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My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes! Paperback – April 9, 2010


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 140 pages
  • Publisher: Raw Dog Screaming Press (April 9, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1933293934
  • ISBN-13: 978-1933293936
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,716,664 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

The book's strength lies in the way irreverent images are juxtaposed, repeatedly, often rhythmically, creating a sensation that has no use for the traditional confines of literature." --Outsider Writers Collective

Throughout, Sands displays an adept knack for twisting familiar words and phrases into new forms, altering their meaning while poking fun at the overused, the clichéd. --decomP

From the Inside Flap

"There's a place past all reason, most possibility, and all the jokes I can think of. A place shaped kind of like the human heart. Bradley Sands doesn't write about this place, but he writes from it, pushing farther into the unguessable with each word, each scene." - Stephen Graham Jones, author of Demon Theory & It Came From Del Rio 

"There is a disorienting alchemy at work in Bradley Sands' fiction. Here phantasmagoria shifts into stand-up and the avant-garde saddles up besides the geek. Imagine: a hyper-palimpsest beneath which burbles a heady brew of surrealism, poetry, memoir, and horror all set to a DaDa soundtrack that sounds surprisingly like the End of the World." - Rayo Casablanca, author of 6 Sick Hipsters & Very Mercenary

"Reading this collection is like ingesting a bag of fun-colored candy, removing your stomach, and then taking it to a party for use as a pinata. Some readers will love these stories, some readers will hate them but, displayed throughout, is a true love of language and a generous dose of creativity." - Andersen Prunty, author of The Beard

More About the Author

Bradley Sands is an author of bizarro fiction. He wrote TV Snorted My Brain, Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel, Rico Slade Will F*cking Kill You, Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy, and other books.

Visit him at www.bradleysands.com

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
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It can also be very funny and crass in the most unexpected ways.
Matthew Revert
I'm also certain, that he knows that if I recommend this book to ten people, inevitably two are going to be pissed at the suggestion after reading it.
Eric Mays
That the story is pinned up on a big, white wall I simply watch as it morphs and unfolds in new and exciting patterns.
Eric Robinson

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Jason L. Jordan on April 14, 2010
Format: Paperback
Known for his novel "It Came from Below the Belt" (Afterbirth Books, 2006) and his publication Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens, Bizarro author Bradley Sands is now offering "My Heart Said No, but the Camera Crew Said Yes!" (Raw Dog Screaming Press, 2010), a collection that is wholeheartedly rooted in Sands's chosen aesthetic. Then again, perhaps Sands's aesthetic chose him. In either case, cast aside predictability, because these stories are anything but commonplace.

The good: Throughout, Sands displays an adept knack for twisting familiar words and phrases into new forms, altering their meaning while poking fun at the overused, the clichéd. In example, from page 52: "The plant tears off its disguise, roars, and gives Crispin a 30 Seconal head start...and asks Crispin why he's not fleeing from its terrifying presence. Crispin explains that his cooperation in a chase sequence isn't free. It costs $3.95 for the first minute and $1.25 for each additional minute."

Often, he'll deliver a ludicrous, hilarious development out of the blue: "Since birth, an eerie mariachi band had followed Lemony Fresh around, hellbent on providing atmospheric music to accompany his rollicking adventures" (72). And there's something to be said, again, about how unpredictable these stories are. There's something new around every turn, and the unknown is part of the fun.

The bad: Because so much changes from start to finish, in most of these stories, the tension suffers. It's also difficult to keep in mind what the protagonist is trying to achieve due to such rampant transformation--especially in longer stories like "Terror in the Haunted House" and "The Anals of Piracy," both of which overstay their welcome.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Matthew Revert on October 13, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Bradley Sands is unlike most authors you've probably read. It's not really suitable to label his work "Bizarro" or "Absurd", even though it certainly is Bizarre and absurd. His work is more like a very carefully crafted patchwork quilt of sheer oddity and confusion. His stories are a leaning tower of mind-melting scenarios that bleed into each other, forming a thread by virtue of their placement. Saying this may give you the impression that Sands is a chaotic randomist, however, this isn't true either. Reading the stories in `My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said YES!" reveals the care and craftsmanship involved.

Consider the following passage from the story, `Terror in the Haunted House':

"An Eiffel Tower struts down the hallway in a sexy maid's uniform, blitzkrieging the high ceiling with its feather boa duster. The canvas of Lord Remarkably Stiff For His Age bubbles over its frame like a pan of stovetop popcorn. Then the painting extracts itself from the wall, uncovering a crevice and the backside of the painting's true ally against gravity. Super Noxious Air Man and his sidekick, Kid Centrifugal Force, fight to make the world safe for Dermatology - one incurable skin condition at a time - and the face of the brittle portrait putrefies."

In isolation, it's almost like an ultra dense piece of nano fiction. Now, pile these pieces of nano fiction together, following something akin to narrative in the process, and you have a Bradley Sands story. Depending on the sort of person you are, this either a great thing or a terrible thing. I fall firmly in the `great' camp. I love how well-crafted this insanity is, and the imagery these stories provoke is quite unique.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Adam Breckenridge on October 14, 2010
Format: Paperback
Do you like romance? Passion? Melodrama? Are you the kind of person who likes to weep at an Oxygen movie of the week while eating low-fat ice cream straight from the carton? Do you love to curl up with a scented candle and a glass of wine and lose yourself in a passionate romance of unrequited love?

Then what the hell are you doing here?

Bradley Sands is, admittedly, the kind of writer who devours romance novels, but by devour I mean he actually puts them in a blender along with some doll heads, fresh lichen and the tears of children's nightmares and drinks them at midnight at the crossroads of route 666 by the light of a gibbous moon. The closest he's ever come to a scented candle is when he's chasing his own demons through the mall and throws them through the storefront at Bath & Body Works. He then proceeds to punch the secrets of their childhood anxieties out of them so he can record them in a book like My Heart Said No, but the Camera Crew Said Yes.

If Bradley Sands ever met Danielle Steele the matter/anti-matter explosion would wipe out everything from here to Moonsylvania (and if you want to know where that is, try reading the book).

But I've mostly spoken of what this book is not, so what exactly is the "is" of this book? Well, it's a lot of the the things romance is not, it's weird, it's unpredictable and stitched together from all the spare parts he could carry home with him from a night of galavanting about in the subconsciouses of the comically insane. Where most fiction neatly sticks tab A into slot B, Sands has a peculiar way of shoving tab A into slot Omicron and making you realize just how well they go together.
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