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Help Me Live, Revised: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know Paperback – September 13, 2011

4.5 out of 5 stars 44 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


“The perfect book for family and friends.”
—Susan Love, MD, author of Dr. Susan Love’s Breast Book, President, The Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation
“This book is a gift to anyone who has been touched by cancer.”
—Nancy L. Snyderman, M.D., F.A.C.S., NBC News Chief Medical Editor, Associate Professor Head and Neck Surgery, University of Pennsylvania
“Lori Hope writes with an eloquence and authenticity that inspires all her readers. If you or a loved one have been touched by cancer, Help Me Live is required reading.”
—Greg Anderson, author of Cancer: 50 Essential Things to Do, Founder and CEO, Cancer Recovery Foundation Group
“Lori Hope offers guidance that is always sensitive and often deeply illuminating. Please, please, read this book!”
—Barbara Ehrenreich, author of Bright–Sided: How Positive Thinking Is Undermining America and Nickel and Dimed
“This is a book every cancer survivor, as well as those who share our world, need to read. She says the words that none of us wants to say out loud and offers realistic explanations of how we all need to relate to our disease. This book can offer a great deal of comfort to those starting on the path of living with cancer.”
—Kathryn Joosten, actress, The West Wing, Desperate Housewives, and Scrubs
“In Help Me Live, Lori Hope has created a masterpiece of compelling and heartfelt words of heal-
ing that should be required reading for doctors, family, and friends of anyone traversing the cancer landscape.”
—Regina Vidaver, PhD, Executive Director, The National Lung Cancer Partnership
“Even though I am a twenty-year survivor, I needed to be reminded about what people in the throes of cancer need, and Lori Hope’s book is perfect.”
—Kathy La Tour, Editor-at-Large, Cure magazine
“In working over fifteen years as an oncology social worker, it seemed as if Lori Hope had been sitting alongside me catching the rich insights and poignant narratives of our clients and then beautifully crafted Help Me Live to assist the world in truly understanding how one best helps the cancer patient.”
—Win Boerckel, LCSW, MSW, Director of Social Service, CancerCare of Long Island
“Lori Hope’s masterful storytelling and clear explanations are invaluable.”
—Wendy Harpham, MD, author of Happiness in a Storm, Diagnosis: Cancer, and Only 10 Seconds to Care: Help and Hope for Busy Clinicians
“Always compassionate and pragmatic, Help Me Live breaks new ground with sections on children and young adults and cultural considerations—truly a wonderful resource for all of us.”
—Peggy McGuire, Executive Director, Women’s Cancer Resource Center
“Help Me Live is beautifully written and offers extraordinary pearls of wisdom on love, on hope, on survivorship, on friendship.”
—Laurie Fenton Ambrose, President and CEO, Lung Cancer Alliance
“As a two-time survivor of breast cancer and a journalist, I found Help Me Live to be informative, touching, and even funny—and when it comes to cancer, you need a sense of humor. The author certainly lives up to her name.”
—Laura Marquez, ABC News correspondent
“[Hope] writes exquisitely of the emotions and the roller-coaster ride of a cancer diagnosis and treatment. As a nurse educator, I plan to share this book with my students to try and give them some insight into the common experiences that many cancer patients have, as well as the uncommon ones.”
—Patricia Reilly, California State University School of Nursing

“This book is invaluable for anyone diagnosed with cancer and for anyone who has a family member or friend battling the disease. Lori Hope, a lung cancer survivor, writes intimately, poignantly, poetically, and humorously.”
—Marc Silver, author of Breast Cancer Husband: Help Your Wife (and Yourself) during Diagnosis, Treatment, and Beyond

About the Author

Lori Hope is a journalist, Emmy-winning documentary filmmaker, and speaker. A tireless advocate for those struggling with the social and interpersonal challenges that come with cancer, she has served on the board of the Bonnie J. Addario Lung Cancer Foundation, has volunteered for The Lung Cancer Alliance and the National Lung Cancer Partnership, and has spoken before the American Cancer Society, the Oncology Nursing Society, and Tulane Medical School. Her commitment to cancer survivors will continue until this book is no longer needed. Visit www.lorihope.com.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Celestial Arts; Revised, Expanded ed. edition (September 13, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 158761149X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1587611490
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.7 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #173,856 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By M. Beyatte on October 7, 2011
Format: Paperback
As a cancer survivor and caregiver, I found this book not only needed but essential. With sensitivity and warmth, it tackles an important subject that must be addressed. As much as we all wish, cancer is not going to go away anytime soon. One in two American men and one in three American women will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetimes. Survivorship has become a national priority and it will continue to grow.

So what do you say to someone whose life has been turned upside down by a cancer diagnosis?

Hope interviewed scores of cancer survivors asking them bluntly about the comments and actions that helped them most, as well as those that wounded. Her book is a practical outline on how to truly help and be present in a cancer survivor's life. More important, is it a storybook full of tales (some quite funny) that illustrate words and actions that have helped or hurt.

I have given copies of this book to many intelligent and sensitive but uniformed people -- people who have asked things like, How much time does the doctor think you have? How much life insurance do you have on your husband?

As more and more cancer survivors thrive, we become a force to be reckoned with. Cancer survivors should not feel slighted in addition to all the other issues they must face. No one can take the disease away, but Hope gives those who have friends and loved ones dealing with the disease an honest and practical blueprint for truly respecting and understanding their needs.

Hope has become a spokeswoman for communicating with compassion and her articles and presentations are truly changing the way we talk about cancer and surviving. What Hope has done for the survivorship movement is remarkable. Her book should be required reading for doctors, nurses and anyone entering the health care profession, as well as anyone touched by cancer.
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Format: Paperback
I posted the following review in March of 2005. With Lori's second edition release of this extraordinary manifesto on how to win the battles of cancer, I am reposting my review with a few comments. First, it has been 6 years since my initial review: I am strong and fit and finding the magic in each day. Thank you, Lori! Secondly, I have added at the end of my review how the lessons learned in 'Help Me Live' have manifested to a little of my own activism and how I share the lessons in Lori Hope's very important guide to many. So, to begin ....

I have had my fair share of cancer battles. In hindsight, there were some battles that I won, and some battles that I lost. I am confident I have won my own personal war against this life-altering disease. Society has a label for someone like me: `A Survivor'. Though the terminology might be appropriate to a degree, I do not think of myself as `A Survivor', but rather a person who has been given a fair share of blessings because I had to my own cancer fights. I consider my self `A Conqueror'. Hard to imagine? Then you should think again. My cancer battles helped me evolve as a person, made me a more enlightened soul, one who appreciates each and every moment I have here. Unfortunately, too many people forget this. My point in sharing this little history of mine is so that you know I am not a single event cancer fighter, but a multiple event Conqueror!

Saying all of this, if you or a person close to you is fighting the big `C', then I cannot express to you the significance of Lori Hope's book Help Me Live: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know. This is more than a must read . . . the advice and perspective Ms.
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Format: Paperback
I have been living with Breast Cancer for over 7 years, 4 of which at Stage IV. There is no cure and I will die of this disease.
Besides enduring endless treatments, baldness 3x, surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation, scans, tests, pain, and the emotional rollercoaster the things that people say or do can be just as painful.
If you are looking for a way to support a family member or friend, please read this book.
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Format: Paperback
A friend, who has been fighting cancer for several years, recommended I read "Help me live" when I told her I was making a special trip from San Francisco to NYC to visit a dear friend of almost 35 years with stage 4 rectal cancer.

It is hard to put into words how helpful "Help me live" was during the five days I spent with Steve.

I was very concerned about our interaction under these circumstances. I read "Help me live" on the plane and took notes. I was very sad to see his decline since I last saw him five months ago. During our five-day visit, I referred to my notes many times. They were a great help in allowing me to be of support to him and to be able to communicate and show my love and caring. When I did not know what to say, I didn't say anything. I allowed him to let me know if and when he wanted to talk about his medical issues. We also continued our relationship and talked about other things we have in common. I held his hand while he was in pain while waiting to see doctors. I massaged his neck. I helped him deal with his activities of daily living that he was having trouble with.

I was able to tell him how much he meant to me, how much he added to my life, how much I loved him, and goodbye. From what he and his friends and family said to me, I know that my visit meant a lot to him. The day after I left, he was hospitalized and he died ten days later.

While this visit was difficult for me, this book made it much less so, and I am so grateful that I went to see Steve. I was so grateful that Lori Hope wrote this wonderful book.

I highly recommend "Help me live" to anyone who has a friend or relative that is fighting cancer.
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