The Healing Connection: How Women Form Relationships in Therapy and in Life [Paperback]

Jean Baker Miller (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0807029211 | ISBN-13: 978-0807029213 | Publication Date: September 1, 1998

In The Healing Connection, Jean Baker Miller, M.D., author of the best-selling Toward a New Psychology of Women, and Irene Stiver, Ph.D., argue that relationships are the integral source of psychological health. In so doing they offer a new understanding of human development that points a way to change in all of our institutions-work, community, school, and family-and is sure to transform lives.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Once again therapists Stiver and Miller (Toward a New Psychology of Women, LJ 9/1/76) challenge the traditional views of human development. Their work focuses on women and the importance of growth-fostering connections in their day-to-day relationships. Empathy is the key word. If a "connection" or empathetic encounter does not take place, "disconnections" occur that over time can cause many psychological problems. The authors describe how this new understanding has changed the way they do therapy. Vivid examples from their own experience as therapists substantiate their views. The authors believe that their studies, done mainly with white women, are also relevant to women of other cultures and to men and have set the groundwork for further exploration in relational therapy. Extensive endnotes are included along with suggested readings. Recommended for general academic and public collections, essential for libraries with women's studies collections.?Elizabeth Goeters, DeKalb Coll. Lib., Dunwoody, Ga.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Kirkus Reviews

A succinct account of why some women have difficulties entering into ``growth-fostering'' relationships and how, with the help of therapy, they can grow in this regard. Miller (Toward a New Psychology of Women, 1976), one of the leading theorists of feminist psychology, and Stiver, former director of McLean Hospital's psychology department, bring a clear feminist perspective to their research, demonstrating how, for example, the experience of power inequities at work or in relationships can make women act in inhibited or ingratiating ways. Yet the authors' work has almost as much relevance for men, particularly in their probing and sensitive exploration of what they call ``strategies of disconnection,'' such as a disinclination to enter into intimate relationships or to emotionally engage a therapist. Miller and Stiver point to three major childhood sources of such emotional distancing: deep family secrets that children intuit and that sometimes haunt them; parental emotional inaccessibility; and family circumstances that ``parentify'' a child, that is, force the child to assume certain adult responsibilities in the home. Rather than viewing lack of therapeutic engagement as resistance, as traditional interpretations would have it, Baker and Stiver view such ``disconnection'' as a necessary strategy to protect a traumatized or otherwise vulnerable sense of self. The authors sometimes lapse into psychobabble, particularly in overusing the word ``empowering,'' one of the limper adjectives of contemporary popular psychology. But more often, their helpful book, which will be of interest to both clinicians and their clients, is written in clear-headed prose and features a significant number of useful case studies. -- Copyright ©1997, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 248 pages
• Publisher: Beacon Press (September 1, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0807029211
• ISBN-13: 978-0807029213
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.3 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #307,489 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An approach to psychology that women will embrace, December 18, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: The Healing Connection: How Women Form Relationships in Therapy and in Life (Paperback)

This book was recommended to me by a professional in the field. I poured over it's theory, built of moving examples, rather easy and engrossing to read. Now I see that a desire for connection is not a weakness, but a strength.

This book demonstrates how traditional psychology is based on a male point of view, and it reveals some of the unknown about healthly "life-giving" attitudes. Read this quickly, before you buy into an archaic model once again. Amazing, in this day and age, that this light has not been shed on us before.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars An exciting new perspective in psychology, August 22, 2007

By 

C "C" (California Bay Area) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Healing Connection: How Women Form Relationships in Therapy and in Life (Paperback)

Instead of basing psychology from the point of view of the individual and personal gratification and development, this book shifts our view to the realm of relationships and connection. The basic human need is not solely self-gratification in the way we usually think of it, but a desire for mutually empathic & empowering connection with others which is gratifying and results in psychological growth for all parties. The book lays out the beginnings of this new view and what it means to psychology. The book reflects the fact that this theory is still new and developing. The ideas and thoughts are sure to make a difference in the way psychology is practiced in the future. All the basics of this aspect of psychology are laid out and illustrated. Though there is still work to be done in this area of the field, the book is a good opening.

5.0 out of 5 stars An alternate paradigm, January 17, 2012

By 

Molly Stehn - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Healing Connection: How Women Form Relationships in Therapy and in Life (Paperback)

This book presents an alternate (and IMHO preferable) paradigm for psychology, particularly with regard to women.

Yes, the authors' only specific references to traditional psychology are with regard to psychoanalysis. However, in my opinion the extension to CBT and other typical theories and practices of human development and psychotherapy is implicit, as most of these approaches are firmly grounded in a male-dominated, positivist paradigm. Therefore, I have no qualms with the lack of generalizable research backing this theory, because in order to perform generalizable research one would have to subscribe to the male-dominated, positivist paradigm.

This book, as well as other writings from the Stone Center, have drastically changed my understanding of development and mental health, as well as my practice of psychotherapy.