Customer Reviews

Hearing Is Believing: How Words Can Make or Break Our Kids

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I didn't expect to laugh the whole way through as well as gain insight into new techniques in parenting. Dr. Elisa Medhus shares how words such as "Stop that!" and "I'm so disappointed in you" are just not the right things to say. Instead she teaches many types of word phrasing:

-Objective
-Observational
-"I" Messages
-Questioning

Examples include: "Feet belong on the floor, not on the table." "It's not safe to rollerblade without a helmet."

She also makes me laugh with her candid guinea-pig examples of family scuffles. It provides a lighthearted and tongue-in-cheek backdrop for the true substance and life applications in "Hearing is Believing." What a great book!

What an insightful and helpful guide to parenting. I believe I can do a better job of raising my seven-year-old as a result of reading this book. It made me realize the importance of enabling my child to be more responsible and how that will help him build his self-esteem. Her message was strong and clear that parents need to help children recognize their own self-worth and let that, rather than continual outside validation, determine how they feel about themselves. I feel better prepared to do this after reading this book.

It is well known that the way we raise our children has a huge impact on how they will function as adults. Elisa Medhus allowed me to better understand that. What better gift to give our children than the chance to be highly functioning adults who can actually feel good about themselves? This book will help parents give their children a better shot at a healthy and happy life. The author has a great sense of humor which made the reading all the more enjoyable. I highly recommend this book for all parents.

I've read a lot of books over the years, but this one is truly remarkable and unique. Medhus has a style all her own. Her love for all children, not just her own five, comes through in every paragraph. And from page one, I could tell she's one of us--a mom who's been there in the foxholes struggling to raise her kids in an age when doing so has never been harder. Thank God for the rest of us, she's come up with solutions that can make most of those struggles go away. Her advice is practical and easy to follow, and she presents it in a humorous way that made me laugh from cover to cover. I couldn't put the book down! More important: I've tried her suggestions out, and they really work! Dramatically. My life as a parent has transformed because of it. My three kids are happier and better behaved. Raising them is actually fun--and easy. My relationship with my them (and my husband) is the best it's every been. Plus the whole family seems happier and more peaceful. The real question is: Why hasn't anyone thought of this concept before? Seriously! So, if you want a book that will--almost overnight--change life for the better for you and your kids, read this Hearing is Believing! I'll put good money on a bet that this one will win as many awards as her first book, Raising Children Who Think for Themselves, did.

Mathus has some wonderfully helpful things to say about how to talk to children to foster cooperation rather then defiance, and what she says about raising children to be self sufficient is excelent. However, she gets a little too caught up in her own theorys sometimes to the point that it starts being rediculous, and her ideas about how to handle things like sibling violence you really need to examine for yourself instead of taking them at face value. It may have worked in her family, but there is no way I would let my children get by with some of the things she brushes off as kids being kids.
'Hearing is Believing' is similar enough to 'Raising Children Who Think for Themselves' by Mathus that you really only need to read one, I would suggest this one. Over all it is a very good book, just think critically about some of the advice given.

Medhus has a great message in this book. I was with this book whole heartedly for the first 4 chapters. After awhile there are so many words/phrases that she suggests one shouldn't say that it is overwhelming. I find myself not wanting to saying anything to my daughter for fear it might be one of those many, many, many examples that is ill-advised in the book. I will not give in though but I do wish the message was more simplistic and easier to implement.
We are also struggling right now with what to say to our 15 month old as she is starting to walk, talk and learn many skills - "good job" is now off limits (per the book) - that's difficult.

This book was amazing. It not only explains everything in a simple to understand way, the author gives you ways to easily implement alternative ways of communicating with your kids (and with almost anyone for that matter) immediately. I think EVERYONE should read this book. It is guaranteed to improve your relationships, period.

Words can make or break a child's efforts, and effective communication with kids involves choosing them carefully. Parents interested in better interaction with kids will find Hearing Is Believing deftly blends humor with fun insights as it pinpoints common phrases and words which can inadvertently provide the wrong message. An important set of considerations on underlying teachings.

Elisa has done a great job of providing a highly readable book that all parents should take the time to read. While most of us do not have her self control, each time we heed the advice to use well thoght out and supportive words, the entire family benefits. I hope she coninues to share her wisdom with us.

This is great information, if only our parents had read a book like this. I believe some of the negative things that are said to us by our parents are rerun in our heads until we believe they are true. Just think if all the non-judgmental and postitives were rerun in our heads instead. We would be such a happy and productive world.

(...)

This book is a must read. Although I have read a lot of parenting and child psychology books, I would certainly put more value into this "real life" book. It explains how a lot of things (most of us say to our children) are hurtful through our children's perspective. It gives real life alternatives that are very helpful (although sometimes hard to remember to use in place of old, seemingly innocent phrases). None the less, a very valuable doable approach to helping your children become confident in themselves with a healthy self-esteem. Well worth the money and time.