211 of 213 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Turning Point in My Life, March 10, 2000
By A Customer
This review is from: Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families (Paperback)
After a tumultuous adolescence and early adulthood I found myself in therapy. My therapist recommended that I attend a self-help group for adult children of dysfunctional families. The therapist also suggested that I read "Healing the Child Within". I didn't think I needed any self help group -at least not badly enough to go through the trouble of actually finding such a group in my area. After being in therapy for one year I read "Healing the Child Within".
I was not physically or sexually abused as a child. What I did not understand was how pervasive and harmful the emotional NEGLECT was and how it still affected me as an adult. What I learned from this book was how much I had been deprived of as a child. How feelings of fear and anxiety as an adult could be the result of childhood experience. After reading this book I was left with a very strong desire to attend a self help group. I attended my first ACoA group in October 1988 and my life has gotten better in ways I cannot put into words. This book for me was not the answer but a trigger to seek further help. But if I had not had this trigger I would not be where I am today. In the context of a trigger, I can honestly say that this book changed my life in a very profound way.
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182 of 188 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
MUST READ for spiritually abused adult children!!!, June 21, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families (Paperback)
Most books on disfunctional families assume alcoholism and/or drug abuse. There isn't much literature that addresses the problem of family disfunction recognising that symptoms/causes can manifest in other ways.
The parental conditions he lists that tend to stifle the child within are: chemical dependence; co-dependence; chronic mental illness or disabling physical illness; extreme rigidity, punitiveness, judgementalness, non-loving, perfectionism, or inadequacy; child abuse--physical, sexual, mental-emotional and/or spiritual; denial of feelings of reality.
Spiritually abused adult children, even if no physical abuse ever occurred in conjunction, tend to have experienced co-dependence (boundaries are crossed and roles are mixed up in unhealthy ways), rigidity, judgementalness, perfectionism, and denial of feelings of reality, in addition to the description he gives for mental/emotional/spiritual abuse.
He develops heirarchical list of 20 human needs, drawing from Maslov, Miller, Weil, and Glasser, and develops the concept that in order for a human being to be whole and healthy and ready to follow a truly spiritual path, these needs must first be met, in order of most basic to highest potential. Most basic, of course, survival and safety; highest potential is unconditional love (including connection with a Higher Power.)
He explains the cycle of shame and low self esteem, and maps how healthy boundaries are crossed by all in a shame based family.
He describes the role of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and it's treatment.
He then describes the steps of healing; no step can be skipped in order to reach true "Genesis (Spirituality)":
Begin to deal with core issues, identify and re-experience our feelings, go through the process of grieving, integrating, and finally, spirituality.
If you have experienced spiritual abuse in your life (as a child or adult), or aren't sure whether you have, but relate to these issues, then this book is a MUST READ!!!!
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40 of 40 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Eye Opening Book, May 26, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families (Paperback)
Prior to reading this book, I didn't consider that I was an abused child. Dr. Whitfield explores all forms of abuse with the reader. I considered my family Dysfunctional, but not to the extent of abuse. I now realize that emotional abuse is as real as physical abuse and can deal with it and get on with a more emotionally healthy life. Dr. Whitfield does a marvelous job assisting the reader in discovering their pain and themselves. Thank you Dr. Whitfield, I can now stop making excuses for my parents, deal with my pain, forgive my parents, heal, and discover my child within.
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