David and Deborah Tainsh were living the happiest years of their lives until the dark morning of February 12, 2004, when a six a.m. knock at the door brought the news that their son, Sergeant Patrick Tainsh, had been killed in Iraq. Patrick, David’s only child, was the pride of his life. He was the son who overcame a rebellious, drug-addicted youth to become an outstanding U.S. Army Cavalry Scout, posthumously awarded the Bronze and Silver Stars for saving the lives of his commanding officer and other soldiers before succumbing to his own wounds. In the wake of their loss, David and Deborah battle horrific grief and anger while trying to hold their marriage—and one another—together in an unforgettable journey toward healing.
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Deborah Tainsh’s step-son, U. S. Army Sgt. Patrick Tainsh, was killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq on February 11, 2004. Writing initially to sort out her own grief, Deborah captured the raw and tender moments of her family’s sorrow and remembrance. Her book Heart of a Hawk: One family’s sacrifice and journey toward healing brings readers into the Tainsh family’s living room as Deborah and her husband, retired USMC Sergeant Major David L. Tainsh, hear the tragic news of their son’s death and begin their struggle toward acceptance and peace. A portion of the proceeds from Heart of a Hawk is donated to the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, a nonprofit organization that provides grief support to the families of fallen military personnel. As a TAPS mentor, Deborah talks with military families across the nation, sharing her family's continuing journey of grief, love, and hope while celebrating a son's courageous life with the message that "our children expect no less courage and giving from us than what they showed the world." Heart of a Hawk received the Spirit of Freedom Award from Military Writers Society of America. Deborah’s poems are included in the National Endowment for the Arts archives of Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
"I wonder if Patrick would like to go to Disney World when he gets home?" Deborah was looking through a travel book at the various resorts close to the Disney theme parks in Orlando. "I think it’d be a lot of fun to take a family trip."
"He said he wanted to go to any resort we could find," Dave said. He was pushing back in his recliner to watch the O’Reilly Factor when the phone rang.
"Looks like Patrick," he said when he saw the caller ID.
Dave heard his son’s cheery voice. "Hey Dad, I’m countin’ the days! We’re on the backside, now. Word is we’ll be headed for Kuwait by mid-March and home by April."
"Well it’s only the 10th of February. Just stay focused until you’re out of there. Don’t lose your edge. It ain’t over until you hit the USA."
"I know, Dad. Don’t worry."
"We’re going to Disney World when you get home," Deborah said, holding the extension.
"Sounds like a winner to me. I’m ready to be anywhere but here for a while."
"Just hang in there, bud," Dave repeated. "Just keep your head on straight. And don’t forget how much we love you."
"Me, too, Dad. I gotta go. Tell everybody I love and miss ‘em. I’ll call you later."
Dave placed the phone back in its cradle, as Deborah wrote 'Pat called' on the calendar, never thinking it would be the last time they’d ever speak to their son.
...
Deborah knew from experience with Dave that battle-worn soldiers didn’t like being asked about their wartime experiences. But Dave and she both needed to know exactly what had happened the night Patrick was killed. One death certificate had said throat wound,another said gunshot. With as much nerve as she could muster, searching for the appropriate way, Deborah finally said to Rob, "I know I probably shouldn’t ask you this. I know certain things are not good to talk about, but if you’ll forgive me, we’d like to know if you could tell us what happened that night."
Dave’s face grew somber. He supported the question to his son’s first sergeant. Rob looked at both of them with gentle somberness in his rugged, tanned face.
"Sergeant Major," he said, "first I want you to know that Patrick’s greatest wish was to make you proud. He was always saying, ‘I’ve got to make my dad proud.’ When he was asked one time about going to school to become a warrant officer, he said, ‘No thanks, my dad retired a sergeant major, and that’s what I’m gonna do.’ You were the most important person to him. And believe me, he was an outstanding soldier. He was like a magnet. Other troops came to him for advice and friendship. He was the superior example of a soldier and leader. His reputation always preceded him. He was a commanding officer’s dream."
Dave and Deborah sat quietly, holding back tears, ready to hear the painful words that would become Patrick’s legacy.
"I can tell you exactly what happened that night. I was there with him."
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Very moving,
By Mew (VA) - See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Heart of a Hawk: One family's sacrifice & journey toward healing (Paperback)
Heart of a Hawk is a great read, very moving. There is some food for thought in this book. It is indeed about a journey for one brave American family, their challenges and struggle to get through the most trying and difficult times that life has brought them. I cried as the words conveyed the pain, frustration, and confusion over the loss of their son and his seemingly untimely death. I appreciated the subject matter on how spirituality can and does play a role and what happens when beliefs are not shared or honored. The book has a roller coaster of emotion covering all aspects of a family suffering, everything from step-relations, religion, marital issues, military life, human bonding and connection. I felt by the time I was done reading it I knew Patrick and somehow I miss him even though I never met him. He is a lost soul that found his way and in the end did some amazing things that can make all who love him very proud. He did not die in vain. It took courage for Ms. Tainsh to write this book about her personal feelings revolving around her family to make her life truly an open book. My heart goes out to the Tainsh family as well as to Kacee.
From a technical side I did not like the 3rd person writing style, I question the editor, where were you? It's a great story but the format could have been done differently in a far more powerful way. I had issues w/some of the redundancy, but then I realized these thoughts are indeed repeated thoughts that one experiences during the grieving process. It is like I was able to get inside the author's head, it got to me, knowing and feeling what was so real for her. On a humorous note, they are a family that loves their coffee! I appreciate Mrs. Tainsh sharing her story and her son's service to our country. I found it very meaningful and it helped me to understand what some of my friends go through that have lost a loved one in Iraq.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A MUST READ,
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Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Heart of a Hawk: One family's sacrifice & journey toward healing (Paperback)
I bought this book for my husband. He said it is the best book he ever read.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Incredible Journey,
By Lillian Cauldwell "Lillian Cauldwell" (Ann Arbor, MI USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Heart of a Hawk: One family's sacrifice & journey toward healing (Paperback)
An incredible journey of a family's struggle in grief, despair, and life. Not much is ever written of those left behind when their son or daughter dies in combat. "In Heart of a Hawk," Ms. Tainsh shares her journey with the rest of the world. I, for one, am grateful and touched that she has the strength and ability to put into words what many "surviving" parents and
families can not. I give Heart of a Hawk five silver stars.
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