The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction: A Comprehensive Counseling Resource [Paperback]

Janelle Hallman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 17, 2008

The fruit of years of training, research and counseling experience, Janelle Hallman has drawn together a comprehensive resource for those who are interested in understanding and counseling women in conflict with same sex attraction. In this ground-breaking work, Hallman sets forth the unique dimensions of struggle that women experience through the presentation of research, interviews and clinical experience. This is an indispensable guide for understanding and a manual for counseling adult women seeking to "mature in giving and receiving love in all of [their] relationships, and no longer be restricted by destructive relational patterns."

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Janelle Hallman is uniquely qualified to write this book; she is gifted with empathy and high attunement to her same-sex attracted clients. Our profession has long been silent about how to proceed with clients who do not accept lesbianism as who they really are. This new work is therefore must-reading for therapists who truly respect client autonomy and diversity." (Joseph Nicolosi, Ph.D., director, Thomas Aquinas Psychological Clinic )

"Profound and practical. The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction is an essential tool for any Christian therapist who wants to serve women with same-sex attraction truthfully. The book bears the mark of one who has entered into the heart of the matter through years of thoughtful, loving service. Janelle has gentle authority to guide us as we help women to exercise the dignity of their choice." (Andy Comiskey )

"Much has been written about male homosexuality, very little about female homosexuality. Janelle Hallman has been a pioneer in this underexplored field. Her wisdom and keen insight flow from an obvious and deep love for the women she has had the honor of serving over many years. The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction will help all who read it to understand and love the precious women who experience same-sex attraction. I highly recommend it." (Christopher West, MTS, LHD Fellow, Theology of the Body Institute )

"It is rare to find such a valuable resource as Janelle's The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction. Prayerfully written and yet professionally thorough, Janelle demonstrates a special ability to address these complex matters in an accessible manner. Powerful narratives are deftly woven through comprehensive research and years of practical experience for maximum connection and impact. Therapists, pastoral counselors, mentors, mothers, and, most significantly, women wrestling with sexual identity and emotionally dependent patterns will find a gold mine in this book. It sets a new standard in this area of therapy and ministry." (Wendy Gritter, national executive director, New Direction Ministries )

"I love books which combine the insights of professional training with the hard-earned lessons of personal experience. You are holding such a book. Over the years, Janelle Hallman has earned widespread respect among her colleagues for her effective ministry to women seeking Christ's freedom in the midst of their lesbian struggles. This book will be a helpful resource for all who seek deeper effectiveness in this area of ministry." (Bob Davies, Director Emeritus, Exodus International )

"What an incredibly valuable resource for professionals and nonprofessionals--and so engaging! Both the woman who is in conflict or confusion about her sexuality and the professional working with her will find an accepting spirit that dismantles shame and will discover hope that empowers healing. Janelle writes with comprehensive understanding, realistic expectations, professional competence, respectful compassion and unconditional love--all based on biblical principles. The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction is certain to help women move from conflictual entrapment to true freedom." (Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner, sex therapists, educators, and authors of The Gift of Sex and The Way to Love Your Wife )

From the Author

Why did you decide to write The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction?

Janelle Hallman: I had been involved with Exodus ministries for several years prior to starting seminary to work on my master's in counseling. In the late eighties and early nineties I had devoured just about every book out there on homosexuality or God's perspective on gender. Almost everything I could find was for and about men. I could see that much of the material didn't apply to women. Neither was there a clinical book that was understandable for the average counselor who hadn't been trained in psychoanalytic literature. I knew that when I started my counseling practice, I would basically have to "wing it" or learn as I went. There simply was no published framework from which to practice. Even back then I thought that it might be a possibility that I would be the one to write a book. I knew I loved research and certainly teaching and was therefore able to condense complicated material and organize it in a way that people could understand. But I set this thought aside so that I could focus on simply learning how to counsel women with same-sex attraction. However, about five years into my practice, I began to get involved with NARTH. I was anxious to learn from the experts about female homosexuality. Much to my chagrin, the conference and printed material sponsored by NARTH were, again, primarily about men and for men. I suspected then that I was going to have to seriously consider at least organizing an effort to publish material for and about the women.

After contacting all of the other female therapists and a few male therapists specializing in this field, it was determined that no one else wanted to undertake the ultimate task of developing a manuscript, but many said they would support my efforts. So six years ago, I began the process by interviewing over fifty women and their mothers and all of these somewhat seasoned professionals. I then started mapping out an outline for the book.

The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction is especially important not only because nothing else exists for clinicians or for pastoral counselors in helping women with SSA, but also because these women are not the easiest clients with whom to work. Many have therefore been wounded and retraumatized by their insensitive counselors and pastors. I have a great passion to protect these women by educating their helpers. Hopefully, the misunderstandings and presumptions on the part of the therapists will begin to be eliminated due to this publication.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 312 pages
• Publisher: IVP Books (March 17, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 083083429X
• ISBN-13: 978-0830834297
• Product Dimensions: 6.2 x 0.9 x 8.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #140,252 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #94 in Books > Gay & Lesbian > History

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

32 of 41 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully compiled, researched, & insightfully written book! March 26, 2008

By Rose Therese

Format:Paperback

I just received my copy of this beautifully written account of a therapist who speaks candidly about the women whom she counsels with same sex attraction as a part of their lives. All I can say is "WOW"! I am so pleased with her knowledge of this issue and that she speaks from her heart and experience. This is an extremely valuable literary work for anyone dealing with female same sex attraction in their own life or in the lives of people who they come in contact with. You will be very enlightened and given great wisdom from reading this book. It covers the many aspects of female SSA with love and a therapeutic perspective.

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars An outstanding, compassionate must-have! November 5, 2012

By ckdub

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I cannot say enough positive things about this book. I have been incredibly impressed with the compassion, understanding, and expertise of the author. With such an emotionally and politically charged topic like Same-Sex Attraction (SSA), there is always a concern that a writer will be biased, polarizing, and ill-informed. Ms. Hallman is none of those things. She truly understands the complex nature of this issue and the myriad of difficult emotions and thoughts that can come with it. She also understands the current challenging debate in the public square concerning SSA and treatment models, and she addresses the issue with a wonderful combination of care and authority. She is brilliantly balanced and fair, while having a rooted Judeo-Christian point of view.

She writes as a woman who has years of experience coming alongside of her clients, lovingly walking with them and counseling them, according to their goals, to be the person THEY have always wanted to be. She addresses the ethical implications of working with clients struggling with SSA, and expertly explains the role of the therapist in this process. I think many therapists today are nervous about how to navigate this issue and their role, and Ms. Hallman addresses myths and misconceptions about ethical obligations and professional guidelines. Her multitude of footnotes and research-based references are outstanding and extremely helpful. They also reveal a writer who has done her homework...

In addition, Ms. Hallman does a marvelous job describing in detail the process she goes through when working with a client. It is extremely practical, helpful, and based on not only her years of experience, but a focus on evidence-based practice. I would not necessarily recommend this book for someone struggling with SSA, but excerpts may be taken from it and used as psychoeducation. It is definitely written more for the professional. All in all, I would recommend this book without question, and am very grateful to Ms. Hallman for writing such a thoughtful, timely, brilliant book.

27 of 39 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars An excellent resource for the counselor or recovery facilitator August 6, 2008

By Debbie Thurman

Format:Paperback

I made a brief mention of this book in a review I recently wrote of Anne Paulk's book, "Restoring Sexual Identity." I promised to read this book and comment on it. I have read it and I rate it a valuable resource, full of insight and the author's considerable experience in counseling women struggling with same-sex attraction.

The case studies Hallman cites are very helpful and compelling. She goes farther and gives some very helpful exercises that I have not seen anywhere else. Counselors have needed a resource like this for some time. There are too few who know how to deal with female SSA issues. The vast majority of resources are directed toward male homosexuality issues.

I will be recommending this book to all the women counselors I know, as well as to the president of the American Association of Christian Counselors. It also will be an indispensable tool for those like me who have overcome SSA and wish to help others who are struggling through small recovery group work.

My one concern is with Hallman's decision to continue to work with women who wish to have their same-sex attraction affirmed. While these women are deserving of counsel for other issues, I am not sure Hallman does not send the wrong signal about the destructiveness of their choices. No one can be forced to change, and I agree that all women must be treated with dignity, regardless of their sin struggles. But we are already bombarded with too many mixed messages from the media, gay activists and their medical establishment minions to not be very clear about the consequences of sinful and unhealthy behaviors. It's one thing to judge; it's another to provide wise and truthful counsel that is nourishing to one's soul. The door must be left open, but if someone shuts down the process of repentance and healing, the Christian counselor is left with few options in moving forward. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend." I'm glad my counselor made that quite clear to me years ago.