The Healing of Individuals, Families & Nations: Transgenerational Healing & Family Constellations Book 1 (Trans-Generational Healing & Family Constellations series) [Paperback]

John L. Payne (Author)

Book Description

Series: Trans-Generational Healing & Family Constellations series | Publication Date: September 1, 2005

Sheds new light on the relationships between victims and perpetrators, be they from governments and regimes, wars, sexual abuse or crime.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"The healing power of this book comes from stating simple truths" -- Iyanla Vanzant

"Written out of high professional competence and rich psychotherapeutic experience, this book includes a full range of vivid and often touching case stories which comment on a wide variety of life problems, symptoms, traumatic events and diseases, where family constellations have proved their amazing effectiveness. I find especially convincing how John works with the trans-generational transmission of trauma and how even the most burdened ancestors become an essential source of strength, of loving self-esteem and compassion in our lives."

--Albrecht Mahr, M.D. -- Endorsement

"a very rich, comprehensive and theoretically well grounded book on systemic constellation work.Written out of high professional competence" -- Albrecht Mahr, M.D.

"provides a profound introduction into the world of Family Constellations" -- Dr Bertold Ulsamer

From the Publisher

This book's perspective on healing will expand the reader's vison, beyond the scope of healing as a purely individual and personal matter, to one that spans generations in its scope, crosses racial and cultural barriers and sheds new light on relationships between victims and perpetrators, be they from governments and regimes, wars, sexual abuse or crime.

Payne's "Orders of Love" describe a natural pattern that has been observed in the practice of Family Constellations - namely, that there is a distinct order stating who belongs and who does not belong, not only in a family system, but also in larger groups such as nations. With its many examples and stories, Payne's book brings back into belonging those who have been excluded and bridges the gap between the healing of an individual and the healing of a family, ethnic and national souls.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Findhorn Press (September 1, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1844090663
• ISBN-13: 978-1844090662
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #368,513 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

John L. Payne is the author of The Healing of Individuals, Families and Nation, The Language of the Soul and The Presence of the Soul. He has facilitated more than 350 workshops on 5 continents with the majority of his rich experience being gained in post apartheid South Africa. Having lived in several countries on four continents his multi cultural and multi lingual background gives him a rich diversity of experience and knowledge that lends itself to deeply transformative ancestral and family systems healing.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Elegant and Informative, December 14, 2005

By 

R. A. Higgins (Johannesburg, South Africa) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Healing of Individuals, Families & Nations: Transgenerational Healing & Family Constellations Book 1 (Trans-Generational Healing & Family Constellations series) (Paperback)

As someone who is currently studying to become a Family Constellations Facilitator, I found John L Payne's book to be most timely and profoundly informative. As a phenomenological, energy-based modality, Family Constellations is a difficult subject to translate into the written word. Most of what I had read previously, has been translated from German or Dutch, and often lacks the elegant use of language which is so much part of this work. Written in an erudite yet lucid style, Mr Payne's book is highly accessible to both those who are new to the subject, and those who are already familiar with the work. Particularly impressive is Mr Payne's experiences with different cultures around the world and the expanded insights he offers into what, up until recently, has been a very Eurocentric modality.
I commend you on your work, and am sure that "The Healing of Individuals, Families and Nations" is destined to do exactly that, and to become a classic reference work for future Family Constellation Facilitators.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent practical view of Family Constellations, February 23, 2007

By 

Deborah Donndelinger - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Healing of Individuals, Families & Nations: Transgenerational Healing & Family Constellations Book 1 (Trans-Generational Healing & Family Constellations series) (Paperback)

John's book is very helpful in explaining the concept and application of family constellations. He is easy to understand and provides many useful examples in clear language. I enjoyed both of his books on Family Constellations and look forward to his next one. I have participated in F.C. workshops myself and his books added another dimension of understanding for myself.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars an outstanding book that introduces the concepts and methods of Family Constellation therapy, September 3, 2010

By 

D. Benor - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Healing of Individuals, Families & Nations: Transgenerational Healing & Family Constellations Book 1 (Trans-Generational Healing & Family Constellations series) (Paperback)

Here is an outstanding book that introduces the concepts and methods of Family Constellation therapy. This work is done in workshop groups, where participants take turns in staging their family relationships with the help of the others in the workshop, under the guidance of the therapist. The workshop participants, who are chosen by the person whose family relationships are being staged, have no direct knowledge of any sort about the family members they are representing. Amazingly, each participant intuitively knows what their emotional attachments and feelings are - as the family members they are representing. In most cases, the feelings they express are validated by the person
whose family is being staged. In many cases, they reveal emotions and beliefs about the relationships between the family members that are surprising and instructive to the person whose family is being staged.

In essence, this is an exercise in exploring the family collective consciousness - through the broader collective consciousness that includes the workshop participants. This enables the unraveling of unhappy and dysfunctional patterns of relationships, and of chronic distress in the protagonists who stage their family constellations in the workshop.

What this work reveals quite simply is that our feelings may not be our own and that we can be entangled in the fate of others, living their lives, instead of being in contact with the essence of our own unique Soul. (p. ii)

What is revealed through this work is that the unresolved feelings in a person's life live on through the family collective consciousness. Often, a person in a later generation picks up these feelings as though they were his or her own feelings. Thus, an unresolved grief may in one generation may be expressed as a chronic depression in a child or grandchild of that person.

The unresolved experiences and feelings may also include relationships such as marriages or liasons that ended poorly, miscarriages, experiences of abuse or wartime trauma, and other unhappiness that was taken to the grave by a family ancestor.

The Soul is compelled to include that which has been excluded in order to bring the family back into balance. Once these imbalances have been healed through constellation work, individuals are free to live their own lives, instead of being led by subconscious impulses. (p. 102)

The person whose constellation is being staged has the opportunity to first witness the emotions of all family members, including those of the group member representing himself or herself; and then the opportunity to take her or his own place in the constellation and interact with the other family member representatives. The therapist guides this person to make deeply healing statements to other family representatives, such as:

Payne to James: Look at your brother and say, "The day you left us was terrible, it's been difficult to let you go." (p. 121)

Payne to Brother: Look at your brother and say, "You have a family, dear brother. This is my fate, and they need you."

Payne to James: Now say to your brother, "I shall leave you with the dead and go to my wife and children." (p. 122)

Wartime experiences may be particularly challenging, because there is not only the personal hurt of the individual ancestor, but the collective hurt and anger of the community or nation of that person.

Victims and perpetrators share a fate with one another and when the victim is denied or excluded in some way, the perpetrator is also excluded - given a status that is less than human - compelling future generations to take on as their own the fate of either the perpetrator of the victim. (p. 3)

Family Constellation work offers healings for societal angers and hatreds that perpetuate inter-group conflicts.

When major acts of terrorism occur, such as the events of September 11th 2001, the individual healing process is challenged and made more difficult by a nation's response towards the perpetrators of such acts. When a national outpouring of emotions such as anger, hatred and revenge occurs, the individuals involved find it more difficult to bring about closure as a cultural imperative arises in which citizens are obligated by the national conscience to harbour specific feelings for the identified enemy. What has been learnt from Family Constellation process is that it is only when the identified perpetrators, or enemies, have been given their proper place, and the overall fate of the individuals involved are accepted and respected, that forgiveness can really take place. When a nation is captivated by media and political rhetoric concerning such events, the survivors who have lost loved ones often take on a sense of guilt when moving though their forgiveness process, for they are trying to move in the opposite direction to the dominant national conscience. This occurs because not only do we belong to our families, but we also belong to national and ethnic groups that from a group conscience. It is often very difficult for individuals to challenge their own national conscience when it is telling them to resist and hate an enemy, when the opposite - acceptance and forgiveness - is in their best interest. Therefore, the healing process in the aftermath of such prominent events can be protracted. At its core, the problem and the solution are identical to that of anyone dealing with the untimely death of an individual, in other words, acceptance of a given fate. (p. 113)

A part of the constellation work may be to add a representative for 'the [specific] enemy' such as the Nazis or other oppressors.

When we hate a group owing to the suffering of those who came before us, we weaken ourselves. In essence, we label and identify our forefathers as victims instead of acknowledging their fortitude. When we truly honour the fate of our parents and previous generations, we gain strength from them. No longer are they the downtrodden; they become elevated to the status of a proud and strong people who endured against all the odds. With the same posture, it is important for black people to honour the burden of guilt carried by the white community, understanding that forces were at play that were greater than the sum of individuals. Resistance to what is (or was) simply creates focus, and that focus in turn creates perpetuation. When we hold focus on a group and its descendants as perpetrators, we ourselves perpetuate our status, or the perpetrators, there need to be victims; this is the greatest dance of fate. So when we truly honour the fate of those who were victims, the power of the perpetrators diminishes, be that real power, or the power we give perpetrators in our consciousness. (125)

Family Constellation work bridges the gap between psychotherapy and shamanism, for in such constellations the dead are given a voice and resolutions can be found. The nature of the Soul is to evolve and grow; it cannot do so when its burdens are shouldered by others, especially if those others are descendants. In such constellations, both our presumptuousness and dare I say, arrogance, are revealed, for we are often caught in the trap of putting ourselves above those who passed life on to us. When we do so, we are not in the place of receiving within the family hierarchy. (p. 111).

What is important is the individuals carry only their own burden of remorse, not that of others. In order for South Africa to be healed, the black population must find a way to embrace the guilt of the white population in their hearts, and white South Africans must learn to take individual responsibility and not to feel responsible for the actions of governments and governmental organizations from the past. When these inner movements are not made, then the cycle of victim and perpetrator simply perpetuates.
(p. 137)

Payne further suggests that this process has the potential to bring healing to all of our ancestors throughout the collective consciousness.

Imagine that your parents are standing behind you, your father behind your right shoulder, your mother behind your left shoulder. Place their parents behind them in similar fashion. Add you great-grandparents behind them, plus another generation and yet another. Keep seeing row upon row of family generations extending out from behind you as if you are the tip of a flat triangle that fans out, back into the mists of time.

Allow this vast crowd to grow and grow, adding generation after generation in your mind's eye until eventually you see the beginning of all life, the source, that original spark. It is still a mystery, buy you may wish to call this God or simply "The Source".

Just sit for a moment and feel the strength of support coming from this vast crowd of ancestors, each one having passed the fit of life on to the following generations. Now imagine that you are turning 180 degrees in order to face your parents. Look over their shoulders at this vast crowd and in your mind's eye scan each of the generations as far back as you can go, allowing yourself to feel their richness of experience. Each generation endured hardships, created triumphs and laid the foundations for future development for the next generation. Embrace the knowledge of how all of these ancestors grew in mind, heart and spirit through the passage of time, each generation having opened doorways to new ways of being, doing and thinking for the next generation. Now look at your parents and realize how all of this evolution, wisdom and learning has been given to you as a gift of life by the two very special people standing in front of you, your parents.

Now bow to your parents and your ancestors, inwardly feeling the gratitude for life... Read more ›