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Healthy Parenting: How Your Upbringing Influences the Way You Raise Your Children, and What You Can Do to Make It Better for Them Paperback – September 1, 1992


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Healthy Parenting: How Your Upbringing Influences the Way You Raise Your Children, and What You Can Do to Make It Better for Them + Lifeskills for Adult Children + Adult Children of Alcoholics
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Product Details

  • Series: Fireside/Parkside Recovery Book
  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Touchstone; First Edition edition (September 1, 1992)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0671739492
  • ISBN-13: 978-0671739492
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.5 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #699,111 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

31 of 35 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on November 30, 1998
Format: Paperback
The thing that I loved the most about this book was the way it clearly defined the fine lines between "Healthy and Unhealthy Parenting".
I learned that many of the ways in which I had been treated as a child were unfair, although I did not know it then.
My mother had no right to throw her adult temper tantrums around me, emotionally pounding me for the choices that she made in her life. At the time, I accepted full blame for her misery, and because of her hot and cold mood swings, learned at an early age what it felt like to be confused and depressed. My sister and I tiptoed around our mother, wondering if she was in a good mood, or in a bad one. If bad, we knew to avoid her and stay out of her way.
We learned early on to live underneath a shroud of denial, about our alcholic father and our verbally abusive grandmother, who we lived with.
Our mother would badmouth them to us, revealing innappropriate secrets so she could let off steam, then expected us to supress our own feelings. We were never allowed to vent or acknowledge that we were unhappy about our invisible father and overbearing grandmother.
My mother enjoyed using subtle psychological abuse. It left no physical scars, but was just as damaging. You were more likely to blame yourself than admit your mother caused your pain. Because my mother was not a big physical abuser, only having spanked us on rare occasions, we thought we had it pretty good, and had no right to complain.
As a young adult in my early twenties I became stepmother to a daughter who was diagnosed as having Attention Deficit Disorder, a difficult behavior problem which requires much tolerance and understanding on the part of the parent.
Needless to say, I had trouble.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Rayman Kilgore on February 9, 2002
Format: Hardcover
This is a great book for people who have grown up in troubled families. It offers great advice and great insights on topics such as setting limits, boundaries, and a host of other parental problems. I use it with all of my clients and in my workshops and parent groups. Nicely written book
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Linda Nieves Rodriguez on August 17, 2000
Format: Paperback
Was helpful in realizng the actions of parents to their children, but I found other books more helpful overall such as, Toxic Parents overcoming their hurtful legacy and reclaiming your life, by Dr. Susan Forward. Not only helping the child, but focusing on the parent and how to correct their own lives.
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By A Customer on October 17, 2003
Format: Paperback
This book is the most helpful parenting book I have ever read! It speaks to the unique issues of ACOAs while being applicable to parenting situations of all sorts. It really gave me a sense of what I have to be responsible for if I want to be a successful parent. The message given by this book is that the time for feeling sorry for oneself and for excuses is over, and that it is time to make things better with one's own children. The practical advice and examples gives the reader something to use to meet this end. I think that this book would be helpful to all parents - not just ACOAs.
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7 of 11 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 28, 2002
Format: Paperback
This book has been helpful for me in turning around a lot of the unhealthy parenting patterns I learned from my dysfunctional parents. But I also was annoyed at times by what seemed to me to be a scolding, moralizing tone. Also, I felt the author should have shown a bit more empathy for her audience (as she does in her other books on alcoholic families). I finished the book with a bubbling rage toward my parents. Why did they get -- and exercise -- the option to fail their kids, while I am stuck having to work extra-hard to parent differently? Why do they get let off the hook so easily, yet I remain accountable? I've been stuck with this anger ever since my 4-year-old daughter was born, and even therapy hasn't thoroughly eliminated it. I do think Woititz owes us -- the true heroes in the struggle to break the chain of abuse -- a bit more validation and empathy than she shared in this book.
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More About the Author

Janet Geringer Woititz, Ed.D., is the founder and President of the Institute for Counseling and Training in West Caldwell, NJ, which specialized in working with dysfunctional families and individuals.

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Healthy Parenting: How Your Upbringing Influences the Way You Raise Your Children, and What You Can Do to Make It Better for Them
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