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The Heart of a Family: Searching America for New Traditions That Fulfill Us
 
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The Heart of a Family: Searching America for New Traditions That Fulfill Us [Hardcover]

Meg Cox (Author)
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)


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Book Description

September 29, 1998
Parents today face an uphill battle: How can they make a haven of home and create treasured traditions when family time is besieged on every side? As a new mother, Meg Cox faced these concerns and began a quest to find new   traditions powerful enough to compete with the distractions and dislocations of contemporary life.  In this warm and wise book, Meg Cox shares what she found on her search and introduces us to the families who taught her. She learned what sorts of rituals help hold families together, from grand holiday bashes to everyday bedtime routines, and why they have such a lasting impact on children, guiding them safely through crucial transitions and reinforcing a sense of identity.
        
Meg Cox interviewed more than two hundred diverse families for this book, and found they are not only celebrating milestones and holidays in distinctive ways but also using ritual effectively in every phase of their lives, from the practical to the whimsical. She tells the story of Suzy Kellett, who raised quadruplets on her own and used rituals to keep the family close. In Merchantsville, N.J., the Lynch family has a "Happiness Party" when everyone is down in the dumps, and Mary Sutton of Wyoming made up a seatbelt-buckling ritual after the family was in a minor car accident. There are rituals here that break up sibling fights, scare away under-the-bed monsters, make an adopted child feel cherished, and celebrate a girl's first period.
        
Cox's reporting brings us new versions of favorite holiday traditions, as well as fresh rituals tailor-made for the demands of contemporary life. She gives valuable advice on creating new traditions from scratch, and also talks candidly about ritual's potential pitfalls, explaining when and how rituals should be changed or dropped.  The "Heart of a Family is a joyous, welcoming, but always realistic book, full of activities and ideas that have been road-tested in the tumult of daily family experience. It will enrich your family life for years to come.


Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

What do people remember about their childhood? What builds a family? What holds families together? Author Meg Cox asserts that the heart of a family is ritual and tradition. Rituals mark the rhythms in our lives, so in a changing society with changing family structures, families need to find or create rituals that have meaning for them. Cox, a reporter and editor for 17 years, quit her job at the Wall Street Journal to research modern rituals and traditions. The result is a well-written, smart, and helpful guide for families seeking to create meaningful traditions of their own. Cox explores alternative versions of old holiday rituals, gives advice on creating new traditions, and discusses ways to improve stale traditions when the heart has gone out of them. She describes daily family rituals (a nightly wind down before bedtime, locking pinkies when promises are made), large-scale family festivities (celebrating "Adoption Day," family reunions, blow-out holiday extravaganzas), and rites of passage (a girl's first period, milestone birthdays), as well as modern takes on the traditions of many religions and cultures. The Heart of a Family is an intelligent book, free from sentimentality and full of intriguing ideas. --Ericka Lutz

From Publishers Weekly

Cox, formerly a reporter with the Wall Street Journal, has spent the last three years interviewing psychologists, educators and more than 200 families, discovering the different kinds of family rituals and the role they play in American family life. The author, who herself spends holidays with a nonnuclear family composed of her husband, their young son and her husband's grown daughter and ex-wife, believes that great changes in the traditional American family make it essential to cultivate rituals that bind people together. Her research reveals an astonishing diversity of family observances from variations of well-known holiday traditions such as Easter egg hunts or Hanukkah gift-giving to imaginative new rituals, all of which reflect a family's particular situationAreligious, cultural, fiscal or otherwise. The Van Norns celebrate a weekly movie night by watching an Academy Award-winning film together while the Uhlers take turns introducing a current events topic every night at the dinner table. In Washington, D.C., a group of mothers and daughters meet monthly to discuss books. What do families get out of rituals? Cox believes children in particular benefit in many ways: comfort, security, happy memories, values and knowledge of their cultural and religious heritage. This rendering is more ecumenical, eclectic and adaptable than many of its ilk. B&w illustrations throughout. Author tour.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 384 pages
  • Publisher: Random House; 1 edition (September 29, 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0679448632
  • ISBN-13: 978-0679448631
  • Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.1 x 1.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #350,563 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Since I left the Wall Street Journal in 1994, I've been free to write about my passions. Those include quilting and family traditions. I wanted to write a book about 21st century quilting because it's so sophisticated, high-tech and exciting, but most people don't know that. I love to show them what they're missing, like treated cotton sheets that allow you to print photographs on your own home computer printer. Though my book is a resource guide, people tell me constantly that they read it like a novel: it is full of stories, not just projects. Visit my website for more, www.megcox.com, and look for my gossip column, Megabites, in Quilter's Home magazine.

 

Customer Reviews

7 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
5.0 out of 5 stars (7 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Very inspiring ideas to help shape the identity of a family., March 16, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: The Heart of a Family: Searching America for New Traditions That Fulfill Us (Hardcover)
Meg Cox's Book, "The Heart of a Family," is among my all-time favorites in my collection of family life books. Many of our family's traditions are accounted in "The Heart of a Family" but in reading it I discovered the power and significance of keeping traditions all over again. I couldn't put it down.

I appreciated the diversity represented as traditions are never "one size fits all." Meg's approach is merely to paint a picture of what other families are doing, not to promote specific ways of doing things and that is very effective. I enjoyed the mix of special occasion and holiday traditions as well as day-to-day rituals and also was inspired to try some new ideas with our family of four teens.

I wish this book had been available when our children were young as many of the ideas of the other families seem so meaningful as well as a lot of fun. It is hard to start TOO many new ways of doing thing with teenagers! I highly recommend it to all families, especially those with young children as a powerful tool to help shape the identity of a family. L'Tishia Suk

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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Affecting, involving, inspiring, February 22, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: The Heart of a Family: Searching America for New Traditions That Fulfill Us (Hardcover)
God But I Loved This Book! I have no idea why it affected me so powerfully but I was nearly in tears in the first thirty pages. Maybe the book tapped into my deepest memories of rituals from my childhood. Maybe it was a lack of rituals I was lamenting. Perhaps it's the new rituals my wife and I are creating in our new home and in our new marriage. Regardless, I found myself reliving moments from my past and I was very moved. There were so many beautiful stories and thoughtful ideas in the book. I wanted to meet many of the people who contributed their rituals. The way the author weaves herself and her own story into the book made it so much more accessible than it would have been otherwise. It gave the book a soft but strong spine. Well-written, well-designed, and rich with practical ideas, this book can help any family to deepen the bonds between its members and infuse the mundane events of everyday life with special, long-lasting meaning.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars HEALING A BROKEN HOME, November 28, 2000
By 
Karen Zollinger Taylor (Salt Lake City, Utah USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Heart of a Family: Searching America for New Traditions That Fulfill Us (Hardcover)
When I divorced my husband, I was looking for ways to heal my family and to provide additional support for the challenges children of divorce face. This is a wonderful book and has ideas for every type of family. The ideas cover every day activities as well as holidays, and includes great ideas for extraordinary days to be recognized as children grow up and face their own trials. The "how to" do your own traditions is effective and powerful. I have been divorced two years now and feel happy and confident that my family will be okay. The rituals and traditions we are building have healed and strengthened our bonds as a family. By the way, during the divorce I went to a child psychologist for advice on my children's welfare. All of her suggestions sounded so familiar, I asked if she had read this book. She had and uses it as a key reference for counselling families.
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