Customer Reviews

Help for the Hopeless Child: A Guide for Families (With Special Discussion for Assessing and Treating the Post-Institutionalized Child), Second Edition

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Dr. Federici has been "in the trenches", as a mental health professional dealing with children with problematic behaviors, and as the adoptive parent of post-institutionalized kids. For this reason alone, his book, and his tough treatment program, deserves serious consideration for anyone dealing with a seriously out of control child. Having said this, I am actually glad we didn't read his book before adopting our child from Ukraine, who was indeed seriously out out control the first few months. Although we followed some of the recommendations that are mentioned in his book (many of them have been on the web in various forms for some time), I can't claim to have kept within arm's length of our son for six weeks, and we didn't strip his room or keep him off the TV or from outside activities. There are many kids adopted from East Eurpean countries (I suspect more than the percentage quoted by Federici) who adapt relatively easily to family life. This book is clearly not intended for parents of those kids, although virtually anyone adopting children from insitutionalilzed settings will glean important information and insights from the book.
There are grammatical and spelling errors throughout the book, and the editorially inclined may be tempted to bring out the red pen. But this is a minor criticism of an otherwise wonderful book, which will be truly a "life raft" for parents of out of control children.

We read this book before visiting Dr. Federici for help with our son. It was very helpful in gaining a perspective on the various complexities involved in parenting a child with an institutional background (and adopted internationally). Kids adopted internationally DO present with multidimentional problems stemming from trauma, neglect, abuse, neurological issues, cognitive delays, potential physical manifestations, etc., and Dr. Federici does a great job of outlining how these things effect children prior to, and after their adoption. In addition, getting to know Dr. Federici personally through the evaluation of our son has shown us that he has a real passion for his work and really cares about these kids. His sense for the complexities involved in evaluating and treating these kids is a real gift.

We have twin sons that we adopted from Bulgaria at 2 years old in '04. One has more behavioral issues than the other, and the other has more developmental delays. I had lost sympathy for my little defiant, destructive, tantrum-throwing, whining, fellow until I read this book. It helped me to understand that his issues aren't just behavioral, but neurological, in nature. It has also given us the guidance we needed to ask educated questions of his psychiatrist to get a more accurate diagnosis and plan for the future. I will recommend it to all of his teachers and behavioral specialists that will deal with him on a regular basis. Most importantly, my heart has softened once again for that little undernourished, deprived orphan that we brought home not too long ago. There's a sweet, scared boy under those bristles.

This author has hit the nail on the head with PI kids. he has tons of expertise and knows institutionalized kids. We have raised many, and all these other ' books " are clueless. All the critics obviously have never been hit, kicked, assaulted or attacked. this straight-forward, safe and comprehensive book and family plan is a must for all parents having the toughest kids. Finally, someone tells the truth vs fairy tales that " time will heal all wounds", or " these children do not need safety restraints" ( while they are attacking you). Reading the critique by " reviewer" made it clear they have NO CLUE about troubled children. The one who said " Not A Nice Title " should worry more about content vs a Title, as most of us with tough kids have felt " hopeless " on more than one ocassion.

When parents are dealing with a child with challenging emotions and behaviors, there can be a tendency to believe that there HAS to be a magic-bullet approach to tackling it. Rarely is this the case. Instead, each intervention has to be catered to the unique needs and characteristics of the child and family.

That said, there are some who posted who don't trust what Dr. Federici has put forth in this book, while for others it was a Godsend. As a child psychologist who works primarily with foster and adopted children and their families, I personally find there is a lot of useful information in this book. This is why I recommend it to parents, while encouraging that they check out other options as well (view my Listmania for ideas).

I don't agree with all that Dr. Federici proposes, but that's not the point. He offers good strategies for bringing structure and containment to the life of a troubled child. What child wouldn't do better with that? It's a necessity, however, for children with traumatic backgrounds, though it requires a lot of modification to the lives of parents and the families.

So, I recommend the book, but encourage you to investigate the others. If you apply only some of the strategies, your child will probably be better off.

The book gives detailed treatment of the aggressive, violent, controlling, irrational internationally adopted child. Follow the treatment exactly and your family will benefit greatly. When Dr. Federici says short term sacrifice for long term gain...he means it. He is a wonderful person that truly cares for the children.

I am a family therapist always on the lookout for good books to recommend for families. If I were to recommend this book, which I would not, it is full of grammatical errors, I would tell parents to hide it from their children. Imagine a child finding this book about 'hopeless' children; a very heavy label for a child.

This self-published book advises parents to use highly authoritarian parenting methods and a form of prone restraint to enforce parental commands that is potentially lethal -- and appears to be quite painful, as well.

For concerning quotes from this book, see:
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As negative reviews of this book are routinely removed from this site, I would like to state that I am not a mental health therapist and am in no way in competition with the author.