Help--My Kid is Driving Me Crazy: The 17 Ways Kids Manipulate Their Parents, and What You Can Do About It [Paperback]

David Swanson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 2009

* WINNER OF THE NATIONAL PARENTING PUBLICATIONS HONORS AWARD*

Nationally respected child and family psychologist, Dr. David Swanson, offers parents clear and simple techniques for disarming the strategies kids use to manipulate them -- Thereby reducing conflict and restoring peace and happiness back into the home.

Every parent knows that children quickly learn how to manipulate in order to get what they want.  Now, this invaluable and insightful quick-reference book, written by a prominent clinical psychologist who regularly appears as an expert on television shows including The TODAY Show, The Early Show and EXTRA, identifies the 17 unique and specific ways children manipulate their parents as well as how to stop each tactic. These uncannily sophisticated and undermining strategies include:

• Emotional Blackmail
• Shutting Down
• Negotiation
• Confrontation and Protest
• Playing the Victim
• Divide and Conquer
• Casting Doubt

Filled with informative and practical advice, this insightful, award-winning guide is designed to get parents the help they need in "5 minutes or less!"  If you are a parent desperate to put an end to the conflict and begin building a strong, loving relationship with your child, "Help" has arrived.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

David Swanson, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in Encino, California, treats children, teens, and families suffering from anxiety disorders, behavioral difficulties, and social problems to improve parent-child relationships. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 18 and up
  
• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Perigee Trade (September 1, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0399535268
• ISBN-13: 978-0399535260
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #49,618 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. David Swanson, a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in Encino, CA, treats children and teens suffering from Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), oppositional and defiant behavior, anxiety, depression, and social problems.

As a married father of three boys, Dr. Swanson lends plenty of hands-on experience. From potty training to sleep training: play dates to piano lessons: sports to academics: and discipline to cuddles, he knows first hands the current issues families face today. He is well known throughout the community because of his success with children, teens and parents. As a result, hundreds of families have turned to him for help - be it academic, behavioral, social or emotional. As part of his treatment regimen, Dr. Swanson educates parents on specific parenting strategies and normal child development.

Dr. Swanson's experience is extensive. He has worked with children who have endured severe physical and emotional abuse at Children's Health Care Campus and The Glen Roberts Child Study Center, both in Southern California. He also has worked with families to strengthen communication and the overall quality of life within the home at The Child and Family Guidance Center (Northridge, CA.). And, he has supervised classroom settings at Northpoint (Northridge, CA) and The Sycamores (Altadena, CA).



Dr. Swanson holds two Master's Degrees and a Doctoral Degree in Clinical Psychology and has been trained in biofeedback at the Staff and Faculty Counseling Center of the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), giving him unique insights into the impact and treatment of stress. While at UCLA, Dr. Swanson held stress management workshops across the campus and was a sought after speaker at the School of Dentistry and the Chancellor's Office. After UCLA, he went on to create The Stress Management Workshop where his clients included HealthNet Wellness Programs and a host of Southern California attorneys. In fact, Dr. Swanson's program, The Keys to Reducing Stress, is approved for continuing education by the State Bar of California.



Dr. Swanson frequently serves as a media consultant and has appeared on television news programs including The TODAY Show (NBC) The Early Show (CBS) and also has been a guest on the nationally televised EXTRA. He has been interviewed by local and national radio across the country including CNN, ABC Talk Radio and Family Life Radio. Stories featuring Dr. Swanson have appeared in The Daily News, The San Diego Tribune, LA Parent and Ladies Home Journal. In addition, he had addressed media-related corporate groups including DreamWorks, SKG.



In 2003, Dr. Swanson established Swanson, Conti and Associates (www.SwansonContiandAssociates.com). SCA is a private practice psychological corporation that focuses on treating the needs of children, teens and families. Having worked with hundreds of families, Dr. Swanson has received praise from clients and other professionals for his sensitivity, compassion and dedication to the health and welfare of his clients. Being "down to earth," "knowledgeable," and "really caring" are phrases often repeated with respect to Dr. Swanson. In his ongoing efforts to help children and families live happier, healthier lives, Dr. Swanson created The Healthy Child (www.TheHealthyChild.INFO), an online newsletter, which provides a forum for Los Angeles-based professionals to share valuable insights to parents. The Healthy Child has become one of the fastest growing child-focused newsletters in Los Angeles as it reaches parents, schools, professionals and corporate groups.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Parenting Reference That Every Parent Should Own!, November 27, 2009

By 

R. Conti "love being a parent" (California) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Help--My Kid is Driving Me Crazy: The 17 Ways Kids Manipulate Their Parents, and What You Can Do About It (Paperback)

Dr. Swanson has created a powerful and insightful reference guide for parents looking to put an end to parent/child conflict once and for all.

This book is based upon the 17 ways children manipulate their parents as well as what parents can do about it. Dr. Swanson refers to these manipulation strategies as the "Tools of Power." In the beginning of the book, a quick reference list of all 17 Tools of Power is offered so that parents can quickly turn to the appropriate chapter and get the answers they need - FAST! As a parent, I can say that the strategies Dr. Swanson offers are simple to understand, easily implemented and effective.

In the second half of this book, Dr. Swanson goes even further as he offers "proactive" interventions which are designed to greatly reduce problematic behaviors in the future. He does this by offering the reader a new model which he developed in order to assess a child's temperament. This temperament is an essential piece of information, he notes, as it allows for parents to create a home structure, specifically tailored to their child's needs (regardless of age). It is this new home structure that will greatly reduce problematic behaviors in the future.

Dr. Swanson's advice is powerful and simple-to-understand. It is written in a relatable, straight-forward fashion that any parent will can appreciate. An example includes a section of the book in which he explains that parents possess three innate desires:

1. To keep their child 'safe,'

2. To look out for their child's 'better interest in the future,'

3. To 'ensure their child's happiness.'

Dr. Swanson points out that most parent/child conflict is the result of the child's happiness being placed into conflict with their safety and/or better interest in the future. Dr. Swanson urges parents to keep their priorities straight - Always putting 'safety' first, 'better interest' second and 'happiness' last. He notes that children are driven to find happiness. And, he states, that by keeping these priorities straight, parents will feel fulfilled in their role as a responsible, effective parent.

This book has helped us to feel much more closer as a family. Because of the renewed understanding and appreciation we now have for our children, we spend less time fighting and more time connecting. I urge you to pick this book up as I believe it can do the same for you and your family!

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Finally! A Handbook for parenting!, May 29, 2010

By 

R. Robbins (SHERMAN OAKS, CA, US) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Help--My Kid is Driving Me Crazy: The 17 Ways Kids Manipulate Their Parents, and What You Can Do About It (Paperback)

Every hand book that I have occasionally read or glanced through reads exactly like a book. Why shouldn't it, its at a book store. But every parent I've ever met has never had the time to sit and read a book, let alone a book on what to do when frustrating moments come to pass with raising a child. This book doesn't. It a good read for sure, but designed as a reference guide to immediately identify the problem and solution. It helps to reinforce what parents do correctly, what not to do, and how to break cycles in bad habits.

There truly are only 17 ways kids manipulate. And manipulate is not used with malicious intent, but what kids do to satisfy their wants- very simply. I sent this book to my brother and his wife after they had their first child. He felt more confident in the choices they will use to guide their child and his wife also identified some of the manipulation techniques that she noticed in either my brother or her friends and co-workers. (As in this book doesn't just work for parents to kids). She mentioned that to my parents and they read this book. They have also noticed things my brother and I have done when we were kids and how they wish this book by Dr. Swanson was available when they were raising us.

I have had the pleasure of meeting Dr. David Swanson during his book signing and found that he wrote this book not only based on 15 years as a child and family therapist, but also with his own experience as a father of three.

In short, you have only to gain in getting this book.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I am not a bad mom after all, December 16, 2009

By 

Kym Eisner (Encino, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Help--My Kid is Driving Me Crazy: The 17 Ways Kids Manipulate Their Parents, and What You Can Do About It (Paperback)

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this book. Dr. Swanson has not only allowed me to see things through a different lense, but he has made me feel normal! I love my kids, I want to do all I can for them, but sometimes, I just don't know how. Keeping my cool can be hard when the kids are invested in getting what they want. With this book, I now feel that I have a guide to refer to that will help me remember, I am a good mom, my kids are just being kids and that there are concrete steps to take to move us past the momentary meltdowns. Thank you.