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A Heckuva Job: More of the Bush Administration in Rhyme [Hardcover]

Calvin Trillin (Author)
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)

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Whether writing about food, politics, or travel, Calvin Trillin infuses his books with sophistication and humor. Visit Amazon's Calvin Trillin Page.

Book Description

May 30, 2006
Somehow, despite everything Calvin Trillin wrote about the Bush Administration in Obliviously On He Sails, his 2004 bestseller in verse, George W. Bush is still in the White House. Taking a philosophical view, Trillin has said, “We weren’t going to know whether you could bring down a presidency with iambic pentameter until somebody tried it.”

Now Trillin is trying again, back at his pithy and hilarious best to comment on the President’s decision to go to war in Iraq (“Then terrorists could count on what we’d do: / Attack us, we’ll strike back, though not at you”), his religiosity (“He treats his critics in the press / As if they’re yapping Pekineses. / Reporters deal in mundane facts; / This man has got the word from Jesus”), and whether he was wearing a transmitting device in the first presidential debate (“Could this explain his odd expressions? Is there proof he / Was being told, ‘If you can hear me now, look goofy’?”)

Trillin deals with the people around Bush, such as Nanny Dick Cheney and Mushroom Cloud Rice and Orange John Ashcroft and Orange John’s successor, Alberto Gonzales (“The A.G.’s to be one Alberto Gonzales– / Dependable, actually loyal über alles”). He tries to predict the behavior of the famously intemperate John Bolton as ambassador to the United Nations in poems with titles like “Bolton Chases French Ambassador Up Tree” and “White House Says Bolton Can Do Job Even While in Straitjacket.”

Finally, in dealing with whether the entire Bush Administration, like the unfortunate Brownie, has done a heckuva job, he composes a small-government sea chantey for the Republicans:

’Cause government’s the problem, lads,
Americans would all do well to shun it.
Yes, government’s the problem, lads.
At least it is when we’re the ones who run it.

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Calvin Trillin, who became The Nation’s “deadline poet” in 1990, has also written verse on the events of the day for The New Yorker, The New York Times, and National Public Radio. He says he believes in an inclusive political system that prohibits from public office only those whose names have awkward meter or are difficult to rhyme.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

"Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job!" From the moment President George W. Bush uttered that phrase-- to Michael Brown, the director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency-- we knew that it would be attached to his presidency forever...


A qualified guy, I wish I had added.
Your resume's super, even if padded.
We wanted the best to lead FEMA's forces,
And who would know more than a man who knows horses?
You saw that the storm was more than some showers,
And sent off a memo in four or five hours.
You found out that life in the Dome was not Super--
And only a day after Anderson Cooper.
A heckuva job! You know how to lead'em.
We hope to award yo uthe Medal of Freedom.

--October 3. 2005



I CAN'T APPEAR WITHOUT MY NANNY DICK

(George W. Bush Explains the Interview Arrangements
He Has Made with the 9/11 Commission)


When called upon to testify,
I said I was a busy guy
So maybe we could do it on the phone.
They really want a face-to-face.
I said, OK, if that's the case,
I'm certainly not doing it alone.

I can't appear without my Nanny Dick.
For Nanny Dick I've got a serious jones.
I can't appear without my Nanny Dick.
I love the way he cocks his head and drones.

Cartoonists show me as a dummy,*
With voice by Cheney (or by Rummy).
I am the butt of every late-night satirist.
But I just can't go solitaire.

I need the help that's due an heir.
I need a dad, and Dad's a multilateralist.
I can't appear without my Nanny Dick.
He brings along a gravitas I lack.

I can't appear without my Nanny Dick--
The one who knows why we attacked Iraq.
Yes, Condi Rice is quite precise
With foreign policy advice

On who's Afghani and who's Pakistani.
I like to have her near in case
I just can't place some foreign face,
But Condoleezza Rice is not my nanny.

I can't appear without my Nanny Dick.
I wouldn't know which facts I should convey.
I can't appear without my Nanny Dick.
It's Nanny Dick who tells me what to say.

--April 26, 2004

The only time george w. bush seemed reluctant to talk about 9/11 was when he was asked to appear before the 9/11 Commission. Otherwise, he mentioned it constantly, usually just before mentioning the importance of taking our fight against terrorism to Iraq. Considering his attempt to make his case by what rhetoricians might call relentless juxtaposition, George W. Bush may someday be referred to by historians as the Great Conflater.

At the 9/11 hearings, the President's team seemed like unnaturally shy actors pulled onstage for a curtain call. Orange John Ashcroft was there, denying that in the pre-9/11 period he'd told the FBI that he didn't want to be bothered with any more reports about terrorism threats. Mushroom Cloud Rice appeared, insisting that there was no "silver bullet" that might have prevented the attack. She seemed reluctant to reveal the title of the daily intelligence briefing delivered to the President at his Crawford ranch one morning in August 2001, before the full day of brush cutting and mountain biking and general summer fun began. The title was, she finally acknowledged, "Bin Laden Determined to Attack in the United States."

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 128 pages
  • Publisher: Random House (May 30, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1400065569
  • ISBN-13: 978-1400065561
  • Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.7 x 7.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,000,116 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Average Customer Review
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165 of 179 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Our nation's second term-ite, June 1, 2006
This review is from: A Heckuva Job: More of the Bush Administration in Rhyme (Hardcover)
The president's a perfect foil
For author Calvin Trillin.
The nation's in a big turmoil
Thanks to our dimwit villain.

But to the rescue comes "C. T."
Who sheds some light on "Dub-ya".
Each page evokes a firm "teehee"
And will the right way rub ya.

His commentary lights upon
Those Bushies lacking shtick.
There's Mushroom Cloud and Orange John
And Five Deferments Dick.

Yet our commander is the one
That Trillin writes the most of.
It could be said that when he's done
The president's made toast of.

I highly recommend this work
For wit that's nicely offered.
And in '09 that White House jerk
Is goin' home to Crawford.









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73 of 79 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Gosh Dang Heckuva Job, Mr. Trillin, June 18, 2006
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: A Heckuva Job: More of the Bush Administration in Rhyme (Hardcover)
In A HECKUVA JOB Calvin Trillin continues his rhymed assessments of the current Bush administration that he began in OBLIVIOUSLY ON HE SAILS. His title is obvious to anyone who owned a radio or television set during the Katrina debacle. For the two Americans who missed Bush's comment, he informed FEMA Chief Michael Brown that he was doing a "heckuva job" as some New Orleans citizens were stranded on housetops as they held signs begging for help while others lay floating in the waters caused by Katrina. All the usual suspects are back; actually most of them never went away although the country did lose Paul Wolfowitz to the World Bank and John Ashcroft and a couple of others resigned as Mr. Bush began the second four years of his reign. Mr. Trillin takes aim at Mushroom Cloud Rice and Five Deferments Dick-- or if you prefer-- Nanny Dick-- as well as a host of other Bush accomplices.

Here are some of Mr Trillin's gems: About Cheney's statements of Iraq's role in 9/11; "If you say it enough, then it's true." About Bush's current abysmal approval rating: "But those pols don't have Jesus on their side." Condoleezza Rice is described as "cold as ice," but "precise with her advice." George Bush may be remembered by historians as "the Great Conflater." And Trillin on Colin Powell: "It's sad to see, as we remember when/Some thought he was the president-elect to be,/How easily is done a Colinectomy." The most devastating "poem" by far has to be "A Short History Of Someone Who Failed To Get Into The Champagne Unit of The Texas Air National Guard In 1958."

Historians may not recall
My name, now chiseled on that wall.
Still, they might say I played a role
By going on that last patrol
And not returning to my base:
I might have died in Bush's place

There are a lot of other rhymes here of course, but that one stops me in my tracks. Many of them explode upon impact. Sadly Trillin has found out that he could not bring down a presidency "with iambic pentameter." At least not yet.





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59 of 68 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Heckuva Job Writing A Heckuva A Book!, June 20, 2006
This review is from: A Heckuva Job: More of the Bush Administration in Rhyme (Hardcover)
A Heckuva Job Writing A Heckuva A Book! If you want a political satire that will make you laugh, this is the one. Using rhyme to state the obvious that the powers that be haven't a clue what is really going on, just note Katrina and other disasters if you want a clue. The President had to finally go down to New Orleans to make a public show.

The rhythm of the rhyme is hysterically funny, using many of the Bush Admin's people as caricatures. This is a witty (yet powerful prose) style book that will help you laugh at the dire situation this administration has placed our country. It's better to laugh than cry, but taking action in both is best and that's what this author begins to do by cutting in and placing truth in the rhymes.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
The White House, Terri Schiavo, Vietnam War, Nanny Dick, John Kerry, John Bolton
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