Customer Reviews

Hearts and Minds: How Our Brains Are Hardwired for Relationships

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"If flirting were a car, the man has his hands on the steering wheel. The woman has her feet on the accelerator and brake pedals. He decides where they are going. She decides how fast." ~Thomas David Kehoe

Dating is a journey into the unknown. Not only do you have to access your personal beliefs, you also have to equip yourself with dating knowledge.

Men now expect a woman to call them part of the time, while some women are sometimes still waiting at home for men to call them. This can promote frustration as men and women struggle to fit into the new modern dating pattern.

Men and women are traditionally hardwired for fixed masculine and feminine roles. In "Hearts and Minds," Thomas David Kehoe shows how men and women are capable of using both masculine and feminine energy to improve their relationships.

The authors has includes some intriguing facts and concepts:

The Ancient Greeks had six words for love - we need or give various types of love in different stages of our lives.

Is he/she just your friend or are you really dating? How can you tell?

How do you play the dating game?

How do you make the object of your desire want you?

Does speed dating work?

When should you call her?

The first section of the book is essential in order to understand the terms used later and casually throughout. The writing builds upon itself in such a way that I was amazed at the organization and fluid association of thoughts.

The book is divided into four main sections:

Science:

The Evolution of the Human Brain

How Women Select Men

How Men Select Women

How Our Ancestors Lived

Monogamy and Polygamy

Hormones

Communication Styles

Life Stages:

Childhood - Seeking Unconditional Love

Adolescence-Seeking Romantic Love

Adulthood-Families and Forgiveness

Agape-Altruistic Love

Relationships:

Where Couples Met

Flirting

How to Write a Personal Ad

Dating

Sex

Becoming a Couple

Conflict in Relationships

Archetypes:

Emotional Control Systems

Zeus-Hera

Poseidon-Athena

Apollo-Artemis

Hermes-Hestia

Ares-Hephaestus-Aphrodite

Dionysus-Demeter

Hades-Persephone

The Archetypes section is fascinating. You will be able to analyze your own relationships. There are 7 couples to analyze. These personality types have become recognizable through history and here these archetypes appear in the ancient world as gods. They are amazingly true!

I also enjoyed the humor in this book. There was one point when I was laughing so hard I could hardly see the page. Thomas David Kehoe displays great creativity and has a wicked streak of wit. The scientific explanations made complete sense. You will find wonderful quotes, entire passages and bold headings that organize the thoughts beautifully.

Once I started reading, I could not put this book down. I became intellectually intrigued and learned interesting facts not found in other relationships books. This is a truly unique look at how men and women interact and how you can find a relationship of the soul.

~The Rebecca Review

Get this one and read it! I just reviewed it for one of my publishers and loved every page. It had me in tears several times.

The author manages to reduce the most complex scientific terms into easy to understand language. He is skilled in explaining things in a way that makes complete sense. He offers sound, practical advice on how to overcome the obstacles in everyday life and make your relationship work. Best of all, he does it with a sense of humor. His wit will keep you in stitches.

From hormones to the life stages, he covers all the bases with this outstanding manual on love, sex, dating, and all the monkeys that can be thrown into the wrenches of relationships. This is a must read!

Very interesting information can be found in this book about differences in how the sexes approach relationships.

The writing style is a little different, conversational; definitely not your traditional textbook.

I absolutely love this book. I read or skim through easily over 50 books a year and this book is one of my top 10 favorites of all time. I'll tell you why. Most books on interactions such as 'How to Instantly Connect with Anyone, 92 Little Tricks...' or even Dale Carnegie's 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' only deal with the author's personal experiences. This book however, is a level above that. The author doesn't share personal anecdotes as much as he shares scientific research on things that have been proven to work. This book has, among other things, helped me understand women better better and the male author was, in my humble opinion, very brave for being so clear about what they are actually thinking and how they interact.

-Capricorn-Aquarious 10th House Artemis Enneagram the Artist Seeks Taurus 6th House Apollo Enneagram unrepresented-

The funniest, most brilliant haute spoof I've read since Busch and Silver's stellar Why Cats Paint: A theory of feline aesthetics. From the title to the final unlikely couple (Hugh Hefner and Sylvia Plath), author Thomas David Kehoe's mostly poker-faced parody gleams with generous good-humor. If you enjoy good writing and good-hearted send-up, this book leaves no set of facile, ethnocentric, scientific-sounding, globally encompassing yet stereotypic standard theoretical relationship rocks unturned. (Hopefully he'll work the Tarot into the second edition.) All this and the author conveys some perfectly practical and practicable bits of advice, with even a warning or two. For example, that one should not date the author of relationship books.

This book is not a parody. It is a waste of space. I'm glad this was printed on recycled paper. I was offended - as were most of the people in the counseling center where I work. We didn't even want to donate it because someone else might read it. Men should avoid leather because people will think they are gay or mentally unstable? Women must wear short skirts with a slit? Do not waste your time.