The Heart of Parenting: Raising an Emotionally Inteligent Child [Abridged, Audiobook] [Audio Cassette]

John Gottman Ph.D. (Author, Reader), Joan DeClair (Reader)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 15, 1997

Based on twenty years of research at the University of Washington studying parent-child interactions, award-winning research psychologist John Gottman and his team have developed Emotion Coaching -- a technique that parents can use to teach their children self-awareness and self-control, and to foster good emotional development. This proven technique has demonstrated a positive effect on children's physical health, academic achievement and emotional well-being. Among the issues this program explores:

* Emotion Coaching: the key to raising emotionally intelligent kids
* How to assess your parenting style
* Key steps and strategies for Emotion Coaching
* The effects of marriage and divorce on your child's emotional health
* The crucial role of fathers in families

Dr. Gottman's research has shown that children who learn to master their emotions have more self-confidence, do better in school, and have a better chance of living happy, emotionally healthy lives. Filled with practical and common-sense advice on how to become an Emotion Coaching parent, this is a how-to guide for parents interested in helping their children grow into "emotionally intelligent" people.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Gottman, a University of Washington psychology professor and author of Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, has studied family dynamics for more than 20 years. His observations lead him to divide parents into two categories: those who do and those who don't use the technique he calls "emotion coaching." With writer DeClaire, he begins by noting the obvious: good parenting involves emotion as well as intellect; parenting style has lifelong consequences. Giving credit to the work of late psychologist Haim Ginott and getting a nod from Emotional Intelligence author Daniel Goleman (who provides an intro), Gottman defines the five steps of "emotion coaching": being aware of the child's emotions; recognizing the presence of emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching; listening empathically and validating the child's feelings; helping the child to verbally label emotions; setting limits and problem-solving. He says that his studies demonstrate that children who are "emotion-coached" learn better, get along well with others and are physically healthier and socially better adapted than children who have not had such "coaching."Questionnaires with which parents can determine their style and measure their emotional awareness are included, as is a bibliography. For parents to whom emotional nurturing doesn't come easily, Gottman's approach offers reasons and methods for attending to one's child's emotional growth.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

We can raise our children so they're able to handle what life throws their way, argues research psychologist Gottman (Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, S. & S., 1994), and here he presents his five-step program of "emotion coaching." The program results from his studies ten years ago of 56 couples, which focused on how they dealt with their children's feelings about problems, losses, and heartaches and how the children fared as measured not psychologically but physiologically. Later, the couples (if they were still together), the children, and their teachers were revisited to determine the results. This complements the numerous good books on child rearing by focusing on the emotions, which until now have been given little attention. Highly recommended as readable and helpful.?John Moryl, Yeshiva Univ. Lib., New York
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Audio Cassette
• Publisher: Macmillan Audio; Abridged edition (February 15, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1559274352
• ISBN-13: 978-1559274357
• Product Dimensions: 7 x 4.7 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,564,764 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #33 in Books > Books on Cassette > Parenting & Families > General
  • #37 in Books > Books on Cassette > Parenting & Families > Parenting
  • #63 in Books > Books on Cassette > Parenting & Families > Family Relationships

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

47 of 47 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Marvellous!, March 22, 1998

By 

Trudi M. Rosenblum "trudirose" (Brooklyn, NY USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Heart of Parenting: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child (Hardcover)

"Emotional Intelligence" has recently been recognized as an important life skill. A combination of important traits (including self-discipline, ability to handle anger appropriately, self-esteem, empathy, and social skills), emotional intelligence allows one to handle life's frustrations and to "work and play well with others." These skills have been shown as more important than I.Q. as predictors of success in one's personal relationships and career. This wonderful book teaches parents how to raise their children to have emotional intelligence. The book sees children's problems and frustrations as opportunities for "emotion coaching" - helping them learn how to deal with their emotions. The book also identifies four "parenting styles" - two of these styles react negatively to chldren's negative emotions, one style accepts them but doesn't help the child deal with them, and the "Emotion Coaching" style accepts the emotions and teaches the child what to do with them. I wish my parents had had this book - I was a "difficult" child, prone to tantrums, etc., but much of my difficulty came from feeling frustrated and not knowing what to do about it. My parents were loving, but didn't really know how to handle the problem. This book will create greater understanding between parent and child, and will help the child grow up to be an emotionally healthy adult.

28 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars One of hte best parenting books!, July 12, 2002

By 

Andreas Fellner "afellner" (München) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Heart of Parenting: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child (Hardcover)

You can find a lot of books about parenting, but many of them are just pop psychology, the solitary opinion of the author.
Gottman is definitely not one of them. He is known as one of the leading psychologists in the area of family and marriage psychology. This book presents the essence of his research findings about raising emotionally intelligent children.
His advise is surprisingly easy and is based on a 5 step model:
1. Be aware of your child's emotion
2. See your child's emotions as an opportunity to be close together
3. Actively listen to your child and validate the feelings
4. Help your child to verbalize his feelings
5. Help your child solve problems, while setting clear limits

Gottman clearly explains how you can implement this 5-step-model in daily life and what to do when problems arise. His real life examples make reading really fun.
All in all, an excellent parenting book! As a supplement, I can also recommend the book by M. Seligman: "The optimistic child"

12 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A fantastic audio book every parent should have!, January 22, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: The Heart of Parenting: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child (Hardcover)

This audio book has opened my eyes to what children are really thinking and how to deal with them. I have tried the recommended ideas with my own daughter and it has worked wonders. It can be difficult at first, but with patience, these ideas will create a bond between you and your child that you may not have known could exist.