Customer Reviews

Help--My Kid is Driving Me Crazy: The 17 Ways Kids Manipulate Their Parents, and What You Can Do About It

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Dr. Swanson has created a powerful and insightful reference guide for parents looking to put an end to parent/child conflict once and for all.

This book is based upon the 17 ways children manipulate their parents as well as what parents can do about it. Dr. Swanson refers to these manipulation strategies as the "Tools of Power." In the beginning of the book, a quick reference list of all 17 Tools of Power is offered so that parents can quickly turn to the appropriate chapter and get the answers they need - FAST! As a parent, I can say that the strategies Dr. Swanson offers are simple to understand, easily implemented and effective.

In the second half of this book, Dr. Swanson goes even further as he offers "proactive" interventions which are designed to greatly reduce problematic behaviors in the future. He does this by offering the reader a new model which he developed in order to assess a child's temperament. This temperament is an essential piece of information, he notes, as it allows for parents to create a home structure, specifically tailored to their child's needs (regardless of age). It is this new home structure that will greatly reduce problematic behaviors in the future.

Dr. Swanson's advice is powerful and simple-to-understand. It is written in a relatable, straight-forward fashion that any parent will can appreciate. An example includes a section of the book in which he explains that parents possess three innate desires:

1. To keep their child 'safe,'

2. To look out for their child's 'better interest in the future,'

3. To 'ensure their child's happiness.'

Dr. Swanson points out that most parent/child conflict is the result of the child's happiness being placed into conflict with their safety and/or better interest in the future. Dr. Swanson urges parents to keep their priorities straight - Always putting 'safety' first, 'better interest' second and 'happiness' last. He notes that children are driven to find happiness. And, he states, that by keeping these priorities straight, parents will feel fulfilled in their role as a responsible, effective parent.

This book has helped us to feel much more closer as a family. Because of the renewed understanding and appreciation we now have for our children, we spend less time fighting and more time connecting. I urge you to pick this book up as I believe it can do the same for you and your family!

Every hand book that I have occasionally read or glanced through reads exactly like a book. Why shouldn't it, its at a book store. But every parent I've ever met has never had the time to sit and read a book, let alone a book on what to do when frustrating moments come to pass with raising a child. This book doesn't. It a good read for sure, but designed as a reference guide to immediately identify the problem and solution. It helps to reinforce what parents do correctly, what not to do, and how to break cycles in bad habits.

There truly are only 17 ways kids manipulate. And manipulate is not used with malicious intent, but what kids do to satisfy their wants- very simply. I sent this book to my brother and his wife after they had their first child. He felt more confident in the choices they will use to guide their child and his wife also identified some of the manipulation techniques that she noticed in either my brother or her friends and co-workers. (As in this book doesn't just work for parents to kids). She mentioned that to my parents and they read this book. They have also noticed things my brother and I have done when we were kids and how they wish this book by Dr. Swanson was available when they were raising us.

I have had the pleasure of meeting Dr. David Swanson during his book signing and found that he wrote this book not only based on 15 years as a child and family therapist, but also with his own experience as a father of three.

In short, you have only to gain in getting this book.

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this book. Dr. Swanson has not only allowed me to see things through a different lense, but he has made me feel normal! I love my kids, I want to do all I can for them, but sometimes, I just don't know how. Keeping my cool can be hard when the kids are invested in getting what they want. With this book, I now feel that I have a guide to refer to that will help me remember, I am a good mom, my kids are just being kids and that there are concrete steps to take to move us past the momentary meltdowns. Thank you.

Thank you Dr. OMG are you right on the money!!! It is also clear now. The fog has lifted. I see and recognize the manipulation now. I see the artistry of it all. My son is quite gifted in the delivery of his artistry. My husband and I laughed out loud as we read your book. Sometimes the laughter - really should be tears of another kind, but we chose to see it all from a humorous stand point when the issues were manipulation. We learned a lot and are constantly re-examining our responses when we are weak and he manages to break us or wear us down. We get right back up on the proverbial horse that you have provided us. Your book is not only about light hearted or gentle manipulation and does get into some very serious issues that I hope we never have to face. Whether we face them or not, there will be others in our lives that have to and it will touch us in some way. Thank you for the road map and specific exercises to employ in our defense. This book is a blessing!

R. Cesarani

Dr. David Swanson's book for active parents is so on top of it. I wish it were available when my wife and I were raising our two boys. Many of the 17 ways kids manipulate their parents are so recognizable in this book. And the best part, he shows you the antidote for that behavior. He makes you realize that children us these skills just to gain their own happiness, for the moment, and you as a parent are made to realize the importance of making the parental choices for safety before their self indulgences. He shows you the priorities that are necessary for a child to grow into a responsible adult and productive citizen. This book is very readable for any parent, and is quite essential. I know I will keep his advice in mind as I relate to my grandson. I do recommend it for all parents.

i have a 3 year old and i needed guidance , thanks to the book , i'm learning a lot