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When I started working in hotels the computer screens glowed in one color, alien green, and the monitors were the size of boulders. We used to confidently toss comment cards in the trash (or, as we referred to it, file them in the “T” file) making them disappear forever. I used to cash checks by picking up the phone and speaking to another human being. Music in the lobby was usually provided by a piano player, who would swivel his head at passing guests with a ridiculous, pasty-looking smile as he tapped out non-offensive cover songs played with a non-offensive classical flourish.
Now, mid-volume, beat-heavy techno seeps from recessed speakers built into the lobby’s crown molding. The screens are flat. You can’t manage to direct anything from Trip Advisor into the “T” file and all the guests want to hook up their iPad to the toilet or whatever. And if you pay with a check I still have to pick up the phone, which is extremely irritating because who pays with checks anymore? Stop it.
But all of that change means nothing. Because I’ll tell you what hasn’t changed: The front desk agents, the bellmen, the doormen, the housekeepers, the room service attendants, and the managers. Hotel employees are still version 1.0 and I guarantee if you brought me to a bar and sat me next to a front desk agent from 1897, we’d over-drink and swap the same type of hilarious stories about the same type of insane guests. Hospitality, no matter how slick it gets, will always be a business run by people who serve people. It will always be about service. It will always take a person to explain that, no, you cannot hook up your iPad to the toilet but you can use it to control the lights and wirelessly play music through the in-room speaker system. And guests still, and hopefully will forever, hand me physical comment cards, which I will continue to throw in the trash.
During all these renovations (while I said things like, “Wait, they made the internet wireless? It’s in the goddamn air now?”) I was always writing. I grew up reading novel after novel and that’s all I wanted from life, to give back and write something good. After years of hotel work and relocations that took me from New Orleans to Paris to Copenhagen and ultimately New York City, I finally conceived the idea for Heads in Beds. I put everything I had into it, all my knowledge of the industry and the writing skills I’d developed since I was a child. I truly hope you find it funny and informative and that it helps you navigate the crooked halls of hospitality. That has always been my goal, to write something good.
That and hang out with a front desk agent from 1897.
No too distant from daily reality. Indeed, there are information that need to be more deeply analuzed. Overall, a well writtent book. I enjoyed reading and further learning.Published 4 days ago by FRANCESCO FERRARO
Very entertaining. If you are in the business you can really relate to everything this man says and if you are not, you can get an education on how important tipping your service... Read morePublished 4 days ago by Julie V. Ponce
A fun read from an inside perspective. Much of the shenanigans are what one would expect but hearing it from an insider put the rumors to bed.Published 6 days ago by SR
INCREDIBLY GOOD BOOK! The author claims that his undergraduate degree in philosophy was worthless, and this book proves him wrong. Read morePublished 6 days ago by J. D. Weinrich
Good insight into how the industry runs, interesting. There's a whole world of things we don't necessarily think about when we travelPublished 13 days ago by Jennifer
Most read, very funny and realistic at the same time...loved it.Published 21 days ago by Ilsa Torres
Great incite about how hotels really operate. Really enjoyed the parts in N'awlins. Made me miss home. I will be a bit more understanding at my future hotel stays.Published 28 days ago by Amazon Customer