Customer Reviews

Healing Homosexuality: Case Stories of Reparative Therapy

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(9)

 

 

WOW,
I am in reparative therapy right now and when I read Joseph Nicolosi's book it was like reading my life story. Not in the details, but in the descriptions.

Definitely NOT for those who don't feel the angst of trying to live a homosexual lifestyle, but definitely for those who feel they can no longer be happy in the lifestyle.

For one to benefit both from this book and reparative therapy one must be willing to look deep within and stop fighting life.

I find his argument, explanation, and methodology to speak directly to my life condition. I am grateful to find an outline that indicates and points me within, towards health growth and change.

A most excellent book!

In my personal struggles to overcome homosexuality, no other book short of the Scriptures has brought the issues I deal with into such clarity. Dr. Nicolosi describes six men and their recovery from the hurt, confusion, and struggle of same-gender attraction. It is easy reading yet contains life-changing ideas in a single sentence or paragraph. The book clearly helps men who love other men see why they are succeptible to homosexuality and gives sound, empowering, and true methods of overcoming that which saps many men of their masculinity. Unlike other books which treat symptoms, Healing Homosexuality gives a cure for the sickness.

I am not a recovering homosexual. I am a recovering heterosexual. Mr Nicolosi's book convinced me of that.

I don't believe there is anything in any way wrong with being gay and I am quite agnostic on where gay-ness comes from. I am inclined to believe that there are a fair number of gay men who just are, and were always going to be, gay. On the other hand I believe there are very many gay men whose sexual orientation can very plausibly be explained by looking at their childhood environment.

If there is any major criticism I would have of Mr Nicolosi's analysis it is that he doesn't leave enough room for the possibility that many gay men just are gay full stop; nothing to do with environment; no question of it being any other way.

On the other hand his collection of case studies highlights the other side of the coin - the men who could have grown up quite differently - in a way I have never seen elsewhere. Reading the stories I heard many of my innermost feelings e! xpressed by others for the very first time. No particular case fitted my own exactly, but most contained some insight which made me smile or weep with recognition.

The overriding theme is the role of fathers in boys' gender identity and what can happen when fathers are absent, weak, laughable, violent, demanding and more, and when sons are timid, introverted, weak and, crucially, alienated from male life.

Nicolosi backed up, to an extent I could not have imagined possible, my own analysis of my sexuality. Almost all my life my primary erotic impulse was towards men. Why didn't I simply accept that I was gay? Quite simply, because I became more and more aware as time went on that my gayness wasn't a joyful sexuality. It wasn't just a preference for the male form and male company. More than anything it stemmed from a chronic failure of gender identity which also denied me self-respect. Becoming non-gay is just a side effect of what I, and Nicolosi's patients, really need to ! achieve: to take charge of our lives, assume our sense of o! ur own maleness and thereby learn to love ourselves.

Briefly, the text offers numerous case composites that expose the dynamics of a man's father-child, mother-child, and father-mother relationships and how they impact his gender identification and alienation. The approach is compassionate and non-judgemental. Nicolosi's approach has borne itself out over and over in my own Christian psychotherapy practice.

Homosexual recovery is a mixed blessing. It allows a conflicted human a choice, but not a choice per se about sexual orientation. The recovery is similar to the alcoholic who must live a different life not drinking, but one drink can ruin the whole new pattern. I do not think a person who accepts "gayness" as okay can appreciate this. Furthermore if the theory which underlies reparative therapy were not sound I do not think there would be results. No one is not going to become totally straight, but with the conflictual pressure relieved there is a new opportunity for choice. Those who work hard enough to reach that place choose not to be gay. If what one desires is not making one happy, then work on new things. This is very hard to do, and makes it seem like the problem IS genetics. I like Nicolosi's work because though there is a religious tone, it is not the basis for the work or change. Also Van Den Aardverg's work is rather factual. I think people who realize they are not going to pray themselves to wholeness for any problem and who are willing to work can handle these works well. Prayer is no substitute for therapeutic work. I think many have ridden on this issue for fame and gain with too much of a religious slant. I don't think Nicolosi has.

Whatever your opinion is off reparative therapy for homosexuals, it is difficult not to admire and emphathize with the struggles of the brave souls presented in this book. In a very frank conversational tone (the words are taken directly from therapy sessions) readers observe the painful struggles of those who chose to leave the gay lifestyle behind. The discussions also present a clear picture of the causes of homosexuality and prove that change is a realistic although difficult goal for those who seek hetrosexuality.

One small complaint is that either Dr. Nicolosi or his editors chopped too much out of certain stories. More details in several cases would have been a plus.

This powerful book has been enormously helpful to me in understanding homosexual behavior and orientation, and in counseling others in dealing with both homosexual and heterosexual addictions.

This is a fine study of the psychological causes of sexualorientation and some of the practical strategies for dealing withsexual addiction. What the author has to say about homosexuality willnot be popular with self-appointed gay activists ..., but it is basedon painstaking scientific research.

Many deep and good insights. Underscores that the issues are painful ones but healing only comes when we face the pain, however gently as necessary. I felt the ideas were all useful for those of us.
An excellent book.

Finally I found a book wich helped me understand my feelings better instead of the crap therapy I have been having for 3 years now. I like homosexuality, but to me my life is incompleet without heterosexuality. This book helped my to heal my injured male feelings and regain my self pride. Affirmative gay therapie makes me feel bad. I was glag to read this book and can recommend it.