Customer Reviews

The Heart Too Long Suppressed: A Chronicle of Mental Illness

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Actress/author/professor Carol Hebald's THE HEART TOO LONG SUPPRESSED is an enthralling memoir of mental illness - her own - written with understanding, breathtaking revelations and, yes, tremendous wit. The reader is led behind the scrim that would seem to separate the rest of us from this disease and our only partially realized, rarely totally sane, selves.

By the time Hebald reaches middle age, she discovers that the parent-guide whom she always sought through much emotional turmoil in truth existed and exists within herself and in God. The reader cannot help but see a parallel life path in every person on earth.

Beautifully written with compelling can't-put-down force and much spit-fire repartee, this is a must read. I do hope someone is wise enough to transfer Hebald's masterful work into film.

Intimate in its personal revelations, yet universal in scope, The Heart Too Long Suppressed is a powerful and gripping account of one woman's courageous struggle to come to terms with a difficult past. Toward the end of the book, Hebald speaks briefly about "pain as nourishment" for the artist. Herein lies her strength: She transforms tragedy into lyrical art. I was struck throughout by her dazzling shifts of tone. Her ability to balance between acute perception and precarious illness is nothing short of amazing. This book is a major accomplishment. I recommend it enthusiastically and without reservation.

I found this book incredibly insightful and admire the courage it took for Carol Hebald to open up her life and let us in. Her story is probably one of thousands if not millions who have been misdiagnosed by the mental health profession. By the end of the book it seemed perfectly clear to me that if Carol had not taken control of her own life and had not thrown the toxic pharmaceutical cocktails overboard once and for all, she would have been a lifelong victim of psychiatry. Carol's book can help countless people realize the label they have been given by the psychiatrist is just that, a label, with no actual meaning or strength to it, except that which the individual or society grants to it. I applaud her for writing a book that can and will change people's life for the better!

Dave Statter
Executive Producer of the film Prescription:suicide?

Carol Hebald's story of overcoming the assumed difficulties that she would have in life is an inspiration; not only to those who have dealt with mental illness, but also to those who have had real and/or perceived constraints put upon them by various medical facilities/personal. I enjoyed reading Carol's memoires and sharing in the tales that brought her to where she is now.

Anyone who is fortunate enough to have encountered Carol Hebald's poetry knows the wonder of being exposed to an extraordinary talent, one which some of today's most successful authors and novelists envy.

Now we know at what cost to her this skill was engendered.

I would like to see an annotated volume, in which her poetry can be read in the context of the story that unfolds in "The Heart Too Long Suppressed".

Hebald's memoir soars above others on the same subject--mental illness. She is honest, very funny and, sometimes, brutal as she recounts the life that led her to her psychiatric diagnosis, and what she did next is no short of revolutionary. I am a twenty year veteran psychotherapist and social worker, and I think this is a must read for everyone in the field and everyone considering the field. Her writing, like the poet she is, is carefully wrought to carry us along with her on this perilous journey. I can't recommend this book highly enough. This woman is the very definition of brave.

For anyone who doesn't believe that it's possible for a person to overcome severe emotional problems - ones that get labeled with words like "schizophrenia" or "schizoaffective disorder" - and get off all associated psychiatric medication, this book is for you.

Carol Hebald grew up in a childhood of hell: sexual abuse, emotional torture, physical violence, neglect, and abandonment, repeated and re-repeated for years. Her adulthood - into her 30s and mid-40s - became a replication of this, with the added horror of her entering the mental health system and getting treated to the triple-play of twisted (and often perverse) psychiatrists, mental hospitals, and anti-psychotic medications (and shock therapy too).

Yet somehow, through it all, with almost no allies (except perhaps her own beauty, which actually seems to work mostly against her, as it induces come-ons from men and jealousy from her mother), she perseveres. She achieves success as a Broadway actress and she becomes a talented writer and college professor - all under the weight of a thousand pounds of emotional torment and the often enervating effects of her medication.

I've read many "mental illness" recovery tales, and what struck me as particularly special about this one was Hebald's honesty and forthrightness, primarily about her abuse history. For this I give her the highest praises. This material - the material that laid the foundation for her multiple breakdowns and suicide attempts - is blunt, ugly, and painful, and yet she doesn't shy away from it. It gives the book a strong root in reality. So many similar books I've read gloss over the horrors of childhood trauma, mostly, I suspect, because their authors are still psychologically blocking them out (or just remain in too much pain or shame, or retain the desire to protect their abusive families). You never really understand why they had so many problems, and those big gaps weaken the book. Not here.

Carol Hebald tells it like it is.

Carol Hebald's brave and honest memoir is one of the best memoirs I have read. Her words affected me deeply on many levels, and her struggle and triumph both are a testimonial to what it means to be human. Her voice, powerful and compelling, must be heard. Her insistence on living her life honestly and with dignity, her will, and her courage are inspiring for any reader. I read the memoir in one sitting, unable to put it down, and I will recommend it to my students, to my friends, and to anyone who will listen as a work which must be read. I have also read Ms. Hebald's collection of poetry "Spinster by the Sea" which is also a testament not only to what she has to say but also to the skill and beauty with which she says it.

I first met Carol when she gave a reading from The Heart Too Long Suppressed at our hospital, at which time I purchased her book. As a mental health professional I was especially interested in learning from a patient's perspective. I was not disappointed. In her story, Carol reaches into the depth of her being to give us an honest account of her memories and experiences. In so doing, she has given us the opportunity to follow her journey through the mental health system. It leaves us wondering, who really advocated for her? And in the end we find out, it is she. In my opinion this book should be required reading for anyone training to be a Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Counselor, Social Worker or Mental Health Nurse.
Diane Boaz, R.N., Psychiatric Home Health Nurse, Allen Hospital, Waterloo, Iowa

As a child, Ms. Hebald had no allies once her father died, but even he, on his deathbed, "abused" her when she was five. Others from her mom to her baby-sitter to her lovers to her doctors made her feel that life is miserable. For instance, as a teen a psychiatrist acclaimed she was a sure shot suicide. A series of hospitals and a bunch of losers with psychiatrist degree provided Ms. Hebald little solace, plenty of unhelpful advice and turned her stomach into a chemical processing plant. Finally at forty-four, she decided it was time to recycle her life starting with dumping her drug paraphernalia into the ocean.

Readers should understand this is not an easy memoir to follow as Carol Hebald goes deep inside her brain to her soul to explain four decades of mental illness highlighted by several suicide attempts. The author is all over the place with the influences in her life turning her autobio somewhat into a NYC rush hour train. Though it is difficult to follow her narrative, the audience will find it worth the time for anyone dealing with mental illness or a family member because overall this is a powerful condemnation warning for the buyer to beware.

Harriet Klausner