title The Gay Husband Checklist for Women Who Wonder (ISBN 0981024629) by CCB Publishing.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: iUniverse (May 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0595004393
• ISBN-13: 978-0595004393
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,582,534 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Something Makes Sense, August 17, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Is He Straight : A Checklist for Women Who Wonder (Paperback)

I read the book "Is He Straight, A Checklist for Women Who Wonder" at the urging of my wife. I have never been 100 percent honest with her about my sexuality because it was far too painful. I've justified my outside relationships to her claiming I was "bisexual." In Ms. Kaye's book, she hit the nail on the head. I am using that as an excuse to avoid the reality of my life. I am afraid that admitting I am homosexual will turn over the world that is secure and toss me into one that is so terrifying to me. I don't want to lose my wife. I do love her. As Ms. Kaye stated so eloquently, I didn't intent to "trick" my wife when I married her--I did love her. I was hoping that these attractions to men would disappear if I loved her enough--but they didn't. I know that living a lie can only hurt us both. My wife keeps confronting me about the truth, but after reading the book I can no longer lie about it. I am going to start therapy here in Maryland soon to see how I can come to terms with myself and give my wife the chance she needs to persue happiness on her own terms. I am hoping we can remain close and the best of friends. Is He Straight has given me the courage to face my own nightmares. Thank you Ms. Kaye, wherever you are, for giving me the courage to do what's right.

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Analyzing the Dynamics of Marriage, May 31, 2001

By 

Martin S. Cohen "Marty - The Critic's Critic" (Philadelphia, PA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Is He Straight : A Checklist for Women Who Wonder (Paperback)

Bonnie Kaye has written a text which undoubtedly can put the spotlight on marriages in trouble and that can not only help spouses come to terms with a life-altering problem, but also develop stragegies to deal with it. In her book, Is He Straight? A Checklist for Women Who Wonder, Ms. Kaye tells her own story in heartbreaking detail and shares with her readers HER way of dealing with the problems which ensue when a wife suspects her mate is gay or bi-sexual. She answers a variety of basic questions that cross the minds of wives faced with the possibility that their husbands are gay in a warm-hearted and authoritative manner; it's like having a good friend to talk to, someone who will listen to your problems and advise you from the point of view of having been their and having suffered the same fears and qualms. Her comments regarding concern for AIDS are most timely and can truly save lives. Her chapter dealing with children of a marriage on the brink of ending because of the revealed sexual orientation of the husband is very valuable in that it treats an issue that is crucial and one which often gets lost in the politics and selfishness of marital decisions based on sexual orientation. I recommend this book to anyone who has ever wondered about the sexual orientation of a spouse or significant other; the grief and anguish it can save is priceless.

18 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Saved My Life, July 18, 2005

By 

Ali (Reading, PA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Is He Straight : A Checklist for Women Who Wonder (Paperback)

My friend was telling me about this book because she was married to a gay man, and bought the book when it was recommended to her by a friend. I am single, but I am in a serious relationship and we were planning to get married in the Fall. I told my friend that my boyfriend is a very non-sexual person. My friend said that this is the time to read the book, before I get married, so I won't make the same mistake that her and her friend did. I would have never imagined that his sexuality would be an issue, because he is a very sporty, masculine man, and he has made negative comments about homosexuals. I am glad I read this book and could look for the warning signs before things got more serious with my relationship. My boyfriend denies having any issues, but he may not be able to admit it me or himself. Thank you for writing this book and saving me from a life of misery and confusion. Even if he is not gay, your book pointed out to me that I deserve to be happy, and should not settle for anything less.